Fresh from their latest round of conniptions and hissy-fits over Obama saying that "empathy" would be an ideal characteristic for his upcoming nomination to the Supreme Court, because Jesus hates empathy you see, conservatives are predictably aghast at Sykes' jokes and that Obama dared to enjoy them. Here's a sampling of commentary:

The glad-handing, back-slapping yukfest of reporters getting cozy with politicians and the occasional celebrity that is the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner just ended. And Obama's roast absolutely killed it.

Louis Caldera, the White House aide who signed off on that insanely stupid photo-op flyover over New York City two weeks ago, is officially unemployed as of this afternoon. [WSJ]

• Execs at CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox are supposedly "seething" that the president's three news conferences have cost them $30 million in ad revenue. [THR]
• Is the New York Times Co. heading towards bankruptcy? [E&P]
• More budget cuts at the Star Ledger and San Francisco Chronicle. [E&P, HP]
• The LA Times introduces a new weekly magazine this Sunday. [Folio]
• Star Trek is off to a fast start. The pic grossed $7 million last night alone. [EW]
• It looks like television and radio advertising is rebounding a bit. [MLM]
• Former Radar editor Maer Roshan is now the editor of TheWeek.com. [NYP]
• The Simpsons got its own series of postage stamps yesterday. [Reuters]

Socialist tax-and-spender Barack Obama wanted to cut $17 billion worth of important, life-saving government programs, but some congressmembers are finally standing up to him.

Yes, this is partly our fault, this story having legs, but still: this man exists, and that is not our fault. He is the blogger who is exposing Barack Obama's scandalous Dijon obsession.

Everyone has misunderstood why Google, from CEO Eric Schmidt on down, is cozying up to Barack Obama. It's not out of some likeminded geekiness. It's out of desperation and fear.

When Barack Obama made headlines by eating a hamburger this week, we were disappointed that he ruined his by ordering it medium-well. Sean Hannity, though, found something far worse.

The White House has tapped two D.C.-area techies to run the government's tech infrastructure. His CIO, Vivek Kundra, turned out to have a rap sheet. Now his CTO Aneesh Chopra, has a drug problem.

The Mormons posthumously baptized Barack Obama's mom! Isn't that sweet of them? Sweet and creepy? Well, these things happen. This particular thing happens a lot, in fact.

• Bank of America chief Ken Lewis won't be in a good mood today, that's for sure. Regulators have informed the bank that it will have to come up with $34 billion in new capital if it expects to weather the downturn. [WSJ, NYT]
• For its part, Citigroup may have to come up with $5-$10 billion. [Reuters]
• Remember all the outrage that followed the disclosure that AIG had paid out more than $100 million in bonuses? It seems the bonus pool was four times larger than previously anticipated. Oh, well. [NYP]
• Companies cut an estimated 491,000 workers in April, which is less than previous months and possibly a sign that the worst is over. [BN]

Michelle Obama will be in New York this evening to attend—and speak at—the glitzy party celebrating Time's list of the 100 most influential people. As the name implies, there are precisely 98 people in addition to president and first lady who made the cut. But leave it to some AP reporter to make it sound like earning a spot on the list is a really, really bad thing: "Among those who made the list: the First Lady, Michelle Obama; her husband, President Barack Obama; and Bernard Madoff, the disgraced New York money manager who has admitted to stealing tens of billions of dollars from investors." [AP]

Will Barack Obama appoint Hillary Clinton to the Supreme Court?

Presidential mother-in-law Marian Robinson didn't want to go to DC, but now she is a White House party animal. The Obamas brought her to watch the kids, but she's gone all Auntie Mame on them.

• President Obama will propose new laws today to crack down on companies and wealthy individuals who use a variety of tax loopholes to move their assets offshore and avoid paying taxes. [WSJ, BN]
• Citigroup and Bank of America are both rumored to be working on plans to raise more than $10 billion in fresh capital a piece, although Bank of America is now denying that such a plan is underway. [FT, DB, BI]
• Questions are being raised about New York Fed chairman Stephen Friedman's ties to Goldman Sachs and possible conflicts of interest. [WSJ]

Of course not (racist). You can trace Barack Obama's basketball style directly back to one man and one man only:

Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele was on gambling addict Bill Bennett's radio program today, and a caller told Steele that Barack Obama is a "magic negro." Steele laughed and said, "Well, yeah."

It's official: Supreme Court Justice David Souter is indeed retiring. Confirmation of the news came from Barack Obama himself, who just crashed the White House daily press briefing.

Did you know that today is "Loyalty Day"? It is. And Barack Hussein Obama has issued a proclamation, or "fatwa," making it illegal to disobey him. Rise up, people!