It appears that John McCain's endless droning was enough to make America's most famous general, David Petraeus, ill during a Senate hearing on Afghanistan today. Petraeus briefly fainted, blaming it on dehydration. McCain's expression is priceless! Is this guy soft?

The Way We Live Now: Rejoicing, for we are saved. Untold riches have been deposited under our very feet by god Himself! Now if god can just fix up every other fucking thing that's shot to hell, we'll be...better.

NATO says a helicopter has crashed in Afghanistan after taking ground fire.

Al Qaeda's third-in-command, Mustafa Abu Yazid, has died. Maybe. According to ABC, al Qaeda released a believed-to-be-genuine eulogy for "the group's chief operating officer." It seems he was killed in a drone strike in Pakistan.

Horst Köhler, Germany's center-right president, resigned after pointing out that Germany will deploy troops to protect its economic interests.

Yesterday's suicide car bombing in Kabul pushed the US military casualty count in Afghanistan past one thousand. Pictured is one: Zarian Wood, killed by a bomb last Sunday at the age of 29. [A list of the dead. Pic: FB.]

A mysterious fungus is wreaking havoc on Afghanistan's opium poppies, which account for 92% of the world's supply. Local farmers blame the US military and NATO after a white substance appeared on their crops. The United Nations blames nature.

This awesome remake of Lady Gaga's Telephone (on location in Afghanistan) brings new meaning to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I mean, just look at the choreography! Come home safe, boys, but more importantly: work it!

What is the loneliest place in the world to be a Jew? A KKK rally? The NFL? Nebraska? Nope! Afghanistan is the loneliest place for a Jew, because there is only one left: Former carpet salesman Zablon Simintov.

In a dusty storeroom in Afghanistan, seven soldiers stand in formation. Lady Gaga is on the sound system. They dance. Videos like these from the frontline are a far cry from candid camera hazing rituals that usually grab the spotlight.

Yesterday we met a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers who, in their free time in Afghanistan, remade Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video, with glorious results. Today, The Smoking Gun introduces us to the lip-syncing stars of the 82nd Airborne Division. [TSG]

The New York Times published a piece about the military and Powerpoint tonight. The best part was this slide used by Military planners to show the complexity of counter-insurgency efforts in Afghanistan. Time to retreat! (Click to enlarge.) [NYT]

America has given so much to the people of Afghanistan.Our latest gift: modern military propaganda. The military's new Afghan ad campaign is in favor of soldiers, but against suicide bombers. Click through for one more democracy-engendering ad, via Ad Age.

An American military doctor recently removed 2.5-inch, unexploded round of 14.5mm ammunition was lodged into the brain of an Afghan National Army soldier in an operating room secured by a bomb squad. These are the pictures. Click to enlarge.

You know that disturbing video of U.S. helicopters shooting civilians and journalists in Iraq leaked by Wikileaks? Turns out the Pentagon couldn't have released it even if they wanted to. They have no idea where their copy is.

Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai fixed the recent presidential elections, and now he is blaming the UN for doing that. He is also threatening to join the Taliban and generally being kinda nutty. Diplomat Peter Galbraith says he is on drugs!

If the U.S. is in fact spying on the secret-sharing website Wikileaks.org, it is related to their possession of a classified video of a U.S. air strike in Afghanistan. They will screen this video Monday. What will it show?

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart took a few minutes to comment on how, immediately following the passage of the health care reform bill, President Obama's balls grew three sizes that day—and hilariously reviewed his post-victory actions.

The president, perhaps hoping he can force a healthcare-esque victory-against-the-odds by just showing up, made an unannounced visit to Afghanistan today. It was his first since taking office. It comes on the same day the AP release their investigation into a mysterious CIA-linked death at a US compound in Kabul.

Wikileaks.org is a website legendary in certain circles for posting documents people want hidden from the world. The Pentagon is not a fan. Now, Wikileaks is accusing the U.S. of spying on its editors.