Tonight, Jon Stewart issued a one-two punch regarding the proposed "Ground Zero Mosque." First, to President Obama for flip-flopping on his support for it, and then to Glenn Beck for criticizing another's statements about 9/11 that he'd recently made himself.

Master of subtle rationality Rush Limbaugh took to the airwaves today to discuss the Ground Zero non-mosque (just like Newt Gingrich did this morning) and, in the process, called Barack Obama "our first anti-American president." Audio of Limbaugh's rant, inside.

Apparently Barack Obama's not-sexy-enough photo of him swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, designed to show its safety for tourists, was not technically taken in the Gulf — just an inner bay, where all water is from the Gulf. Caught!

When Reddit user freshcashews turned 13, his father sent out letters to important figures inviting them to the Bar Mitzvah. Forty-one of them wrote back—including then-Senator Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Queen of England, and the President of Nigeria.

[The First Family took a cruise in Panama City Beach, Florida this morning to help promote tourism in the wake of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Image via Getty]

The Gulf Coast: Devastated by hurricanes and oil spills. But nothing can compare to the latest insult. President Barack Obama has refused to strip down and show off his sculpted pecs to the press on a pristine Florida beach.

Yesterday we told you about our undercover Muslim president hosting a Ramadan iftar. Well, he also threw his support behind the spooky Ground Zero mosque. Thankfully we have the cover of the New York Post to keep patriotic Americans informed.

Nefarious tyrant Barack Obama has boldly taken sides in the Great War on Mosques: He will be hosting a White House "iftar" feast tonight for Ramadan, the enemy's holiday. How many 9/11 mosques will he green-light during this meal, hmm?

The White House press corps, our proud enforcers of public accountability, regularly demand more transparency from the White House. But if you ask them whether they attended an off-the-record lunch with President Obama, it's Top Secret. Got it?

Tonight, a freshly-shaved Jon Stewart talked about the fact that Republicans are simultaneously complaining about the nation's deficit and fighting to extend Bush's tax cuts (which, if ended, would reduce said deficit by 30%). Inside, video of the smackdown.

[President Obama looked like he was about to start headbanging to a Judas Priest song when showing the crowd the "hook 'em horns" at the University of Texas in Austin today. Image via AP]

Last week, a fair near Allentown, Pennsylvania grabbed some attention for its "Alien Attack" shooting-gallery game, where one could shoot at Barack Obama's likeness. The game was pulled. But there's still a similar game on the Jersey Shore boardwalk!

President Obama hosted a pickup basketball game yesterday that featured some of the biggest names to have played the game: Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Bill Russell, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Afterwards they dined on shrimp from the Gulf of Mexico.

Last week, Glenn Beck had a typically informative, entertaining show about how the Democrats are going to enforce mandatory white-baby abortions, or whatever. At some point, Beck threw himself into conniptions watching President Obama speak, and said: "Did I slip through a worm hole in the middle of the night and this looks like America? It's like the damn planet of the apes."

Well, that happened. Bravo unrolled its fifth entry in their wildly successful reality franchise and it was, well, something of a death knell, methinks. For the series, for DC, for women in general. It was just plumb awful, wasn't it?

Sarah Palin followed up on her "cojones" remarks on Hannity yesterday by saying Obama's "in over his head," "quite complacent," and "in flux," much of which is "a result of him not having much experience." What about happy birthday?

[Michelle Obama looked as gorgeous as ever while vacationing in Marbella, Spain today with daughter Sasha and a group of friends. Barack's gonna get even more gray hair worrying about those lusty Spanish men around town. Image via AP]

Our child-president Barack Obama turns a sprightly 49 today, and everyone's excited. The Republican National Committee, for example, have set up a website where you can send very mean birthday cards to the commander-in-chief. Which will you choose?

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. George Bush announced that he hated broccoli, and earned powerful enemies. Today: Michelle Obama announces that she and her husband hate beets.

Today is Barack Obama's 49th birthday! Yesterday he told reporters that he's gotten a lot more gray hair in the past year. For his birthday, we decided to put together a photo comparison for him. Sweet of us, no?