Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz yesterday called Apple’s offshore tax(-evasion) practices “a fraud,” which is very rude to Tim Cook who seems like such a nice man.

A new report from Moody’s says that major U.S. companies are sitting on as much as $1.2 trillion in cash held overseas—hey, that’s enough to pay our national credit card bill!

Even if a court does force Apple to create software that would unlock an encrypted iPhone, it might have some trouble enforcing it: Some engineers tell the New York Times they would sooner quit their jobs.

Art imitates life; the plot of Revenge of the Nerds is now becoming a reality in Cupertino.

The Justice Department is seeking court orders that would force Apple to help it bypass the security features on at least twelve other iPhones not connected to terrorism cases, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Apple says it has no intention of complying with a federal magistrate’s order to unlock the cell phone used by the San Bernardino shooters, calling the back door system requested by the court “too dangerous to create.”

Later today, White House officials will be meeting with tech industry experts to brainstorm ways to counter ISIS’s wildly successful online recruiting tactics. Tim Cook will also be there.

Lately, the thought of opening my Macbook first thing in the morning flushes me with dread. There are many reasons for this to be so, but the one at the forefront of my mind when I rise is also the most primal: I know my Macbook will be miserably cold to the touch.

People in the USA are fed up with these Washington politicians who don’t care about folks like us. We want to be led by those we really believe in: brands.

Employees ejected a group of black teens from a Melbourne, Australia, Apple Store this week, telling them that store staff were “just worried you might steal something.” One of the boys, Francis Ose, posted a video of the incident on Facebook with the title “Simply Racism—made them apologize tho.”

If you’ve ever used iMessage, the proprietary messaging platform for Apple devices such as the iPhone, you’ve probably developed an opinion (or a refined lack of opinion) about its “read receipts” feature. They’re based on a simple idea—what if you could automatically notify people that you had seen their messages?—yet have slowly become iMessage’s most controversial and divisive function. The app’s read receipts are the inspiration for unending teenage drama, the subject of ongoing public debate among professional writers, and the not-so-secret source of anxiety for many Millennial adults.

Instead of waking up this morning to the proprietary echoing blip of the iPhone’s default alarm tone, a bunch of iPhone owners awoke this week to find the alarms they set had been turned off. Why? How? What the fuck happened?

Apparently, the New York Times reports, access to the Apple News app, which was announced in June and may or may not contain the secret to the future of journalism, has been disabled in China.

Roxane Gay, accomplished Twitter user and author, has not received her iPhone yet. Rather than settle this in private, she chose to publicly chastise Apple before her 89,000 followers about her missing phone. She also threatened to use the New York Times to settle the score. But it was just a joke!

Apple has for many years attempted to project its incoherent definition of decency onto iPhone users, typically when it comes to sex. But as of today, we know that news about killer drone strikes is too hot for the App Store, too.

The so-called “cool” pope has done an extremely uncool thing this week and timed his first-ever visit to New York with the launch of Apple’s newest phone, which is now delayed.

At the end of the day, our impossible Apple quiz seems to have proven there’s no way to tell the difference between the iPhone hype of 2015 and the iPhone hype of 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, or 2014. And that three of you are dirty cheaters. Here are the results.

In a post from a few days ago that could just have easily been written at any point over the past seven years, Mashable proclaimed that Apple might be working on a thinner iPhone. No shit. New things are better than old things. Upgrades are made with better parts and built to be more efficient. This will happen every. single. year.

Every year since 2007, Apple has held an event to unveil its new iPhone. And every year since 2007, professional technology reporters have fallen over themselves to tell you how Apple’s latest gadget is just like the one you already have, but a little bit better. This version is “not a game-changer,” they’ll write, but it has a slightly different shape or a camera or whatever.

Singer and populist intellectual property icon Taylor Swift earned near-universal praise earlier this year when she was credited with revamping Apple Music’s artist payment system through sheer force of will and chiding tumbler preaching alone. Great, but on the other hand, she’s been ripping off photographers all along.