Rolling Stone's Tim Dickinson has a devastating story gutting one of Mitt Romney's origin myths as a "Turnaround Guy." Romney has always taken credit for rescuing Bain & Co., the consulting firm where he got his start (as distinct from Bain Capital, the private equity operation he later co-founded) from the clutches of bankruptcy by dint of fearless resolve, hard work, and common sense. The truth: He raided its coffers for executive bonuses even as it owed millions to the federal government, and used the resulting lack of cash as leverage to screw over the company's creditors.

This story is part of a package on Mitt Romney's Bain holdings. For the full report, go here.

This story is part of a package on Mitt Romney's Bain holdings. For the full report, go here.

Mitt Romney's $250 million fortune is largely a black hole: Aside from the meager and vague disclosures he has filed under federal and Massachusetts laws, and the two years of partial tax returns (one filed and another provisional) he has released, there is almost no data on precisely what his vast holdings consist of, or what vehicles he has used to escape taxes on his income. Gawker has obtained a massive cache of confidential financial documents that shed a great deal of light on those finances, and on the tax-dodging tricks available to the hyper-rich that he has used to keep his effective tax rate at roughly 13% over the last decade.

This story is part of a package on Mitt Romney's Bain holdings. For the full report, go here.

This story is part of a package on Mitt Romney's Bain holdings. For the full report, go here.

This story is part of a package on Mitt Romney's Bain holdings. For the full report, go here.

World's fittest man Paul Ryan is in a bit of ideological trouble today after it was revealed that the congressman lied about requesting a stimulus package. Just yesterday Ryan told ABC's Cincinatti affiliate:

Behold the first election-year bombshell: Barack Obama's White House will announce this morning that it will unilaterally begin granting work permits to as many as 800,000 illegal immigrants who arrived in the United States as children, graduated from high school, and stayed out of trouble with the law. He's essentially implemented the much-debated DREAM Act, only without the hassle of all that voting in Congress. He should have done this with health care!

Yesterday, a tipster sent us a note indicating that he had successfully accessed Mitt Romney's Hotmail and DropBox accounts after guessing the answer to a security question—Romney's favorite pet. The Romney campaign later confirmed that "the proper authorities are investigating [the] crime." Now that tipster has written a letter of apology to Romney. Here it is.

Everything old is new again: A tipster has emailed Gawker claiming to have hacked into Mitt Romney's private email and DropBox accounts.

Mitt Romney has reportedly been offered a Saturday Night Live hosting gig by executive producer Lorne Michaels himself. The last time a candidate hosted the show was in 1996 when GOP candidate Steve Forbes hosted. (He never made it to the general election.)

Okay people, let's do this. I got a bottle of Sangiovese and ten of my bestest galpals with me, and I am prepared to dispense MAXIMUM BITCHINESS. Your host tonight is Billy Crystal, whom you almost certainly haven't seen since the LAST time he hosted the Oscars. Don't be shocked if he walks out onto the stage looking like Miracle Max, only covered in bad foundation makeup and without the hat. Your Best Picture nominees are as follows:

You may not be the only one at your Oscar party tonight pretending to have seen all nine Best Picture nominees: 2011 moviegoing attendance was the lowest in 15 years.

Don't you hate when you have so much money that everything you say inadvertently draws attention to your staggering wealth? Bet Mitt Romney does. Today, while giving a speech to what appears to be 18 people in a massive stadium in Detroit, Romney said.

Pinterest—the social network for prudes and women who knit—got its first political satire account yesterday. Within 24 hours, Mitt Romney's president campaign torpedoed it.

Out of nowhere, the Miami Herald has dusted off and expanded upon one of Washington's oldest and juiciest political rumors: The one about a rising young beltway journalist and his gay affair with a powerful GOP congressman, and how the journalist shot himself in the head when his lover's political rival threatened to out them. According to the Herald, that rival may have been Newt Gingrich.

Yesterday we brought you a C-SPAN prank caller who asked New Hampshire Republican Party Chairman Wayne MacDonald whether Mitt Romney had a large penis (he does). Turns out it was not an isolated incident. Here is a compilation, via Mediaite, of C-SPAN callers—actually one caller, it sounds like—working in references to Mitt Romney's penis over the air. The last one is positively brilliant. Mitt Romney has a huge penis.

With "nothing left to do" on the campaign trail, the Romneys went to the movies this afternoon, where Tagg demonstrated the worst way for a pale-eyed family to pose for a picture: In a dim theater in front of a camera with a flash, which will turn all of their perfect blue eyes into glowing orbs of horror.

The New Hampshire primary is supposed to be a civil, grassroots affair in which Granite Staters politely listen to a class of sophisticated presidential candidates discuss the important issues — trade, housing, etc. — and then pass on their choice of the most serious of the serious candidates for the nation to certify. There is no time for silliness; this is an affair of statesmanship. Also, there's this crazy guy who wears a boot on his head and shouts nonsense who shows up in Manchester every cycle.