There is a new book out about the Obama presidency—Confidence Men, by Pulitzer-winning former Wall Street Journal writer Ron Suskind—and you know what that means! Hot gossip. Hot political gossip.
Famous pancake artist Dan Lacey has rendered this realistic work in which President Barack Obama cures his depression by having sparkly thoughts of naked Scarlett Johansson photos. In the bottom-left corner is Bo the Dog, wearing a lei (but not his right eye???!!) in honor of the Hawaiian continent. Currently on sale at eBay. Would look great in your bathroom, or your tent.
The Germans have a long history of, well, "dabbling" in every sort of racism or prejudice imaginable. Much like every other country! But they have a special, recurring knack for representing Barack Obama in ways that they think are innocent, but are actually casually racist. It's sweet, in a way. (Maybe not.)
After announcing it to Congress last week, President Obama unveiled the $450 billion American Jobs Act at the White House on Monday. The next morning, Fox & Friends ripped the President for fastening the 200-page bill with a "chintzy clip," a move Stephen Colbert described as "Clip-gate" on tonight's Report.
You know when you get into an unfamiliar city for some stupid work thing and you're desperately trying to remember who you know who lives there? That apparently happened with 23-year-old Marine veteran Dakota Meyer, whose "stupid work thing" tomorrow is "being awarded the Medal of Honor." So he did what any self-respecting living Medal of Honor recipient would (there have only been two since Vietnam): He called the president.
Congressman Louie Gohmert of Texas, whom some might call a "character," is working hard for the American people today, by pulling a middle-school-level prank on the president! You know how Obama keeps demanding that Congress pass his American Jobs Act right now? Well, Louie Gohmert filed his own bill under that very name this afternoon. What a funnyman! This is a game-changer.
Pennsylvania Republicans control the state's governorship and both chambers of the state legislature. What else is there for them to do at a time like this besides helping to screw over Barack Obama's reelection chances by instituting an audacious, illogical electoral system?
Wouldn't you be? Barack Obama is at the nadir of his political popularity and effectiveness. He has been maneuvered into an economic corner of 9%-plus unemployment by a relentlessly nihilistic Congress. His achievements—killing bin Laden, saving the auto industry at negligible cost—are written off as flukes. Plus all this 9/11 anniversary stuff! We hear the New York Times is looking into whether it's all starting to get to him—like, clinically.
In a spirited, 32-minute address that demonstrated he still has some fire left (but not so much fire that he would dare pre-empt the Republican debates or 2011 NFL kickoff), President Barack Obama called for Congress to "stop the political circus" and approve a $450 billion defibrillation of the flatlining U.S. economy.
Louisiana Sen. David Vitter is one of the members of Congress who's been bragging in the last few days about not attending President Obama's speech tonight — in his case, to hold a football-watching party at his house. But it probably wasn't a good idea to broadcast his lame flouting of congressional tradition! Because Sen. Harry Reid heard him, and now it appears that little David will have to stay in Washington after all.
President Obama hasn't even given his big jobs speech yet, but that didn't stop Mitt Romney from declaring it a failure—and unveiling his own 160-page economic plan—during a rambling speech in Las Vegas today. The only thing more obvious than the impracticality of Romney's proposals was how desperate he is to be elected. Or as Jon Stewart put it on tonight's Daily Show: "You want to be President so bad, Al Gore can taste it."
Last week, Republicans complained about the date of President Obama's jobs speech to Congress and got the White House to move it to the next evening. The resolution of this conflict has allowed Republicans to move on — to making new excuses about why they won't show up anyway. One will be busy tweeting in his office! Another has to host a party. But really they all just hate Obama, which is fine.
Last week, President Obama announced he'd reveal his plan for job creation before a joint session of Congress at the same time as tomorrow night's Republican presidential debate. John Boehner wasn't happy about this and asked the President to push his speech back a night; a few hours later, Obama acquiesced. No big deal, right? Or as Jon Stewart put it on tonight's Daily Show, "non-crisis averted!"
Dick Cheney, fresh off the publication of his new chapbook of mystic poems inspired by the work of Duccio di Buoninsegna, appeared on Fox News Sunday today. What did he and host Chris Wallace do? Said stupid attention-grabbing things with almost no substance at all, such as, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Hillary Clinton would have been easier to work with than Barack Obama and also I am a horrible war criminal who shot an old man in the face."
President Obama pulled the plug Friday on a long-delayed environmental regulation that would have further limited industrial smog emissions, leaving in place an ozone standard that EPA administrator Lisa Jackson recently described as "legally indefensible."
President Obama, like he does with all top sports teams or athletes, has invited last year's NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson and the 11 other drivers who competed for the championship to a White House reception next week. Usually this is an invitation that you accept, always, unless you're deathly ill in bed with athlete's butt or whatever it is people catch these days. And yet only seven of the 12 will be attending. Hmm.
