The 52-foot "Big Tex" statue that has welcomed visitors to the State Fair of Texas with a booming, "Howdy, folks!" for the past 60 years was completely destroyed in a terrifying burst of flames today.

One of Lebanon's senior security officials, Brig. Gen. Wissam al-Hassan, was killed along with seven others this morning in a massive explosion in an affluent section of Beirut. According to the New York Times, the explosion—the origin of which is still unclear—overturned cars and shattered windows for blocks. To judge from the pictures, the death toll is likely to rise.

Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) said during his final debate against Democratic rival Tammy Duckworth that he opposes all abortions "without exception," even if the mother's life is said to be at risk.

Most voters may have already put Paul Ryan's faker-than-usual soup kitchen photo op in their rearview, but the charity that runs the hunger relief center says it is still dealing with the financial ramifications of "Dishwatergate."

Fidel Castro death rumors are like the Nigerian e-mail scam of the news cycle — they've been around forever and are never going away. So here we are: according to the Miami Herald, is Castro "very close to a neurovegetative state" — not quite dead, but close:

Doctors in Shanghai are reiterating a warning to consumers to use sex toys as directed after a man arrived at Zhongshan Hospital with a nine-inch dildo that had been stuck inside him for five days.

After a two-year-long court battle, records kept by the Boy Scouts of America on suspected child abusers have been released online. The records were kept from 1965 to 1985 and contain the names of men who were banned from volunteering with the Boy Scouts after they were accused of abusing the young men entrusted to them. The so-called "perversion files" also contain the names of men banned on suspicion of being gay.

Massachusetts, you sure have been wacky this week. You're a major accomplice in this week's "Binders full of women" deluge (which Romney lied about too). You had brother-and-sister thieves pretending to be screwing in a bathroom to avoid jail time. Plus those roving coyotes, dumped lottery winners, cartoony bus-driver assaults, and your awful accents are ruining the flow of American Horror Story. And now you don't like a little private tickling?

As you were reading your paper edition of the Wall Street Journal today, you may have noticed the GIANT ad toward the front of the Marketplace section, in which Billy Graham tells you how to vote in the upcoming election.

The University of Phoenix is shutting down 115 of its bloodsucking fake college locations in the U.S., about half of the total number of centers of flimflammery. This may be seen as part of the larger trend of the decline of so-called "for profit colleges," which is a good thing, in the sense that these schools are best not at education, but at sucking money out of desperate people who can scarcely afford it.

Brooklyn—the expensive parts of Brooklyn, the parts of Brooklyn you read about in higher-end trend stories—prides itself on being a great bastion of liberalism and diversity, a place where the intelligentsia can be proud to live. In fact, many of the proud liberals in these parts of Brooklyn are full of shit.

Taking its cues from Zumba classes in Kennebunk, a Greek soccer team is now partly paid for by prostitution. The amateur team Voukefalas will wear practice jerseys emblazoned with the logos of two local brothels, "Villa Erotica" and "Soula's House of History."

How much would you pay for a sauce if you happened to be eating a sandwich without sauce? $65? $10,000? An infinite number of dollars and promises and begs? What if the sauce was 20 years old? How much would you pay to taste the sauce of glories past?

Megan Fox announced this afternoon on her Facebook page that she and husband Brian Austin Green recently welcomed baby boy Noah Shannon Green into the world.

Australian prime minister Julia Gillard has accomplished something previously reserved for Homer Simpson and horny preteens: she has revised the dictionary. Well, the Australian dictionary, which is sort of a real dictionary, except it is written by the descendants of criminals.

In 1996, cycling champion Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer. By 1999, he had recovered and made a miraculous return to win the Tour de France. Five years later, the LIVESTRONG charity, which battles cancer, started distributing yellow rubber bracelets emblazoned with "LIVESTRONG" in honor of Armstrong's courage and tenacity. And now, eight long years later, it's time to cut that dirty motherfucking bracelet off your wrist and throw it into the trash.

A 4.0 magnitude quake hit Maine tonight at about 7:00. Maine families were just welcoming home their fishermen dads when a quake erupted about 3 miles west of Hollis Center, Maine. Some Bostoners doling out bread bowls at Faneuil Hall might have been shaken and could've spilled spilled some soup on their counters. Some kid probably said that his bed moving back and forth was "wicked awesome," and other smaller kids were probably "wicked scared."

We've known for a while now that Foxconn, the Chinese mega-plant where Apple and other technology companies have their gadgets manufactured, has struggled with suicides and rampant worker dissatisfaction. But today comes confirmation that Foxconn's labor force is involved in yet another ugly scandal: child labor.

Rampant violence in El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras is being blamed for a huge increase in the number of unaccompanied children being held in American detention centers after sneaking into the country. From the LAT:

Good news if you hate art: there is none anymore. It has all been stolen.