There. See? He meant Asians. Asians are the bad immigrants. Good luck, Jeb!

Fuck. You forgot to buy your Asian Friend a Christmas present. You didn't realize until recently that your Asian Friend even celebrated Christmas. You're really learning a lot about your friend...and yourself.

1. It is racist.
2.–52. [see above]
53. Trust me. No matter how good or ironic your intentions are, you are not going like the conversations this starts.

This weekend racist pundit John Derbyshire lost his column at the National Review for being more direct with his racism than that magazine allows. We reached out to Derbyshire and Taki's Magazine executive editor Mandolyna Theodoracopulos, who is ostensibly responsible for publishing Derb's racist article, for comment. Mandolyna, the daughter of Taki's Magazine namesake and "soi disant anti-semite" Taki Theodoracopulos, responded thusly:

Current D.C. councilman and former crack-smoking "Mayor for Life" Marion Barry is "very sorry for offending the Asian American community" by making this astonishingly offensive comment at a press conference:

Oh, how awkward. Not only did Time put an Asian guy on the cover of their "Yo Decido" cover about Latino voters, but the Asian guy in question is actually a member of the press. OC Weekly's Michelle Woo reports,

All Business Insider CEO/editor-in-chief Henry Blodget wanted to do was walk into the Apple Store and pick up a new iPhone 4S, as is his birthright as a rich, white American. But when he got there, his quest was stymied by a horde of "Asian folks" "scarfing up" all the iPhones!

Recently the Fox Sports show The College Experiment did a segment (above) in which they basically said Asian students at USC are weird foreigners because they don't care about football. Well, they will be not be making fun of anyone, of any kind, anymore.

Earlier this year, after the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami devastated much of Japan, various "patriots," ahem, claimed via Facebook and Twitter that the disaster was "karmic payback" for the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Apparently their work making America look terrible wasn't finished!

Remember UCLA's racist YouTube ranter, who complained about Asians ruining her life with their annoying "ching chong ling long ting tong" language? She has inspired a new Asian-run campus business:

Dan Adler, a former Disney executive running for Congress in L.A., has released the Jim Belushi SNL skit of campaign ads. In a bid to reach Asian constituents, Adler, a Democrat, saunters into a laundromat where a Korean lady screams, "I HAVE ISSUES! MEDICARE! I'M KOREAN!" Then, some unusually straightforward race-pandering:

Meet J.T. Tran, "The Asian Playboy" and America's "#1 Dating Coach for Asian Men." He makes a cameo in Wesley Yang's New York magazine article about high-achieving Asian-American underdogs. As an aerospace engineer, J.T. spent his spare time studying from The Game pick-up artist Mystery. Soon, he became the Kumon math teacher of seduction.

An ad looking for potential castladies for a "housewives show" in San Franciscopopped up on Craigslist today. Does that mean the City by the Bay is Bravo's next destination?

Notorious dingbat Sharron Angle, Harry Reid's Nevada Senate challenger, addressed a high school's Hispanic Student Union last week and proceeded fuck something up, right on schedule. Apparently some of the Hispanic kids looked "a little more Asian" to her. Huh?

Forbes' list of the 400 richest Americans is out today, with Jay-Z and Warren Buffett on the cover. Funny, since there's only one black person on the list, and it's not Jay-Z. Who is on the list? A breakdown, below.

A trio of Japanese Lolitas crashed Tom Ford's fashion show by saying one of them was Japanese Vogue editor Mitsuko Watanabe. I mean, maybe if they said they were with Gwen Stefani—but confusing this with this?

Flushing, Queens is home to a wonderful international tableau of residents, representing the entire Asian diaspora. So you can imagine how much it sucks for the white people, right? You ever go to one of those Asian grocery stores? Weirdo!

Guanabee has captured this dramatic image of Jackie Chan striking the "Ching-chong Chinaman" pose at the Spanish premier of his new movie, Bad Jackie Chan Movie. Spanish people simply cannot get enough of that pose! [Guanabee]

Lou Dobbs is usually a belligerent xenophobe in honor of something Mexican, like a migrant worker, leprosy, asphalt or maybe just a cheese enchilada. Not today: The Irish made the CNN anchor insult everyone.

Yeah he might have a hot body, but Olympic swimmer and Son of Neptune Michael Phelps is kind of a dweeb. Those ears! That kind of lumbering awkwardness. Sure his glorious be-medaling has emboldened him a bit, but still. So it's funny that he's gone and done what so many newly-rich, videogame-anime-lady-obsessed nerds have done before him: he's found himself an Asian girlfriend.