Todd offered Bristol a new ride to get her to dump Levi, Spencer Pratt is the "King of Weed," Paris Hilton thinks that The Hills is "so lame and fake," Kate Hudson is traveling with the Yankees to bone A-Rod, and Susan Boyle may be institutionalized very shortly.

Paris Hilton's neighbor offered her landlord money to throw her ass into the street, Mel Gibson has definitely knocked up his Russian girlfriend/mistress, and A-Rod is boning romantic comedy actress Kate Hudson.