An Alabama man, accused of third-degree assault, attempted to wiggle out of his legal trouble by wiggling out of his pants. He reportedly showed the alleged assault victim his dumb penis and asked her to drop the charges. To everyone’s absolute and total shock, he was unable to make his problems disappear merely by waving his dick like a magic wand.

Wiley Lee Sanders, 32, added indecent exposure to the charges pending against him when he visited his alleged victim’s home May 10. Alabama news site AL.com reports the woman wasn’t especially moved by what he had to offer:

He offered to have sex with her once and left when she turned him down, but returned hours later, according to the documents. The second time the woman opened the door, Sanders dropped his pants and showed her his penis, then asked to either come inside or to take her back to his apartment.

The woman refused, went inside and closed the door, according to the deposition.

She called police, and Sanders was eventually picked up Wednesday. AL.com reports he’s out on bond from the Tuscaloosa County Jail.

[Photo: State of Alabama]