Can you tell the Olsen twins apart?

Do you hate the way you're always losing loose prescription pills at the bottom of your backpack and then your French boyfriend is like, "OÙ SONT THE PILLS? J'AI BESOIN DE PILLS!" And you're like, "My arms don't reach! My arms don't reach!"?

If you are barefoot and poor and couldn't afford to buy the Olsen Twins' infamous $39,000 crocodile backpack from their label The Row before it sold out last year, I knew there was a reason we weren't friends.

"We seem to have gotten a donation of Tyra Banks' 'fantasy novel' Modelland," New York City's famous Housing Works Bookstore writes on its Tumblr, "with one copy for Ashley Olsen and one for Mary-Kate Olsen." It's very nice of them to call it a "donation," but the fact that the books still have their Post-It dedications inside makes us wonder if they were ever even cracked open. "So excited to share my fantasy novel, Modelland, with you. I hope you enjoy it!" both notes begin. "SMIZE!" she writes to Ashley; "Stay fierce and fabulous," she advises Mary-Kate. Housing Works is selling both for $100.

Taylor Lautner frequently forgets to water and feed his abs. Did AnnaLynne McCord get a boob job? A reality "star" says Mel Gibson impregnated her. Vogue names the Olsen twins "best dressed." TGIFriday gossip.

A $39,000 backpack from the Olsen twins' luxury fashion line The Row was "the first thing that sold off the shelf," according to Ashley. "During our last economic crisis in the U.S., the only thing that went up was Hermès." That's why she designed this mind-bogglingly expensive backpack, made exclusively from the skin of the mysterious fourth Olsen sister, who lives in a cage in their basement. You thought Elizabeth Olsen was the secret one? Hah.

Like a runaway train on a runaway track, Fashion Week is still hurtling into the horizon, wrecking everything in its path. Well, it's at least littering it with sequins and empty champagne bottles. Let's look at today's flotsam and jetsam.

Looks like our little Dakota Fanning is making good on her plans to attend New York University, almost mater of the Olsens and James Franco's West Village sleep-n-study center. Good for her!

Blake Lively faces the hydra monster of naked scandals. Arnold Schwarzenegger is ready for divorce. Natalie Portman stands up Oprah. Ellen Barkin's live-in boyfriend is half her age. The only way to kill Thursday gossip is with fire.

Last night, Anna Wintour's charity boondoggle, the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, brought out the brightest in the fashion world and tons of celebrities wearing their couture finest. But it wasn't easy walking that red carpet.

In this scene from their 1992 classic, To Grandmother's House We Go, watch the young Olsen twins dance awkwardly to the music of a street performer before chucking fried chicken into his saxophone case.

A seven-year-old girl considers Paris Hilton is her "step-mom." Kevin Jonas' wife might be pregnant. Lindsay Lohan breaks her crippling internet addiction. Nobody wants to see Tila Tequila's sex tape, but it's about to happen, anyway. TGIFriday gossip.

While Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have managed, throughout the years, to frighten people with their fashion choices, it's never been anything quite like this: a clip from one of their films, slowed down, and turned into the scariest thing ever.

Our long national nightmare is over: Dancing With The Stars returns tonight. Oh, and also the Olsen twins have finally sold their 5,700-square-foot five-bedroom penthouse in the Far West Village's 1 Morton Square condo castle, the same penthouse that Mary-Kate and Ashley—who today's kids think are famous for being fashion designers—never occupied and have been trying to sell since 2005.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have postponed their show at Fashion Week tomorrow because "production and delivery of our samples is delayed." They will present the latest in Amish bag lady chic at Paris fashion week, instead. [WWD, image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Ashley Olsen tells Harper's Bazaar she would love to see the first lady wear her and sister Mary-Kate's fashion line. Considering they wear outfits like these, we don't think simple and elegant Michelle is gonna bite. Image via Getty]

Mary-Kate Olsen describes her childhood act as "little monkey performers." The Beach Boys threaten to sue Katy Perry. Lily Allen is pregnant. Enrique Iglesias waterskis naked. Maddox and Pax call their nanny "mom." Thursday gossip's problems go back to childhood.

The Olsen twins have finally unloaded the $8.45 million Manhattan penthouse they never lived in.

Mary Kate and Ashley never moved into their six-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bath penthouse at 1 Morton Square and they've been trying to sell it since 2005. Current asking price: $8.45 million. That should sell in a New York Minute. [Images via Curbed]

[Ashley Olsen in New York; image via Bauer-Griffin]