At the height of the Second World War, FDR gave a stirring radio address in which he reassured the American public that "no matter how dark the hour, we can take great comfort in knowing that an overpriced gym chain will eventually capitalize on it a decade later with some self-serving, bullshit coupon they damn well know no one will ever use." And what do you know? History has once again gone and repeated itself. Congrats, New York Sports Clubs! You are true patriots, through and through.

On Thursday, Rolaine Foigelman of Tonawanda, N.Y. pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of an incompetent person based on an incident in which she tried to stop bystanders from helping to save her son's life. Hey, at least nobody will accuse her of being a helicopter mom now.

TPM watched Mike Huckabee's new children's educational video about 9/11 so you don't have to. What's inside? A lot of talk about how "most Muslims" aren't terrorists, a reference or two to The Kite Runner, more than a couple scenes extolling America's commitment to Israel — and no mention whatsoever of President Obama authorizing the mission that took out bin Laden.

In the days following 9/11, rescuers discovered a cross-shaped steel beam in the rubble. The cross became a symbol of hope at Ground Zero over the years and was recently installed at the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, but its placement there was threatened last week by a lawsuit filed by an atheist group. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart wasted no time declaring what side he was on when he blasted the atheists, asking, "Why do you give a shit?" Video of Stewart's segment is above.

Corporate Twits is an internet jokester whose shtick is to send prank tweets to corporate Twitter accounts, then post their responses to his Tumblr. Usually, they are very friendly and apologetic (like this exchange between Applebees and a supposedly obese woman who was reserved service). But a bad-taste tweet to JetBlue about 9/11 anniversary specials went a little too far in the friendly direction, earning a bizarrely sincere response from the airline. So, stay posted, I guess?

When White House chief of staff Andy Card told President Bush about the September 11th attacks in a Florida elementary school classroom, many people thought he just looked confused and perhaps a little stupid. Wrong! Bush told the National Geographic Channel in an interview that's going to be endlessly dissected by Truthers during "Remembering 9/11" week that he "didn't want to rattle the kids" by standing up and doing his job, and that he'd "been in enough crises to know that the first thing a leader has to do is to project calm." So that's what he did. He collected his thoughts, spaced out for a bit, and projected confusion calm.

On Tuesday, federal officials concluded that there wasn't enough evidence to link cases of cancer in 9/11 first responders to the duties they performed at Ground Zero. Consequently, the bill providing health care to the responders will not include coverage for cancer treatments. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart, who has long advocated for the bill's passage, made no secret of his anger over the news. Video of Stewart's segment is above.

It's almost that time of year: 9/11 time. One media outlet would like to commemorate the 10th-anniversary of our national tragedy with a "9/11/back-to-school fashion photo spread," whatever that means.

The U.S. Justice Department is preparing to hand out its first subpoenas in connection with their investigation into News Corp.'s alleged hacking of 9-11 victims. In their report, the Wall Street Journal quotes an anonymous "person close to News Corp." who dismisses the subpoenas as being "a fishing expedition with no evidence to support it." (Gee, I wonder how they managed to track down that Deep Throat? "Hey Bob, I'm going for a Starbucks run. Want anything? Oh, and could you give me a damage-control quote for this thing I'm writing? Sweet.") The subpoenas, which would give federal investigators broad access to News Corp. records and information, need approval by a senior Justice Department official before they can be issued. Shouldn't be long now. [Photo: AP]

We have, in the past, attempted to clear up the apparently common misconception that 911 is for frivolities like nude Facebook photos or business cards. (It is not. It is for emergencies only.) Would that Raymond Roberge had listened!

Here's President Obama's relatively subdued appearance at Ground Zero, where he laid a wreath to honor the victims of 9/11 and then chatted up a nice police officer. No soaring speeches today, it seems. Before the ceremony he stopped at a local firehouse, and now he's meeting privately with 9/11 victims' families.

The students of Sandra Kay Daniels' 2nd grade class at Emma E. Booker Elementary School, in Sarasota, FL., were accidental footnotes to history — eyewitnesses to President Bush's stunned, seven-minute reaction to the news that the World Trade Center had been struck by hijacked passenger planes on the morning of September 11, 2001.

Here's a good way to make those of you who aren't very old feel extremely old: The kids these days — many of the same ones who love torture and will never be happy — took the occasion of Osama bin Laden's death to figure out who the hell he was in the first place. Was he important? Why is his death such a "thing"?

An empty house in Marblehead, Mass. seems to have called 911 on its own after months of enduring a leaky pipe that covered the walls with toxic mold. And you thought that dog that called the police was smart.

Many have credited Jon Stewart with helping to finally push the long overdue James Zadroga 9/11 Health And Compensation Law—which provides health care for afflicted first responders—through Congress. So when he heard about a seemingly unconscionable amendment to the bill that requires the government to make sure the heroes aren't terrorists before providing them benefits, Stewart was understandably angry. And on tonight's Daily Show, he let it be known.

After the passage of the Zadroga bill, 9/11 first responders will finally be able to receive their much-deserved compensation and health care coverage. But first, the government has to make sure they're not terrorists.

Charges for Lindsay Lohan's alleged assault of a Betty Ford Center employee Dawn Holland have been dropped, and now we've been treated to audio from the 911 call that started the mess. Turns out Lindsay called the cops because she was scared of Dawn.

Police in Oregon received two calls on Monday night: One from a homeowner whose place had been broken into. And the other from the guy who broke into the house.

This is the World Trade Center attacks, as seen from an NYPD helicopter. I'm not sure I can do it justice, except to say that it's among the most transfixing 17 minutes of video I've ever seen. The clip was originally obtained by the National Institute of Standards and Technology under the Freedom of Information Act for their investigation into the attacks, and anonymously sent, released, along with several still photographs taken from another helicopter, to the secret-sharing website Cryptome by the National Institute of Standards and Technology to fulfill a Freedom of Information Act request. You can download the photos here.

"In some ways," the threat of terrorism is "at its most heightened state" since 9/11, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told the House Homeland Security Committee on Wednesday. Certainly, the threat of magazine-publishing is at a very heightened state—perhaps its most heightened state—as National Counterterrorism Center Michael E. Leiter testified regarding the "spiffy" magazine from al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, Inspire. ("It's got great graphics," he told committee members, which is more than we can say for the Tea Party Review.)