hell
Homeschooled Kids Waiting to be Raptured Still Don't Have To Learn Anything, Texas Supreme Court Rules
Marina Galperina · 06/28/16 12:40PMHamilton Nolan · 04/08/16 02:23PM
LIRR Service Is All Fucked Up, As Revelation Foretold
Kelly Conaboy · 09/02/15 10:02AMFor 90 minutes this morning, Long Island Rail Road service was suspended coming into and going out of Penn Station due to “signal trouble.” For 90 minutes this morning, LIRR riders inundated the E, 7, and 2/3 subway lines, as the MTA cross-honored their LIRR fares. For 90 minutes this morning, Satan was released from his prison, deceiving the nations in the four corners of the earth—LIRR and MTA—to gather them for battle.
Instagram Descends Into Chaos: Landscape Photos, Vertical Photos–What’s Next?
Kelly Conaboy · 08/27/15 03:00PMYesterday in order to post a photo on Instagram you had to fit your dog, face, or palm tree into a decent and humble square. If you’re looking for that sort of order and play-by-the-rules civility in today’s world, well, keeping looking, buddy. You’re just gonna have to keep looking for that, my friend.
Comcast Plays Cool Prank on Customer Who Tried to Cancel Her Cable
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/28/15 10:29PMComcast Subscribers Discover New Circles of Customer Service Hell
Jay Hathaway · 08/13/14 10:00AMTwo recent high-profile calls to Comcast customer service—one where a rep kept a couple stuck in a verbal loop for 20 minutes as they desperately tried to disconnect their service, and one where the company only reversed fraudulent fees because the customer recorded the call—have opened the floodgates of evidence that your only choice for cable service doesn't give a shit about you.
Welcome to Guitar Center, a Nightmare from Which You'll Never Escape
Andy Cush · 08/12/14 04:20PMWhen you first step inside the Times Square Guitar Center, perhaps you hear the opening arpeggios of "Stairway to Heaven," floating across the sales floor like a spring breeze. Then, the "Crazy Train" solo adds a dissonant but not altogether unpleasant counterpoint, followed closely by the "Layla" chorus riff, as if in fugue. By the time "Enter Sandman" starts, slow and lumbering, things are starting to sound ugly.
Here's Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Snappy Comeback to "Aliens Going to Hell"
Jay Hathaway · 07/28/14 12:20PMLast week, creationist minister Ken Ham responded to a NASA astronomer's estimate that "in the next 20 years we will find out we are not alone in the universe" by declaring the search for extraterrestrials "pointless" because they're all going to hell anyway. Neil DeGrasse Tyson, astronomical badass, went on Real Time With Bill Maher Friday to offer a well-reasoned counterpoint.
Study: Tylenol Is Useless for Back Pain
Hamilton Nolan · 07/24/14 08:48AMHellish Comcast Call Sets New Standard for Shitty Customer Service
Andy Cush · 07/15/14 08:30AMParty of Satan to Hold 2016 Convention in Hell
Hamilton Nolan · 07/08/14 12:22PMNuns Sue New Strip Club Neighbors Over Loud Noise, Used Condoms
Allie Jones · 06/17/14 03:20PMHell, Envisioned: 50 Kids Play Recorders on the Subway
Rich Juzwiak · 05/21/14 09:10AMIn the Future, Jail Will Be Eternal Life in an "Artificial Hell"
Max Read · 03/14/14 01:59PMAirlines Are Purposely Shrinking Seats to Make You Miserable
Hamilton Nolan · 10/24/13 12:53PMHappy Christmas Advertising Season! *Gunshot*
Hamilton Nolan · 09/10/13 01:45PMYou Will Never Be Able to Escape Your Suburban Office Park
Hamilton Nolan · 05/22/13 08:36AMAs demographic changes push America's suburbs into a new life as homes to the poor, one of the obvious infrastructural consequences— along with dead malls— is the potential for a plague empty and unwanted office parks. Ugh, nothing could be more depressing. Except for the solution to unwanted office parks.