Afghanistan never charts particularly highly on any lifestyle magazines' annual "Best Countries in the World For Jews" lists. But who knew it's come to this? According to a Report on International Religious Freedom from the U.S. State Department, the number of Jews currently residing in Afghanistan amounts to one (1) Jew.
Because we've been in a low-grade one, it appears, for years. Now that Adm. Mike Mullen has publicly accused Pakistan's intelligence agency of helping attack the U.S. embassy in Kabul, stories of heretofore secret Pakistani malfeasance are starting to leak out. It's almost like someone wants to start a war or something.
Ever wonder what The Office would look like if it were transplanted to Kabul? Here's the trailer for The Ministry, which will soon premiere on Afghanistan's largest television network, Tolo TV. A mockumentary-style sitcom about employees at the country's Ministry of Garbage—there's a "sleepy security guard, underappreciated butler, man-hating secretary, and bumbling Minister"—the office environment is just like Dunder Mifflin. Except with a lot more government corruption and drug trafficking. [via WaPo]
No one is safe from phone hacking these days, not even the mouthpiece of one-eyed, bearded bogeyman Mullah Omar. The following message was sent out early today from the phone of a Taliban spokesman, Zabihullah Mujahid:
On Monday, we brought you the heartwarming story of Sgt. Scott Moore, a US Marine stationed in Afghanistan who posted a no-frills YouTube invitation to Mila Kunis, asking her to join him as his date to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball (held November 12 at the Gaylord Resort and Convention Center in Maryland). Her Friends With Benefits costar Justin Timberlake convinced her to say yes during a live interview, and word quickly trickled back to Moore. The Corps has now sent out an official interview, in which Moore reacts to the exciting news that he's now just a couple bases short of catching up with Natalie Portman:
It's a good day to be an enterprising heroin dealer in southern Afghanistan. Ahmed Wali Karzai, half-brother of President Hamid Karzai, was shot and killed by a family bodyguard at his home in Kandahar, where he was the chief of the provincial council. The deceased is said to have been the owner of truckloads of heroin over the years, but to be fair, in a 2008 interview with the New York Times he said, "I am not a drug dealer, I never was and I never will be." So take that for what's it worth?
Taliban suicide bombers rushed into a "Western-style" hotel in Kabul Tuesday night, and at least one has blown himself up at the entrance. Details are hazy, but ABC reports that at least "four explosions have been heard and gunfire continues." Police estimate that there are up to six bombers and gunmen. The Intercontinental is apparently a venue of choice for many visiting foreigners — dignitaries, reporters, businesspeople, and other types that the Taliban does not care for.
Last night, President Obama preempted regular programming so that we could all hear him talk about his plan to bring back 30,000 troops from Afghanistan by the end of next summer. But as Jon Stewart pointed out on tonight's Daily Show, people on both sides of the issue were disappointed with the budding Obama Doctrine.
President Obama plans to give a White House address tomorrow night regarding his future plans for the Afghanistan war. What will the troop drawdown be? 10,000? 30,000? Two soldiers and a dog?
Two days after Osama Bin Laden was killed by U.S. forces, he remains dead. (As far as we know.) A photo is likely forthcoming, as U.S. intelligence pores over Osama's hard drive.
Senator Scott Brown has requested to do his training as a Massachusetts National Guard Lieutenant Colonel in Afghanistan this year, to help him "better understand our ongoing mission in that country." This guy is such a showoff.
If you're going to do jail time in Afghanistan the prison in Kandahar is probably your best bet. Because as long as you can withstand some (alleged!) torture, you might get a reduced sentence before you even know it. Al Jazeera reports that around 500 men escaped from the prison last night and this morning through a 350-meters-long tunnel. A Taliban spokesman told the Times that 541 escapees were a mix of commanders and fighters, and that "they are all in safe havens."
In July 2004, as the Iraq War spiraled out of control, Donald Rumsfeld ordered a staffer to draw up a "What Did Not Happen?" memo—a list of potential bad outcomes that had been avoided—to make himself feel better. Things could be worse, right?
Several U.N. workers were killed Friday in the northern Afghan city of Mazar-i-Sharif. Reports indicate that a demonstration against the burning of a Quran by American pastors turned violent. There are conflicting reports about the number of people killed, and a U.N. spokesperson has issued a statement confirming the attack, while calling the incident "still confusing."
