Barack Obama didn't fuck up or produce a controversial "YouTube moment" during his press conference today, so here's what Politico has settled for instead: he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Why does Barack Obama obviously hate his wife? [Image: AP]

A revealing moment in Barack Obama's press conference today: he showered praise on rock-star consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren, promising an "official" announcement soon. Will he grant liberals' wishes and appoint her to the new consumer protection bureau? Sounds likely!

Tonight, Jon Stewart noted President Obama's shift from bipartisan love machine to Republican-killing campaign shark, and—namely—the media's reaction to it. The verdict? MSNBC should emulate Fox News' skew-the-news-to-fit-our-narrative mantra, and Rick Sanchez is an effing idiot. Video inside.

Barack Obama gave a solid speech in Ohio today, attacking Republican policies and obstructionism, and outlining several new economic initiatives. Reporters are giddy over his new tone of "populism," which is... what, exactly?

Man, Obama was fired up today during his speech to a union festival in Milwuakee. Sure, he announced a big $50 billion infrastructure initiative, which is important. But he also went after his political opponents with uncharacteristic glee.

It's Labor Day, a Federal holiday, and—boo!—we're working. Are you stuck working while all of your friends are silently meditating on the Labor movement's impact on America drinking? Bitch in the comments here.

A New York Times article this morning examines the latest iteration of an age-old problem for the Democratic party: getting young voters to give a shit about politics between presidential elections. Are these kids already bored with the "Democrat" fad?

Aww, this is sweet: "Rep. Joseph Cao (R-La.) said he loves President Obama on a personal level, and believes that the president likes him very much, too." Enough with the games, Cao! Just ask him out already.

Here's a Missouri Ozarks news broadcast about a highway billboard reading "Voted for Obama? Embarrassed Yet?" paid for by a concerned citizen. He says that billboard discourse is "what makes America great". Yes, impassioned debate through billboards. America's dream.

Page Six hears that Barack Obama may be courting Michael Bloomberg for Treasury secretary. Well, they did go golfing recently. But it's hard to picture Bloomberg leaving his NYC mayor job, considering how much he paid for it. [Image: AP]

President Obama gave the second Oval Office address of his presidency tonight, announcing the official end of the Iraq War. It wasn't a bad speech, either! Though, of course, Sarah Palin had an opinion about it.

Democrats are going to lose every congressional election, basically. Not only have Republicans taken a record-breaking lead in generic ballot polling, but new numbers from "battleground" Ohio shows voters preferring George W. Bush over Barack Obama, 50-42.

In an attempt to construct a witty cover, Newsweek seems to claim that Obama isn't president. Jonathan Alter's article explores and debunks the network of conspiracy theories surrounding the president. But the cover lines' kind of affirm one myth. D'oh.

Today, the Associated Press surveys all the miraculously adorable things we've learned about the Obama girls' lives in the White House, and all of it is cute. All of it. Even Malia's braces are adorable. How is this possible?

Contractors were hard at work making over the Oval Office while the Obamas vacationed in Martha's Vineyard, installing a new rug, wallpaper, chairs, sofas, and tables. More photos of the hot new redesign, below.

The U.S. government again is trying to clamp down on North Korea through sanctions aimed at the country's top leaders and, more specifically, the notorious Office 39, which is widely seen as an "investment bank" for North Korea's elite.

Glenn Beck—while comparing himself both to Obama and Reagan—acted as his own biggest cheerleader in a show-long tirade wherein he asserted that his Restoring Honor rally did not receive coverage accurate enough for his liking.

CNN anchor Rick Sanchez, who's always sayin' the nuttiest things, called Barack Obama the "the cotton-pickin' president" today. This enraged his Twitter followers, because didn't black slaves used to pick cotton? Sanchez testily apologized shortly thereafter. Sanchez's latest flub below.

Alleged President Obama sat down with 30 Rock cast member Brian Williams on Sunday to talk about some... French city? Or something? Who even knows?? Because the important part is that Obama once again rejected the demands of millions of reasonable Americans, who are just naturally suspicious of this black fellow claiming to be president. See, Obama told Williams that he "can't spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead." Oh, and why is that, "Mister" "President"? Most likely because you can't plaster something to your forehead... if it doesn't exist.

[Barack Obama holds an umbrella for Michelle during their trip to New Orleans to commemorate the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. To be fair, that is a pretty huge umbrella. Photo via AP]