Megan Fox reassures the world that she is neither robot nor android. Underlings must "turn their faces to a wall" when Madonna walks by. Jane Lynch started smoking at the age of 12. Demi Moore tweets a "topless" picture. Tuesday gossip is practicing human emotions.

An inebriated Ashlee begs Pete to take her back. Mariah Carey's kids have diamond-encrusted diaper pins. Minka and Jeter break up. Emma Watson moves in with a lover, and so does Pippa Middleton, and so does Alec Baldwin. Friday gossip splits the rent.

Now you can own the very pot Alec Baldwin refuses to shit or get off of. The 30 Rock star is unloading his 3,000 square-foot apartment in the El Dorado on Central Park West. Asking price? $9,500,000.

Alec Baldwin is not running for mayor of New York. But he might in the future. God, this guy needs to make up his mind. He's running for Congress, then he's not running for Congress. He's interested in running for office and then he's running for mayor, and now he's not. We don't care anymore.

In your Molotov-y Tuesday media column: London is unsafe for journalists, Alec Baldwin likes newspapers, Time magazine is beating the piss out of Newsweek, News of the World staffers get severance offers, KING magazine remembered, and scientists vs. journalists.

Emma Watson is spotted kissing her costar. Charlie Sheen is going to die in a "meat explosion." Larry David is more popular with the ladies than Alexander Skarsgard. Sunday gossip doesn't care about its $2 trillion error.

Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.

"I only want him to stay out of my business for the next 935 days. For the record, I do not plan to go into his business." — Mayor Michael Bloomberg discussing Alec Baldwin's potential run for mayor.

Now that suspected candidate Anthony Weiner won't be running for mayor of New York (for obvious reasons), rumors are swirling that Alec Baldwin is going to throw his hat in the ring. Is he really gonna run this time?

First the cowboys, and now the dinosaurs. Well, actually the dinosaurs probably came first, timeline was. But whatever. The aliens are coming for 'em, and a big movie is in the works! Also today: Alec Baldwin does something smart, Al Pacino does something dumb, and, of course, Hunger Games.

Those masterminds at 30 Rock decided that they were going to make some internet cartoons to spice things up a bit, and naturally they enlisted their favorite news anchor toy Brian Williams to help out.

After a long time away, the one-time celestial teen queen of broadcast television is returning to the small screen. Also today: We might, coincidentally, have a new Juliet; a cult favorite cartoon gets a second season; and, no folks, 30 Rock is not dying. Probably.

A cast member says it's on its way out next year, but other people say it's not. Who to believe?? Also today: Snow White might have finally found her huntsman, the next Batman movie heads to the big PA, and we have to talk about Hunger Games.

Steve Martin isn't the only big star on David Letterman's Late Show this evening—Alec Baldwin's in the audience! Or was in the audience, that is. You see, once Baldwin found out Martin was on, too, he split.

Alec Baldwin has penned a long column for the Huffington Post about what Charlie Sheen should do instead of filing his crazy $100 million lawsuit against Warner Brothers.

On tonight's 30 Rock, Liz Lemon came into the TGS writer's room with an announcement: she was absolutely *fine* following her breakup with Carol. So fine, in fact, that she'd adopted a cat—Emily Dickinson—and a fanny pack!

Calvin Klein's porn star boyfriend's 21st birthday bash took place last week, but Michael Musto got his hands on some photos. Donna Karan, Anna Wintour, Alec Baldwin, and Daphne Guinness all stopped by. They must really love Calvin!

From the winners to the losers, the "I'm an Actor!" introductions to the weird moments we just had to share with you, here's our video recap of last night's Screen Actor Guild Awards.

On tonight's 30 Rock, Jack had a brilliant idea: pre-record a celebrity-studded benefit for the victims of a natural disaster so that NBC would have a timely exclusive once the disaster actually happened. How'd it go down? Find out inside.

Barefoot Contessa star Ina Garten is a Gawker.TV favorite—remember?—and my personal hero. On yesterday's episode, Garten held a luncheon for some women who donated $100,000 to charity to eat her food. Oh, yeah—Alec Baldwin did the shopping.