Matt Drudge's latest foray into barely subliminal messaging doesn't involve evil black youths beating up kindly white people. Instead, it shows Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President Obama, and Nancy Pelosi all making the same gesture, establishing them as equally evil. Cute!

Who would donate to the Barack Obama reelection campaign now, when everyone hates politics and life and he's not even in a difficult primary or anything? Apparently plenty of people would! He raised $42.8 million during the third quarter for his campaign committee, and another $27.3 million for the national party.

Remember President Obama's American Jobs Act that he announced in a speech 'round 'bout a month ago? Well, it hasn't even been shitcanned in the Senate like all other pieces of legislation yet! That's happening in oh another hour or two.

Asked about his iPad, Barack Obama made sure ABC News' George Stephanopoulous knew "Steve Jobs actually gave to to me a little bit early. Yeah, it was cool. I got it directly from him." Then he blushed, swear to God.

West Virginia's acting governor, Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin won tonight's special gubernatorial election despite the fact that, according to his opponent, he loves Obamacare, loves it so much he wants to gay-marry it. There'll be another election in 2012. [AP]

Hank Williams, Jr., took to his website to apologize for his "dumb Statement" yesterday comparing President Obama to Hitler. "I am very Sorry if it Offended anyone," he writes. "This was Not written by some Publicist." You don't say, Hank.

Hank Williams, Jr., living monument to the irrelevance of genes in determining ability, appeared this morning on Fox & Friends to, as philosophe Steve Doocy put it, "break down the 2012 GOP field." And break down he did!

Some tough words from Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) about President Obama and his team's communications strategy was raising eyebrows in Washington Monday morning, but that was before Pelosi disavowed the quote and Newsweek's Daily Beast admitted a mistake and retracted it.

Last night President Barack Obama delivered the keynote address at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC)'s National Dinner in Washington, DC, and spent much of his time at the podium raving about his meal. "The dinner rolls were absolutely divine," he said. "The little potatoes—well, I need to get that seasoning recipe before I leave here tonight. And the peas and carrots had the perfect amount of butter on them. I remember when I was really little, like maybe five or six, my mother used to drop a whole inch-thick cube of butter on my peas and carrots, which turned them into a fattening, greasy soup. I always told her, 'Ma,' I said, 'if you want me to eat my vegetables, you gotta lighten up on the Land o'Lakes. My arteries, man.' But she never acknowledged my simple requests, and now I bear the emotional scars of feeling invisible during my formative years."

"Yeah, the only problem was he was crazy." — President Obama, responding to author Jonathan Franzen's contention that Nixon "was our last liberal president" during a meeting last year. [via @JennaSauers' Twitter account of Franzen at The New Yorker festival]

The third quarter fundraising deadline for presidential candidates is today, today's the day! If you are subscribed to President Obama's campaign email or text message alert lists, you're well aware of this, because you are constantly getting emails and text messages with cutesy variations of, "So how bout those dumb Republicans, eh? Want to have dinner? Give us money right now." Here's the official recorded history of this aggressive blitz, going back a couple of weeks.

Michelle Obama was snapped Thursday at the Target store in Alexandria, Virginia. (Click image to enlarge, if you don't believe us!) Hidden beneath a Nike cap and sunglasses, the First Lady pushed her own cart around the store for approximately 30 minutes, and was recognized only by her cashier. The White House confirmed that it was indeed Mrs. Obama rummaging through the discount Missoni chemise bin, with First Lady communications director Kristina Schake explaining, "It is not uncommon for the First Lady to slip out to run an errand, eat at a local restaurant or otherwise enjoy the city outside the White House gates." Will this be the TP-run that loses Obama the union vote? Developing! [Photo credit: AP]

Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch recently endorsed Republican Bob Turner in the special election for Anthony Weiner's old congressional seat, helping him pull off the upset against Democrat Dave Weprin. Koch, who supported Obama in 2008, wanted to punish the Democratic party over "President Obama's open hostility to the State of Israel." But that was all a few weeks ago! He's now changed his mind and endorsed Obama, after being invited to a fancy party.

Here's some unsettling footage of Barack Obama addressing a group of supporters at the House of Blues on L.A.'s Sunset Strip on Monday night. During the president's remarks, an unseen man approaches the stage, and proceeds to shout at the top of his lungs...

The chief executive and chief financial officers of Solyndra, the California solar panel manufacturer that took a half-billion dollars in federal loan guarantees in 2009 and promptly went bankrupt, leaving taxpayers on the hook, were given an opportunity to explain themselves today before a congressional committee today. They took the Fifth.

During his speech before the United Nations General Assembly on Wednesday, President Obama said the U.S. would oppose a Palestinian bid for UN membership—despite the fact he called for precisely that just a year ago—suggesting Palestine should resolve its conflict with Israel privately. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart expressed his feelings on the matter by comparing the UN to a housing co-op with Obama "that one hardass on the co-op board who always shoots people down."

President Obama waged class warfare on Monday when he announced a plan to narrow the budget deficit by increasing the minimum tax rate for those making more than $1 million a year. Republicans shot back, demanding instead that people without any money start paying taxes on that non-money. It's a classic rich vs. poor stalemate—one that Stephen Colbert attempted to solve on tonight's Report when he looked to the ground—six or so feet below it, actually—before suggesting a third party solution.

The Great Class Warfare War of 2011 saw "fighting" (useless bitching) continue well into Monday night, mostly on the television program of self-appointed Nassau County police dispatcher Bill O'Reilly.

There's a rumor going around Arizona about a black fellow claiming to be president, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is going to get to the bottom of it—even if it gets him tons of press kills him.

What are you doing tomorrow at 10:30? Meeting some guy from Craigslist who says he'll buy your kid? If you're near a television, check out President Obama's Rose Garden address—he's going to propose class warfare!