It's been a while since we heard from the "Obama's a secret Muslim" lunatic fringe, but they still pop up from time to time. Like at today's Louisiana rally for Newt Gingrich, at which a man named Bob Nolan offered this stunning assessment of the president.

Behold, "One Nation Under Socialism," a new masterpiece from America's Da Vinci, Jon McNaughton. (Previously best known for that one painting of Obama stepping on the constitution.) With it, McNaughton carries on in the tradition of some the 20th century's finest figurative artists. Buy two — one for now, and one to trade when Nobama hands control of the country over to the Black Panthers. [Jon McNaughton]

The most recent article from The Nation's Jeremy Scahill profiled the imprisonment of Yemeni journalist Abdulelah Haider Shaye. For covering American cluster bomb strikes in Yemen and the radicalization of Yemeni citizens and their support for Al Qaeda, Shaye has been beaten and tortured, imprisoned for two years and, at America's request, seen a presidential pardon from Yemen's Ali Abdullah Saleh indefinitely tabled.

An American soldier opened fire on civilians in Kandahar Sunday, killing 16 Afghans including 9 children and 3 women. While most reports say a single soldier is accountable for the massacre, some eyewitness accounts maintain it was a group of American soldiers "who were laughing and appeared drunk."

So Andrew Breitbart's belated death-rattle made its debut last night, and here's what it is: Barack Obama, in 1990, gave a speech saying nice things about a bad man named Derrick Bell. He also hugged the bad man, Derrick Bell. Ipso facto reduction ad absurdum habeas corpus hocus pocus, Barack Obama is a bad man as well. Airtight.

Yesterday — in the wake of losing several sponsors — Rush Limbaugh apologized for calling law student Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute." Fluke had the audacity to argue in front of Congress that her employer's health care coverage should cover her birth control. Since Limbaugh made his apology, notable Republicans have stepped forward to agree that Limbaugh's comments were out of line, and that the conservative talk show host does not speak for the Republican party as a whole.

There have been several recent reports on rising gas prices, mostly focused on the fact that we're kind of doomed. Obama has admitted that he can't simply make the prices go down, and that none of the "easy solutions" many people are clamoring for would have any effect, now or in the longrun. We may — brace yourselves — have to start thinking in a different way entirely.

Get ready to have your mind blown. A new non-partisan study has determined that Mitt Romney's tax plan "strongly favors the wealthiest Americans."

Richard Cebull, chief U.S. district judge of Montana, has issued an apology for sending an email that equated interracial sex with bestiality and accusing Barack Obama's mother of having sex with a dog. In an open letter on official court letterhead, Cebull writes,

Chief U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull has admitted to sending a mass email joking that Barack Obama is black because his mother slept around so much, she even had sex with a dog. Cebull swears he's not a racist, though.

President Obama was the featured guest on Bill Simmons podcast The B.S. Report this week, and revealed himself as a fan of Omar Little, gay mass-murdering drug dealer from The Wire.

According to Utah Senator Orrin Hatch, "President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for the hipster fedora and a double skim latte." Fair enough. [tips hipster fedora and raises double skim latte toward Hatch in recognition]

I'm feeling pretty special this morning, because I received a personal invitation from Malcolm Sykes, CEO of SocialMeter.org (which "allows members to meet and build professional relationships while contributing to charitable causes"), to have dinner with the one and only Mr. Barack Obama, president of the USA.

Finger-pointing Arizona governor Jan Brewer made double headlines today by endorsing Mitt Romney and turning down an invitation from President Barack Obama. Yep, that'll do it.

Back in 2008, President Obama's political opponents made a lot of predictions about what an Obama presidency would do to America. The reality didn't quite live up to their socialist, fundamental Islamist hype. What are they doing in now that it is 2012 and Obama is seeking a second term? The exact same thing: making ridiculous predictions about what will come in the next four years.

It would be more than OK with me if a video of Obama singing a bluesy, soulful song made its way around the Internet about once a month. Also, how fun does Blues Night at the White House look? It looks very fun.

Well, this isn't exactly surprising. Under pressure from the religious right, Barack Obama made a concession about birth-control insurance coverage — while religious employers will not have to offer free contraceptives to workers, the insurers themselves will have to. It's a compromise he shouldn't have had to make in the first place, and Catholic Church officials (along with prominent Republic leaders) are being dicks about it, anyway.

About 100 hormone-crazed middle and high school students descended upon the White House yesterday for a Science Fair (which, in this economy, am I right?) and Joey, an eighth grader from Phoenix, Ariz., was the unofficial winner of everything.

In the wake of increasing bloodshed in Syria and yesterday's massacre, Barack Obama has released a statement against the Syrian government and in support of peaceful protesters. Al Jazeera has posted the full transcript on their site.

Mitt: please stop singing. It's not so much that you're a bad singer, it's just that President Obama is both pretty good and has better song selection. Also it's that you're a bad singer. Also it's that you're the most impossibly awkward human being to walk planet earth. My girlfriend has to hide her face when you start talking, Mitt. Just watch yourself (above, singing "America the Beautiful"; below, "Happy Birthday").