The fun just never ends on The Today Show, no matter how much you pray to your pathetic "gods." Here, Al Roker makes an inexplicable joke about Tiki Barber padding his crotch and makes Matt kinda uncomfortable. Thankfully, he spares Ann Curry the indignity of having her name mentioned in the same breath as genital sheaths, except he doesn't. Then we have "some serious news to get to."
29-year-old debut novelist Porochista Khakpour had her book party last night at her friend Sarma Melngailis's raw food restaurant, Pure Food and Wine. It was also Sarma's 35th birthday, so the party contained an oddly wonderful mix of raw food-loving celebs—Carol Alt! Ann ... Curry?—and literary types. Laurel Ptak took the glamourshots.
On the "Today Show,", T.V. hostessess Ann Curry was forced to revisit a girl who had hiccups for like five weeks, because it is August and apparently there is nothing to put on the T.V. about Iraq or bridges falling down or quarterbacks named Michael Vick who kill puppies. But the best part is when the girl starts crying and Ann Curry clearly wants to die or cut her own face off to get away from the horrid display.
There was a scintillating "Today Show" tutorial this morning about coffee: How to buy it, how to make it, how to drink it, etc. Throughout the entire segment newsreader Ann Curry vehemently disagreed with the guest expert, rolling her eyes and sighing like Al Gore in a presidential debate. Ann takes her coffee seriously. As does everyone who has to watch her. Here's the last drop.
The Go Fug Yourself girls have snagged a photo of Ann Curry's Cher costume, and what a costume it was:
• Actress Kate Hudson didn't separate from Black Crowe husband Chris Robinson because he's a crunchy dirtman and she's, well, Kate Hudson. Us Weekly reports that Hudson's affair with Owen Wilson led to the split — once you climb on the Stallion, there's no climbing off. [Us Weekly]
• Damn the man: the IRS pushes to tax celebrity swag bags. [TMZ]
• Africa is hot! Rapper Eve ends her relationship with the son of the president of Equatorial Guinea, where citizens live on $1 a day, at the urging of Sunday Styles. [R&M]
• Blind item guessing game: "Which major magazine executive probably isn't hungry when he goes home to his wife, since he's having Chinese at the office??" Send in your guesses if you've got 'em. [Gatecrasher (last item)]
• 57-year-old actor Bruno Kirby died yesterday. He had been recently diagnosed with leukemia. Honor him tonight by ordering the Shrek doll episode of Entourage on HBO On Demand. [People]
• After 63 years of ongoing renevations to her W. 71st Street townhouse, Ann Curry's neighbors are suing her for over $900,000 because of the constant noise and disruption. Does that mean we can sue NBC? Because whenever Curry is on the screen, we feel a little disrupted, too. [Page Six]
• Justin Timberlake isn't signing up for the Soul Patrol anytime soon. [Scoop]
• Joey Buttafuoco shops a book proposal. Written in crayon. [Page Six]
(This morning, around 9:50 a.m.)
A University of Oregon alumnus — here! in the big city! in our very midst! — attended an alumni event the other night at which Today newsgal Ann Curry, a fellow Duck, spoke, and he presents a very good case for why little Annie didn't get the big chair when Katie decided to take her colon over to CBS:
• Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson issue the standard denial in response to yesterday's celebrity weekly bukkake over their break-up; Us Weekly stands by their report. Perhaps the denial has something to do with that exclusive contract Simpson signed with OK!, which apparently guarantees the mag exclusive rights to all Simpson coverage. As if anyone's going to care once OK! "breaks" this story. [Page Six]
• Madonna is reportedly trying to convince Oprah Winfrey to convert to Kabbalah. If, God forbid, this happens, it's only a few short episodes of Oprah until the entire world has fallen under the red-string spell. [R&M]
• Bespectacled hostess Georgette Mosbacher agrees to throw the book party for Michael Gross's 740 Park, which exposes the inner-workings of the absurdly wealthy cattery. Naturally, Morsbachers socialite friends are horrified, just horrified. [Lowdown]
• Kevin Federline is a fantastic baby daddy but, it seems, a decidedly less-than-fantastic daddy. We're sure once he leaves Britney, he'll be much better to the little Federletus. [Scoop]
• Everyone on West 71st Street hates their neighbor, Today co-host Ann Curry. And you thought that on-camera schtick was just a persona. [Page Six]
The Today show just ran an utterly original segment on the "girl crush" zeitgeist, complete with footage from Sixteen Candles and Single White Female. While we watched Matt Lauer and Ann Curry awkwardly discuss the "trend" with Best Week Ever's Rachel Harris and New York mag's Sarah Bernard, we thought of the media saturation timeline of girl crushes:
God forbid you fail to turn on the Today show IMMEDIATELY every single morning, lest you miss a single, priceless second of co-host Ann Curry's pinched performances. A reader writes:
• The West 71st Street neighbors of the Today show's Ann Curry are complaining that careless construction and renovations to her townhouse are endangering and inconveniencing the entire block. Good to know that Curry's just as annoying off-camera, too. [Page Six]
• Gwen Stefani refuses to attend MTV's Video Music Awards in Miami, reportedly because the network didn't ask her to perform. Now we'll never get to see Gwen wear her special drum-majorette-styled, japanese jock-strapped lederhosen. [R&M]
• Are Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake having trouble in paradise? And are they too beautiful, yet tragically stupid, to work it out? [Scoop]
• Despite yesterday's reports to the contrary, Sylvester Stallone insists that his AMI magazine Sly is not on its deathbed. In fact, says Stallone, Gwen Stefani wants to do the next cover (now that she's not too busy with MTV), and he's nothing like Rosie O'Donnell, and the sales are just fine, and he's not being defensive, okay?! [Page Six]
