From Page Six today:

• American Media Inc. publisher David Pecker has been shelling out some hefty amounts of cash to suppress any negative coverage of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had signed on executive editor of AMI's muscle mags. Good thing tabloids or politicians don't really depend on ethics, or else this just might be scandalous. [Page Six]
• Hip-hop mogul Damon Dash complains about overexposure and Vogue editor Anna Wintour skips a day at the tents in favor of the U.S. Open? HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?! [Lowdown]
• And, predictably, the crunchy furries at PETA have directed their ire towards the fur-bedecked Vogue queen. Golly, it must be Hate Anna Week. Someone should have told us. [R&M]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Baby Phat designer and medicinal marijuana activist Kimora Lee Simmons behaved like an "ogre" backstage at her Saturday night runway show. [Page Six]
• Pussy-loving actor Elijah Wood adores the Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay website as much as we do! For once, we are actually proud of a celebrity. [Scoop]

Yes, we've been to a few fashion shows, so we do know that the wait for the first rawboned orphan to come stomping down the runway can be somewhat interminable. But is it really so bad that Vogue editor Anna Wintour's daughter, the friendly looking Bee Schaffer, had to drag along her 7-pound copy of The Iliad? We're appalled Wintour would even let someone of her bloodline be seen with such a thing; intelligence is such an unattractive accessory. Bee could have at least found a nice fur trim for the book, something to make it a bit less ghastly. Tsk, tsk.

Vogue editor Anna Wintour and her latest houseboy, Men's Vogue editor Jay Fielden, descended upon Matt Lauer this morning for a little chit-chat about Men's Vogue. After clarifying that gay men are really what industry insiders call "fashion customers," Anna Wintour lobbed the ball over to Fielden, whose mouth moved so very little while speaking that we'd wager he may have had his jaw wired shut (which would explain his trim figure). We can't really defend this comment, but he really just seemed like an asshole. But more importantly, Fielden was so clearly terrified — not of being on tv, but of Wintour — that, from here on out, Men's Vogue shall now be referred to as Little Bitch's Vogue.

Just in time for Fashion Week, Anna Wintour sports the must-have accessory for fall: A big, fat boo-boo, stylishly worn on her arm after falling down at the U.S. Open.

Well, yes, the new Vogue is big. And it really weighs 4 pounds. But, er, it doesn't actually put last year's to shame.

Weighing in at a hefty 4.0 lbs and with almost 691 pages of adverwhoring, this year's September Vogue has just made you its bitch. And frankly, in terms of the always-important weight issue, this beast makes the 2004 edition look like a total pussy.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie not included. (Click to enlarge.)

• 7-Eleven, which theoretically never closes, has closed on Park Avenue South. Till at least Thursday. [Manhattan Offender via Curbed]
• Sure, Hell's Kitchen is gentrifying. If you don't count the public shitters. [ToTC]
• Never mind Jesus. What would Anna Wintour do? [Ambigutrex]
• The new BBC show from The Office creator Ricky Gervais is out, and Andrew Hearst both likes it and shows you where and how to torrent it. [Panopticist]
• Times TV critic Alessandra Stanley has no idea what she's talking about. [Radosh.net]

Possible causes of death:
1. Pics of Catherine Zeta-Jones pregnant, naked and smoking. (Cannot read file, as file has been removed under threat of litigation.)
2. Anna Wintour spotted in the Pentium processor.
3. Naked pics of Paris Hilton (Overheating.)
[Ed. noteIf you emailed me anything important recently, please resend to tips@gawker.com]

1. Hear Lauren Weisberger read from The Devil Wears Prada. (No Anna Wintour sightings there.)
2. See John Newman's "Monkey Wrenches and Household Saints" exhibit at the Von Lintel Gallery. (Opens today, 6-8PM.)
3. Catch a preview of the surefire hit production of O'Neill's Long Day�s Journey Into Night, starring Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Dennehy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Robert Sean Leonard.

Scene from departing GQ editor Art Cooper's farewell last night: Vogue editor Anna Wintour arrives with Ralph Lauren. A spy writes, "Cooper made a big point to thank his secretary. He said he hopes her upcoming bio'The Devil Wears Blue Label'is a big success. Everyone turned around to watch Anna's reaction...there was none." An unrelated Anna moment, from another reader: "Discussing unrealistic images in women's magazines with Janeane Garofalo on 'the View' this morning, Joy Behar called Anna Wintour a 'war
criminal.'"

I'm extremely fashion-impaired, so I can't really tell, but Linda Evangelista's dress (right) from the Frick ball earlier this year looks very similar to Vogue editor Anna Wintour's dress below. Isn't that supposed to be a big fashion faux pas? And how many St. Bernards had to die for that jacket?
East side stories [Style.com]

At last night's fashion extravaglamzathe Met's Costume Institute galaVogue editor Anna Wintour informed reporters that she was wearing a Dior gown"with two horns and a tail." Guess she does have something remotely resembling a sense of humor.
At Met gala, goddesses just want to have fun [NYT]

A reader writes in to agree that there should be fewer postings about Vogue editor Anna Wintour, buuuuuut...before you stop posting them there's this one little thing: "at Rhone for dinner the other night (conveniently located next to Florent, in the likely event you're still hungry when you leave), a non-Conde Nast editor speculated that, if she Anna wasn't so mean to the people around her, *someone* might quietly suggest she might show off the gowns better if she moisturized her back a bit. Asked if she meant 'reptilian,' she replied, 'well, scaly, at least.' Note to publicists: Drop some Kiehl's in your next Anna gift basket. She also said, 'When Anna kills you, you're deader than dead.'"

· Paris Hilton's entrance to a party at her parents' house: "Paris and [friend] Nicole [Richie] arrived in a helicopter on the lawn. Paris was with her 'abused' dog Tinkerbell and they were wearing matching Chanel outifts. Paris even made Tinkerbell wear tiny little Chanel shoes. Tinkerbell looked like she was in hell." [Page Six]
· From an email to the Junior International Club (association for young socialites) mailing list: "[we've] decided there is not a party for people of our social set to enjoy. And at any time it is attempted, the party is ruined by individuals from the nether-regions (read: anywhere other than Manhattan). So we have formed a committee to benefit the rotting of our livers. It is to be a roaming party that will occur on a non-regular basis (read: whenever it strikes our fancy)" [Page Six]
· Potential Anna sighting: "Julianne Moore, Julia Stiles, Rosie Perez, Annabella Sciorra, Stephanie March and Anna Wintour will be among guests attending Cartier's celebration of Le Baiser du Dragon, a collection of Chinese-inspired jewels, tomorrow at 6:30 p.m., at the Cartier Mansion on Fifth Ave." [NY Daily News]

A reader writes, "About 5 or 6 years ago a buddy of mine received a hand delivered invitation to a party in honor of the release of Richard Gere's Tibetan photo journal book. The true recipient of the invitation had just moved out of the office my friend was leasing. I said we should go- so we RSVP'ed using the schmucks name and the two of us set out to crash. As we walked over to the address we realized it was someone's private home! (just above Houston). As we made it through the first checkpoint my buddy poked me and said 'you idiot! this is [Vogue Editor] Anna Wintour's home!' but we pressed on through the foyer (I passed Richard Gere himself who nodded to me like he knew me?) As we walked to the main reception area there stood AW in all her skinny-ass glory. She took one look at us and I realized that there were probably less than 30 people invited to this party and they were all personal friends. We were toast! They threw us out in about 30 seconds. HAHAHAHAHA. I never even got my lips around a Cosmo or a Chicken Satay!"

A reader reports from a Fischerspooner concert in Seattle, which sounds pretty much identical to Fischerspooner in New York: "My take on the Fischerspooner show in seattle. And yes, I saw the trend nerd in fake Gucci sunglasses and fake "i fucked anna wintour" t-shirt.

Let me preface this by saying that we don't get a lot of hate mail. (Yes, I know. We're more surprised than you are.) And when we do get hate mail, I have a masochistic tendency to publish most of it.

It has been suggested that we attempt to attach a homing device to [Vogue Editor] Anna Wintour. Any volunteers?
· "One day sometime back, I'm standing in the lobby elevator bank, worrying about who I'll run into, when in swoops Ms. Wintour following by a panting guy in a dark suit — her driver. The guard pushes a button and the gates to the castle just open for her. No ID card for Ms. Wintour! The panting driver hands two or three parcels to the guard at the gate. 'Have someone bring that up to me,' Ms. Wintour commands as she swoops onto her waiting carriage.
The guard bows in assent. The driver walks away, relieved."
· "a few years ago, when I was freelancing at 350 mad. i was on a roll and riding the elevator with AW many times over several weeks. ONe time she sneered at my 'ann taylor" shopping bag. My friend...invented a great scenario we would always riff on about how anna would slip in the crack between the elevator and the floor and slide down all those floors with only her sunglasses to catch and slow her down."