Barack Obama convened the "first completely virtual interview from the White House" today in an attempt to connect directly with citizens. It turned out one of those citizens wanted the president to dance for her. Bet that never happens in the White House press room.

Now that he's moved on to bigger and shinier things, Barack Obama has no need for his old mode of transportation. I'm actually pretty sure he ditched it a while back, but hey — now it can be yours. The eBay scourers over at BuzzFeed stumbled on an exciting opportunity to purchase Obama's 2005 Chrysler 300. For a paltry one million dollars, you can drive around in the same car then-Senator Obama may have used to travel between Washington D.C. and Chicago. That's right, no guarantees. At least the listing is honest?

The 10th President of the United States, John Tyler, was born in 1790 and still has two living grandchildren. And one of them, 84-year-old Harrison Tyler — born 138 years after his grandfather — just got suckered into a Politico interview, in which he had much to say.

Why is Arizona America's number-one state? Because of its public servants, like Peoria police officer Sgt. Pat Shearer, who took "a picture that shows several teens, a few of them carrying guns, displaying a bullet-riddled Obama T-shirt" — a picture so good that even the Secret Service is interested.

How would Texans greet their three-term governor, their invincible hero, their great culture warrior, Rick Perry, upon return from his humiliating presidential run? With a giant thumb down. Maybe they'll forget by 2014, when he runs for governor again.

Perhaps you have heard the news about this, the most destabilizing political scandal to hit American politics since Teapot Dome: President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer had a modest disagreement about her new book, Scorpions for Breakfast, on the tarmac yesterday. The photographers even captured her pointing at him. What is everyone's problem?

Barack Obama's State of the Union speech scored at an eight-grade readability level, according to the University of Minnesota's Smart Politics blog. His three SOTUs all rank among the six lowest scoring ones ever, and are on average "more than two grades lower than the 10.7 grade average for the other 67 addresses written by his 12 predecessors." [via Politico]

Hahaha! Barack Obama made a funny joke in his State of the Union speech last night about how dumb the EPA was for forcing dairy farmers to have containment plans spelling out what to do if their massive milk facilities spring a leak. Stupid EPA! It's just "spilt milk," amirite? Milk is good for you, and you shouldn't cry when you spill it! Except when you spill it in massive amounts. Then it kills fish and threatens the water supply.

Tonight we witnessed President Obama outline all the proposals that will be blocked by Congress in the election year 2012. Drill for everything. Create jobs for the humans who want jobs. End more wars, try not to have new ones... but maybe have some new ones? 2012 is shaping up to be a banner year for America's government. Let's check out some reactions from the pundits and various clowns on Twitter.

After the State of the Union address, White House officials will answer questions on Quora, a start-up website that relies on the wisdom of crowds to select the "best" answers to open-ended questions.

Andrew Adler, the owner and publisher of the Atlanta Jewish Times, a weekly newspaper serving Atlanta's Jewish community, devoted his January 13, 2012 column to the thorny problem of the U.S. and Israel's diverging views on the threat posed by Iran. Basically Israel has three options, he wrote: Strike Hezbollah and Hamas, strike Iran, or "order a hit" on Barack Obama. Either way, problem solved!

The whole "who would you rather have a beer with" method of president selection is, we know, so stupid — who cares how fun or cool the president is? — but, come on, imagine Mitt Romney on stage at the Apollo (Obama was there for a fundraiser), trying to pull off an Al Green line. Actually, just try to imagine Mitt Romney on stage at the Apollo, period. Right?

Crocheted Etsy woman Zooey Deschanel was spotted this week "hop[ping] around with an adorable bunny bag."

News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch's puzzling Twitter feed of spontaneous crank missives turned out this surprising political position this afternoon: "Carried interest tax racket. Billions over many years. Why and where has Obama been?" If we're translating this correctly, he's calling the controversial carried interest tax loophole, which is in the news thanks to Mitt Romney's comical tax history, a "racket" that his cost the Treasury billions of dollars in revenue over the years, and he's wondering why Obama hasn't pushed to eliminate it. Will the tycoon allow us the honor of correcting him?

The photos emerging from President Obama's visit to Walt Disney World today suggest that his advisers' plan to write sarcastic Republican web ads about "Her Royal Highness King Barack" for them was a smashing success.

President Obama will visit Walt Disney World tomorrow. The plan is to "unveil a strategy that will significantly help boost tourism and travel," according to the White House, which informs us that this is "an important sector in the U.S. economy." All well and good, but let's skip to the important part: What delicious Republican wisecracks that we'll hear ten million times over the next year will emerge from this?

Congressional Republicans forced the Obama administration to expedite its decision on constructing the Keystone XL pipeline late last year, and today they're getting their answer: No Keystone XL pipeline. Our president has abandoned the oppressed Canadian tar sands, who only ever wanted a one-way ticket to Texas and the chance for a freer, more refined life.

Have you had the opportunity to settle down with the hot new political gossip book of the past several days, New York Times reporter Jodi Kantor's The Obamas? The Gawker Political Desk rarely consumes these White House reporters' bound anecdote collections but, for mysterious reasons, both obtained and made it through 200 pages of Kantor's offering before having to stop due to a total lack of interest in continuing.

But soft! What light through yonder White House window breaks? It is the Oval Office, and Brangelina is meeting with President Obama, New York Times photographer Doug Mills tweets. This rare alignment of stars can only mean one thing: Tense negotiations between the American government and NAFTA, the Notables Adopting Foreign Toddlers Association. For all the babies in the Mariana Islands, Brad Pitt will solve the recession by gazing deeply into its eyes and whispering something sexy.

Here's a brief history of President Obama's White House chiefs of staff: Rahm Emanuel, a former Clinton official who then worked in investment banking, was replaced in 2010 by Bill Daley, a former Clinton official who then worked in investment banking, in order to run for Mayor of Chicago, a seat that had been held for 20 years by Bill Daley's brother.