It's been evident for more than a year now that "for profit colleges"—which is to say, "shitty colleges which exist only to make money and which run a lot of advertisements and which you would never ever recommend to a true friend"—are on the decline, after years of virtually minting money. Enrollment is down across the board. Last week, the University of Phoenix announced it's shutting down half of its physical locations. Could this be... real progress?

Politico's Mike Allen got his hands a copy of Rolling Stone's upcoming cover story, Douglas Brinkley's "Obama and the Road Ahead," and pulled out this gem of a quote:

There's some sort of lawsuit going on between Britney Spears and her ex-manager, Sam Lufti. Who can even know what it's about, but Lufti sure is throwing some crazy shit out there. First, he testified that Britney was probably smoking crystal meth. Then he claimed she shaved her head to avoid a drug test. Now he's saying Britney's father, Jamie Spears, once chased him around a kitchen, yelling and spitting, and later punched him in the stomach.

Dita Von Teese, the only burlesque queen that your mom knows by name, is currently plugging her new beauty book. In an 2600 word interview with beauty site Into The Gloss, she runs through her makeup routine in heavy detail. She also briefly talks about how she and ex-husband Marilyn Manson used to dye their hair black together, which really just warms your little black heart.

A photo of a young looking Mitt Romney with Marcus Bachmann-like limp wrists is making the rounds on Twitter and Tumblr. Even Paula Froelich got in on it today. Look at those teen bullies laugh!

Professional birther troll and ugly haired human, Donald Trump has been parading around this week alleging that he had a bombshell so big that it was "bordering on gigantic." A story so big that it would "possibly" change the state of the election. "Possibly," everybody.

The music world was thrown into upheaval yesterday at news that singer-songwriter-British-Army-captain James Blunt had quit the business and would no longer be performing that one song of his that was everywhere a few years ago.

To close a prison is a good thing, assuming that the prison is being closed for lack of prisoners to fill it, because prison is a horrific (if sometimes necessary) institution, and the intelligent minimization of the number of our fellow citizens who have to be locked in prison is an intrinsic good. So why are people so opposed to closing down a prison in their own community?

I see all these people out here talking about how the presidential election this year "now appears to be a dead heat." Yeah right. You go right on ahead with that, Sherlock. Feed that one into the computer, good plan.

Felix Baumgartner sat down with Savannah Guthrie on the Today Show this morning to premier some new footage from his record-breaking free fall, filmed with a helmet camera for a National Geographic documentary. He told Guthrie that he has hung up his Red Bull™ Balloon and is retiring. "I've had enough," he told her. "I've done it all."

Last March, Goldman Sachs VP Greg Smith quit his job in spectacular fashion—with a New York Times op-ed decrying the erosion of the firm's moral culture into a "toxic and destructive" state. Now, Greg Smith has a book coming out. He was on 60 Minutes last night. He has become, in mere months, the world's most famous insider critic of the go-go culture of Wall Street's biggest banks.

"It's extraordinary. We only see this in TV movies," veterinarian Philippe Michon exclaimed, describing the incredible survival story of Ethan — a Jack Russell terrier poisoned and left for dead inside a shallow grave.

Proving once again that close access to politicians doesn't result in favoritism or any other blurring of professional responsibility, members of the media covering the Romney campaign played a fun little game of flag football with Romney's staff on Sunday. Such fun! Many hilarious jokes were made.

A recent post on the New York Times Campaign Stops blog discusses all sorts of Google search-related political factoids. The point of the analysis is, for the Times' purpose, to act as a predictor (or, the article's title puts it, a "crystal ball") for the election. But it also offers up important information about how often people do things like search for topless photos of Paul Ryan, or, on the more depressing end of the spectrum, how often people searched for "Obama" in conjunction with "KKK." Here are some of more interesting searches:

Would you rather look at seven Instagram photos from Rihanna's Instagram feed or read a recent 7,340-word Vogue profile about how cool, hot and fashionable she is? Frankly, as a devout follower of miss badgalriri, I'd opt for the former. So, here is some advice: Do not read this Vogue profile—just look at these seven photos, and you will learn everything you would've (and more!) about your favorite coconut water spokesperson.

Continuing a fall from grace so epic that it rivals the span of, say, the Tour de France, ex-Nike bestie Lance Armstrong is now facing charges of bribery, in addition to allegations that he ran a doping ring among fellow cyclists. If you have not already set fire to your copy of It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life, feel free to do so now.

Way back during the Republican primaries, presidential candidate and creepy son-maker Mitt Romney once famously declared his love for firing people. Today, a report from the New York Times clarifies Romney's definition of fireable people as anyone who he has not worked with closely (i.e. played at least one round of golf with).

Take shelter, Baton Rouge, Louisiana: Nicolas Cage — whose impressive résumé includes such masterpieces as National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets and Ghost Rider — is coming to town.

As noted Ping Pong star and former Goldman Sachs executive director Greg Smith preps to release his tell-all Wall Street memoir, Why I Left Goldman Sachs, this Monday, the company's PR team has compiled a list of talking points to be used on first dates, PTA meetings, and cocktail parties.

Forbes has released its annual list of the ten most dangerous cities in the U.S. Check to see if you live in one of them! And if you are currently being mugged, then you definitely live in one of them.