· As chattered about yesterday, UTA agent Marty Bowen leaves the agency for a producing deal at New Line (with Davis Entertainment president Wyck Godfrey). Kudos to Var for apparently digging up Bowen's Godfrey's high school yearbook photo (at left—update: we obviously had no idea what either of them look like) to illustrate their story. Update: A more recent picture of Godfrey is here. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg will executive produce another Sci Fi Channel miniseries, this time about grieving people who find a way to reconnect with their departed loved ones via near-death experiences, Nine Lives. We still prefer to commune with the dead through Jennifer Love Hewitt's rack. [THR]
· Midseason Series DeathWatch: ABC will yank Emily's Reasons Why Not and Jake in Progress after just one airing to re-run the Bachelor season premiere on Monday, but the shows are "scheduled" to return on Jan. 23rd. You know, unless more compelling opportunities to replace Monday Night Football with reality show repeats present themselves. [Variety]
· West Coast exec VP Marc Graboff is promoted to West Coast president of NBC Universal TV. In related news, NBC president Kevin Reilly still has his job, for now. [THR]
· Like the desperate guy who starts calling a girl who just gave up the digits before she's even left the bar, Showtime sends out its Emmy screeners an unprecedented five months early. [Variety]
· In the New Line romantic comedy Bridge and Tunnel, Jennifer Lopez will star as a stock trader HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No, really! J Lo as a stock trader! Sorry, did we just lose our shit a little? Yes, we did. [Variety]

· Michael Eisner finally finds some meaning for his post-Disney existence, signing up to host a bi-monthly CNBC talk show, the aptly named Conversations with Michael Eisner. The network says the show "will focus on the importance of creativity and innovation in all pursuits, from business to politics to entertainment," but with an eye toward "wistfully reminiscing about Eisner's days as the most powerful man in Hollywood, which I—excuse us—he totally was." [Variety]
· Rosie O'Donnell is producing a sketch comedy show for MTV network Logo. Think Saturday Night Live, but you know, gay. And probably funnier. OK, maybe not. [THR]
· Relieved to have big bully Monday Night Football out of the way, Two and a Half Men beats up on the premiere of Emily's Reasons Why Not, which we predict (as we must) will be gone by early February. [Variety]
· EuroSlump '05: European movie ticket sales were down in 2005, though revenue still increased a bit. Who can we invade to halt the slide? [THR]
· The TV Academy may change its rules to define its comedy category to include only traditional sitcoms, leaving "dramedies" (and please, for the love of God, don't use the term "comerama") like Boston Legal and Desperate Housewives to get hammered in the drama contest by Lost at the Emmys. [Variety]

Lou Dobbs holds the secrets to ABC News.

Lost star Naveen Andrews was born to an Indian family and raised in South London; at age 16, he ran off with his math teacher, Geraldone Feakins, who bore him a child in 1992; heroin and alcohol addiction in his 20s nearly killed him, only to see the actor sober up, land on a hit American TV series, and live happily ever after with the much older love of his life, girlfriend Barbara Hershey. Andrews appeared to have finally found some stability in his life. Only, not so much:

· Pixar's stock price jumps on whispers of an imminent deal with Disney, but as of last night, Disney's people were mum about any progress. Such stalling can only mean one thing: Paramount is going to buy Pixar. [Variety]
· We hate to make snap judgments about a film project based on a few sentences in a trade paper story (OK, we don't hate it, that's what we do every day), but the pairing of John Travolta and Tim Allen in a sort-of City Slickers Meets The Hell's Angels flick sounds about as appealing as hitting oneself in the genitals with a red-hot monkey wrench. We have no idea why the wrench needs to be hot, other than a room-temperature tool didn't sound like it would do justice to the concept. [THR]
· Sharon Stone will be awarded the first Cinema for Peace Award for Social Responsibility during the Berlin Film Festival in February. We're not at all surprised. There was something in the way she masturbated in that bathtub in Sliver that let us know she'd one day be an important instrument for global change. [Variety]
· My Name is Earl does OK in its first Thursday showing, coming in third overall and second in the key demographic for its timeslot. The premiere of Four Kings wasn't a disaster, but the show should quickly settle into its role as the sacrificial lamb to the Must See sitcom gods so that Earl and The Office can continue to live on Thursdays. [THR]

After the unexpected success of the initial run of Dancing With the Stars this summer, the producers knew they would have to up the ante for the sophomore edition, and what better way than reviving a long-gone Beatle with a Weekend at Bernie's 2-inspired voodoo curse, a hex which forces the enchanted to waltz in the presence of music?

The Envelope's Oscar Beat blog is reporting that Jon Stewart is the Academy's Chosen One, and that an announcement heralding The Daily Show host's appointment as emcee of Hollywood's Most Self-Important Night will likely follow tomorrow. Stewart's selection was reportedly arrived at following a marathon sit-down between high-level Gay and Jewish Mafias officials in a secure basement conference room at David Geffen's Malibu compound; the fabulous faction stubbornly threw its support behind movie star/respected song-and-dance man Hugh Jackman for the gig, but after a personal audition by Jackman featuring a musical Brokeback Mountain parody fell flat, the Velvets finally acquiesced and gave their approval to the safer choice of the universally loved Stewart.

· The Producers Guild goes indie/specialty with its best film awards nominations, rounding up Brokeback, Capote, Crash, Good Night, and Good Luck, and Walk the Line. Did any of them actually see Crash? [Variety]
· And here come the Writers Guild nominations for best original screenplay: Cinderella Man, Crash, Good Night, and Good Luck, The Squid and the Whale, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin. We think our feelings about one of these nominees are clear by now, so we'll avoid beating that dead hor...oh, fuck it. Crash? Really now? [THR]
· Ted Koppel signs a Seacrestian (yeah, we went there) multi-year deal to produce documentaries and "town meetings" for The Discovery Channel, leaving jilted lover HBO to wistfully smell the helmet-shaped indentation on the pillow from their last romantic rendezvous. [Variety]
· ABC wins the Tuesday night ratings war with its coverage of the Orange Bowl, or as Variety likes to call it, the Fiesta Bowl. [THR, Variety]
· Warner Bros. and Fox celebrate winning 2005's box office, while DreamWorks and Sony cross their fingers for a less disastrous '06. [Variety]

It's interesting to watch the drunk driving arrests of Lost actresses Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros play themselves out, as a sort of good souse/bad souse pattern appears to be emerging, with Rodriguez taking on the role of dissident dipsomaniac to Watros' cool and contrite. At their recent arraignment hearing, Watros turns on the waterworks (through a worded statement read by her lawyer, of course) and gets a slap on the wrist; but "Four Strikes" Rodriguez isn't swerving away quite that easily:

An ABC publicity photo promoting their annual depressing-party-in-a-box, New Year's Rockin' Eve, is causing controversy for having Photoshopped in a smiling, fully upright, pre-stroke Dick Clark next to co-hosts Hilary Duff and Ryan Seacrest:

• Media observers make predictions for 2006, and prove that everyone — not just us — loves a good Radar punchline. [MB]
• Magazine editors make resolutions for 2006, and remind us that no one — not even us — is amused by a Blackberry joke. [WWD]
• Monday Night Football is dead. Long live Monday Night Football. [NYT]
• Bossman Nick is, apparently, a sexy geek. [Wired News]

· Sex and the City creator Darren Star signs a "2-for-1" pilot deal with ABC. Should his projects go to series, they should give the network a convenient place to dispose of any Housewives who get too uppity with their salary demands. [Variety]
· Ridley and Tony Scott promote David Zucker to head of TV at their Scott Free Productions following the success of CBS drama Numbers, which apparently is still on the air. Oh, excuse us: Numb3rs. [THR]
· Starting Monday, Nielsen will monitor DVR recording as part of their ratings report. Don't worry, their pilot program will measure only 60 homes to start, so you have plenty of time to erase that shameful season pass to Rodney and your "Ryan Seacrest" wishlist in a fit of paranoia. [Variety]
· Annals of stunt-casting: Christina Ricci will guest star in a "special" post-Super Bowl episode of Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, that's right, it's a slow news day. You wanna make something of it? [THR]
· Folsom Prison invites Fox to screen Walk the Line for its inmates. Joaquin Phoenix will attend, but having moved on from his Johnny Cash role, will probably decline an invitation to spend a month hanging out in the jail. [Variety]

With the season of holiday parties upon us, you may notice an increase in sobriety checkpoints on the road. Should you find yourself in the mortifying situation of being stopped after having had one too many, remain calm and cooperative. Alternately, you can choose the route Lost's Michelle Rodriguez opted for upon her recent DUI arrest angrily requesting to have the officer blow your brains out:

· ABC's Steve McPherson and CBS's Nina Tassler cram into their diving bells and explore the strange depths of the summertime alternative-programming ocean, a murky place which previously yielded creepy, luminescent creatures like Dancing with the Stars, and return with the same idea to run English-language "telenovelas" multiple times a week next summer. [Variety]
· The large picture of Tom Freston front-and-center on THR's homepage is seriously freaking us out. Make it stop! He's supposed to be the laid back Viacom president, not the creepy, intense one! [THR]
· The Writers Guild has fallen in love with NBC's soon-to-be new Thursday night comedy lineup, giving The Office and My Name Is Earl three nominations apiece for the WGA Awards. [Variety]
· MPAA head pirate hunter Dan Glickman is "encouraged" by the Chinese government's raid of black market DVD shops in Beijing, but urges them to continue their anti-piracy progress by "running over the fuckers with a tank next time." [THR]
· Fox signs a three-year first-look production deal with the producers of Wedding Crashers, Tapestry Films. Fun fact we didn't know: They also produced 15 Olsen twin movies. [Variety]

· Var reports on yesterday's New Line layoffs (two dozen let go just in time for the holidays!), but says "no top execs were axed." We've heard that VPs Matt Moore and George Waud were among the purged, who many tell us should qualify as "top level execs." Developing... [Variety]
· Potentially great news for Arrested Development fans: Though FOX hasn't "officially" canceled AD yet, there are "serious" talks between 20th Century Fox TV and Showtime and ABC to find the series a new model home. We've heard rumblings (there we go hearing things again) that the Showtime deal might be close to completion, but we've been hurt before. [Variety, THR]
· The grown-up sons of Tito Jackson are shopping around a reality series in which they try to recapture the musical semi-fame of their youth. No further commentary necessary. [THR]
· Jamie Foxx will star in adaptation of James Stetson novel Blood on the Leaves for Paramount, as a "district attorney who grapples with feelings of revenge as he prosecutes a black history professor on trial for the murders of white men accused of crimes against blacks during the civil rights movement," Sadly, it looks like Foxx's vaunted musical skills will go unutilized in the role. [Variety]
· Disney's first attempt to tap into the Chinese entertainment market involves unraveling the secrets of a magic gourd. [THR]
· Now officially famous for becoming the new James Bond, Daniel Craig signs over ten percent of his soul to CAA. [Variety]

It's hard not to feel a little sorry for crapulent, lead-footed Lost star Michelle Rodriguez. She gets popped for one teensy little DUI (OK, it wasn't exactly her first) and now all of her vehicular peccadillos become instant headlines. It's merely speeding tickets today, but we shudder to think about what the sensationalist media will do the next time she has a couple of wrap party mai tais, coincidentally sideswipes a wild boar on the way home (hey, since when do feral pigs wear grass skirts and leis?), and in the ensuing post-traumatic panic, tries to drive her car from Oahu to L.A.

Three reports from last night's Media Christmas celebrations.

· Controversy-courting ABC TV movie exec Quinn Taylor defends their Mel Gibson-produced Holocaust project: "A lot of people don't know much about the Holocaust... Maybe Mel Gibson and (Con Artists') involvement will attract people who wouldn't otherwise watch." You know, like Gibson's Holocaust-denying dad! [Variety]
· Director James Cameron seeks acrobatic jailbait (think Dark Angel's Jessica Alba, but not safe to perv on) for Battle Angel, his huge post-Titanic project. [THR]
· Wily NBC quietly bides its time until the the lucrative sweeps period is over, senses an opening, then sprints past its complacent network competitors to a Tuesday night ratings win. [Variety]
· The government uncovers Hollywood's latest and most nefarious plan to destroy our Nation, this time by using adorable stars to turn America's children into junk-food craving, morbidly obese zombies. [THR]
· Having developed a taste for tiny men with gigantic egos from starring in Woody Allen's Match Point, Scarlett Johansson signs on to star in Napoleon-in-exile love story Napoleon and Betsy. [Variety]

If a major broadcast network were to undertake a miniseries about a sensitive subject like, say, the Holocaust, you would assume that if they partnered up with the son of a notorious Holocaust denier (and who also directed Passion of the Christ, a film that many considered anti-Semitic), they'd be doing so for a compelling and principled reason, right? So tell us, ABC, what was the high-minded explanation for Mel Gibson's potentially explosive involvement in such a project?

For the second straight year, The Hollywood Reporter has named Anne Sweeney, co-chairman of Disney's media networks and president of the Disney-ABC Television Group (take a breath), the Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood.* (We'd do the THR one better and declare her Most Powerful Woman in the Universe, but we've long posited the existence of a planet populated entirely by a super-race of female entertainment executives, who dispatch their weaker citizens to Earth to run things until the eventual invasion.) As a reward for Sweeney's ability to keep the heel of her Manolo Blahniks firmly on the throats of power-list competition for the past 12 months, like MTV's Judy McGrath, Universal's Stacey Snider, and Sony's Amy "Can We Just Forget About 2005, Please?" Pascal, she's apparently been rewarded with a sassy new head shot on the Reporter's website (and reproduced here). Congratulations, and fingers crossed for the dynasty-solidifying threepeat!