What would President Obama do if he was caught sending pictures of his erect penis to women he met on the internet? "I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign," he told NBC's Ann Curry.
Today was Today show anchor Meredith Vieira's last day on the program. It was a very solemn occasion where they took time to recall her important moments like dancing with the Rockettes, falling down while ice skating, being attacked by Robin Williams and Russell Brand, polishing Colin Firth's trophy, and interviewing world leaders like Barack Obama and Miss Piggy.
That nice Boy Scout from down the street who's politely offered to fix America's finances, Rep. Paul Ryan, visited the White House today along with many, many other invited House Republicans. And Ryan, who has been known to sport a sad face when people say mean things about his policy ideas, had some tough words himself for that "demagogue" Barack Obama.
Whether he knows it or not, President Obama is about to fuck something up miserably and drown his administration in years of investigations. There is no avoiding it; it will happen, perhaps even by the close of Memorial Day weekend. Why are we so sure? Because a little thing called "math" told us.
Willard "Mittens" Romney is nothing if not America's most generous and dedicated philanthropist, always searching for the newest health research institutes, arts centers, and presidential campaigns for himself to dump all of his old Pratt-Romney family fortune into. Actually, we have no idea if he's a philanthropist. But he did send some leftover pizza to the Obama Campaign yesterday, so that's something, right?
Remember that thing the Obama administration started a couple of months ago, something about "bombing the shit out of Libya"? No? Well it was right around the start of March Madness; perhaps you were distracted. But the Libya War, and America's military involvement in it, is still quite active. The only thing that's changed is that it's probably in violation of the law now.
While the president continues his European tour with a stop in Poland, Michelle Obama is heading home. But is she going home to be with her daughters? Or is it because she hates Poland, and more specifically, its president?
President Obama has made the most epic gaffe in United States presidential history, just a little while ago. During his visit to Westminster Abbey today, he signed the guest book along with the date "24 May 2008." Not only did he not write "May 24" like a Real American would've, but he was also off by a year or two — at least.
The Obamas hung out with the Windsors today. Buckingham Palace's wind dynamics raised an important question: If the First Lady of the United States of America had a Marilyn Monroe moment, would journalists photograph it? Or would they turn their lenses away out of respect and/or shame? Or would the Secret Service swoop in and destroy their cameras one by one, like so many Hollywood bodyguards?
President Obama attempted to reset relations with the Arab world Thursday in a comprehensive speech that positioned the United States and its values squarely behind the democratic uprisings sweeping the Middle East and North Africa and promised aid to help promote economic growth and stability across the region.
We Americans are trying to face the important issues to this country, but the Obama campaign only seems interested in perpetuating Silly Season. These carnival barkers are now selling limited edition "Made in the USA" tee shirts featuring images of the president's birth certificate on the back.
