How Much Money Do You Have: Bryan Goldberg

This is a series called How Much Money Do You Have where I ask people how much money they have, total. The first HMMDYH installation is an email chain between me and Bustle Digital Group CEO Bryan Goldberg, who bought this website at an auction in 2018 for $1.35 million, so presumably his total is larger than that. I wouldn’t know exactly because he didn’t answer the question.

Tarpley Hitt Jul 8, 2021, 3:47 PM

to Bryan

Hey Bryan,

How much money do you have?

--

Tarpley

Bryan Goldberg Jul 9, 2021, 12:29 AM

to Tarpley

This touches upon one of my very favorite topics — money. From a young age, I have wanted to make as much of it as possible, and I'm making incredible progress on that front. But the overwhelming majority of my wealth is not held in U.S. dollars. Nor is it held in euros or yen or even Turkish lira. The lion’s share of my wealth is held in shares of my corporate holding company: BDG Media Inc.

I have spent the better part of a decade painstakingly addressing one existential risk after another. I have assuaged the concerns of large advertisers who were reluctant to bet on a no-name upstart like me. I have ameliorated financial risk by groveling to venture capitalists and hedge-fund managers for nearly 20 years. Indeed, I have done everything possible to keep this company on a healthy and stable path. Almost nothing can go wrong now.

There is exactly one thing that could still fuck it all up for me and cost me every dime of my considerable fortune: Gawker. If there is one website that could get me sued into oblivion, then it is almost certainly Gawker. Let’s face it — do we think that Bustle or Nylon Magazine is going to pick a petty and ill-conceived fight with a deca-billionaire? Probably not.

But let’s peel back the onion further, shall we? In quantifying or assessing any existential risk, one must seek to understand the point of failure. Which beam or pillar is most likely to crack or collapse under the weight of excessive force? Who on my Gawker writing staff is most likely to provoke the ire of the next Peter Thiel, or — even worse — someone much wealthier than him? Let’s think about that. Kelly Conaboy is not a risk, because she writes about reality television stars and quadrupeds engaged in tomfoolery. That can’t get me sued. Leah Finnegan? No, she won’t dare cross me because I have already fired her once.

What I’m getting at, Tarpley, is this — the single biggest threat to my imminent fortune is you. I have read much of your past work, and it’s clear that you have an almost fetishistic grudge against wealthy men [Ed. note — Tarpley previously covered billionaires for the Daily Beast]. Here’s the problem… it’s not Tarpley in the hot seat… it’s Bryan Goldberg. Every time you write an article about some designer-drug addled megalomaniac, it is my ass on the line. Do not ruin this for me.

Bryan

If you want to tell me how much money you have and are also famous or powerful, send an email to tarpley@gawker.com.