It seemed SNL was all about politics tonight, from the opening Fox News parody to a second Don't Ask, Don't Tell discussion in a View sketch. But it was Andy Samberg's obscenity-laden impersonation of Rahm Emanuel that stole the show.

Come one, come all, and join us as we live blog the television event that forced President Obama to opine on the State of the Union a week early: the premiere of the sixth—and final—season of LOST.

The 'Alternate Eden' theory proves true, and it's up to you to ensure the operation was successful. You and you alone are in charge of what happens in this story. You are the final variable.

Supposedly this is the beginning of the first episode of Lost's new season, courtesy Dark UFO. By clicking you lose any rights to cry about spoilers, though the clip doesn't reveal much and just makes me curious for more.

We told you about the John Edwards sex tape that will make you say "whoa" on Monday. Now, his former aide and Rielle Hunter affair fallguy Andrew Young has talked about it.

British chef Jamie Oliver has a new television series where he's given the task of changing the way that the residents of Huntington, West Virginia eat. It's both entertaining and sad to see his efforts in the fattest American city.

ABC finally euthanize Ugly Betty. It used to be one of the best shows on TV, but the network system's intractable greed and antiquated system ruined it. Can't we have term limits for TV series?

• The iPad may be cool and all. But don't expect it to revolutionize newspapers. Or magazines. Or even book publishing. [AdAge, NYT, Reuters, NYT]
• The WSJ is getting ready to take on the Times. Three dozen staffers (and $15 mil.) will go into creating its new NYC edition, which debuts in April. [NYO]
• NBC and Conan O'Brien are back in business (sort of): The network is picking up a pilot from Conaco, O'Brien's production company. In less surprising news, Jay Leno says he hasn't spoken to Conan since the late-night drama unfolded; and Comcast's chief says he's behind NBC CEO Jeff Zucker (officially-speaking).
• ABC has decided to bring Ugly Betty to an end after this season. [LAT]
• MSNBC wasn't planning to air last Friday's Haiti telethon. But then Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow got involved and things changed. [NYO]
• Harvey and Bob Weinstein are looking to buy back the Miramax name. [DH]
• Louis Auchincloss, chronicler of WASP culture, is dead at 92. [NYT]

In your wicked Wednesday media column: the post-Roger Hodge day at Harper's, real journalists sure don't work in a "coffee shop," layoffs at ABC, and Nancy Grace is bad.

Historically, Jay Leno hasn't shied away from speaking about his job status. Leno's statements over the last few weeks—full of jokes about NBC, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman—reinforced that characteristic. Recently, however, he's been unusually mum. What gives?

Another day, another piece of news about broadcast television's slow, painful death rattle. It's no longer just primetime that's hemorrhaging: the big old networks are fighting battles in daytime, in news, and royally fucking up their once-sturdy late night empires.

It happened: Avatar has beaten out Titanic to become the highest grossing film of all time. And as Avatar towers above, petty American Idol squabbles continue, Arianna Huffington's sit-com is green lit and Forest Whitaker stars in a crime drama.

Conan O'Brien just closed out his final episode as host of The Tonight Show, and what a show it was: hilarious shenanigans, Steve Carell, Tom Hanks, Neil Young, a tearful statement of gratitude, and Will Ferrell with a mothereffing cowbell.

Nobody knows what will happen when Lost returns for its final season, but one thing is certain: fans will be rabid by premiere night. A new promo has flashes of unseen footage—just enough to sustain the frantic anticipation.

Advertisers are coming up with new ways every day to get their message to the masses. However, Sherri channeled old-fashioned "pay for play" strategies this morning as she boasted about face lotion. And now, a word from our sponsor...

The Hoff is back: A&E has picked up a reality series starring David Hasselhoff and it's gonna be huge. What do you think the show's about? Drinking? No, unfortunately. It is about his David Hasselhoff's beautiful daughters.

If it wasn't clear before, it is now: David Letterman hates Jay Leno. Letterman repeatedly destroyed Leno on his show tonight, implying he's a thief and all-around bad guy. And while O'Brien made fun of NBC, Leno took personal digs.

• More on the epic mess at NBC: Conan O'Brien's manager says the late-night host's missive earlier today "came from the heart" and wasn't a negotiating ploy; TMZ reports that Conan is close to signing a deal with Fox; the public is siding with O'Brien over Leno; Letterman is taking lots of pleasure in the drama, naturally; and as for NBC chief Jeff Zucker, the man responsible for creating this disaster, this latest chapter may (finally!) be his undoing.
• Sarah Palin showed up for her first day at Fox News today. [AP, NYT]
• Is Rupert Murdoch about to kick Fox News CEO Roger Ailes to the curb? Some people seem to think so, although it's probably pretty unlikely. [NYM]
• Longtime Condé Nast exec Richard Beckman is leaving the publishing giant to become the CEO of e3 Global Media, the company that is now in control of The Hollywood Reporter, Billboard, AdAge and others. [NYP, NYT]
• Remember that breach-of-contract lawsuit against CBS that Dan Rather lost last fall? His motion to appeal the decision has ended in defeat, too. [AP]
• ABC is bringing back Cougar Town, The Middle and Modern Family for second seasons. No word on the fate of Conveyor Belt of Love, alas. [LAT]
• Who will replace Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 4? Take your pick! [LAT]
• Google may close its China operations over freedom of speech issues. [PC]
• "Just how bad was 2009 for magazines?" Pretty bad. [NYT]

So on last night's Bachelor we found out that Rozlyn slept with a producer of the show. *Gasp!* The show built it up to no end, as it does with everything. But the best part of this "bombshell?" The reactions!