[Taylor Momsen dons a mask and gown for a scene in Gossip Girl where she goes on a cannibalistic rampage at the Vienna Opera Ball. Serial killers like to play dress-up sometimes, too. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Reese Witherspoon films a scene for This Means War, an inspirational movie about the fight to cure tongue thrust. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Gisele singlehandedly keeps a party alive by whispering sweet nothings. Britney's conservatorship is phasing out. Kelly Osbourne sees herself in a bikini and cries. John Oliver gets engaged. Monday gossip is impervious to seduction.

[Rihanna braves the rain in London. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Justin Murdock—billionaire Dole Food heir and Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his dick, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

It's cute that Lorenzo Martone thinks there's life after Marc Jacobs (there isn't), but what we really took away from today's gushing NY Times profile is that Martone changed in front of the reporter. He always gets naked for press.

One of the great literary minds of her generation, Jersey Shore's Snooki, will publish her first novel next January. A Shore Thing! is sure to be a keenly observed bildungsroman about a girl looking for love on the boardwalk.

Mr. Mariah Carey seeks sponsors for his birthday party. Paris Hilton "quits the club scene." Liza Minnelli celebrates photo retouching. Lindsay Lohan gets a job. Wednesday gossip will get you through the hump of the week.

[Rihanna films the music video for What's My Name? on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Images via Bauer-Griffin, click to enlarge.]

Paris Hilton settles a lawsuit and makes history. Lindsay Lohan volunteers at a homeless shelter. Mariah Carey falls onstage at a concert. Lady Gaga dons a black leotard of mourning. Monday gossip is ready for its close-up.

[At Los Angeles International Airport, a TSA agent inspects a woman famous for being famous. Images via Bauer-Griffin, click to enlarge.]

[Keanu Reeves consumes a cupcake on the set of Generation Um. Why is the sight of this man eating alone in public so damn funny? Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

[The actress wins a movie prize at the International Film Festival of San Sebastian. Image: Bauer-Griffin]

[Traveling pants cultist Blake Lively filming "Gossip Girl" with Joan's husband from "Mad Men" in New York today. Image: Bauer-Griffin]

Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine and now TMZ reports she failed a second test, this time for amphetamines. Possibly it was due to her Adderall prescription. Update: An arrest warrant has been issued for LiLo.

Oliver Stone says he cut Donald Trump's cameo out of Wall Street 2 because he was too "distracting." Maybe it wasn't his presence in the movie but the obvious presence in his pants that got him cut?

Adam Lambert has been accused of battery after getting in a tussle with a Miami paparazzo. A friend pulled the be-hatted American Idol runner-up off the photog, but not before he suffered some dino-damage. Bonus action shot after the jump.

Nadya Suleman has finally run through her resources. Kim Kardashian takes legal action over a blow-up doll. Oksana Grigorieva may have tried to kill a porn star. Bob Barker collapses at a gun range. TGIFriday gossip.

[After the terrible failure of Joey, Matt LeBlanc needs a little relaxation. Outside a London pub, he pinches his fingers, curls his pinkie, and enjoys a hand-rolled smoking device of some sort. Whatever could be in it? Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

Failed Christian rock singer and current national embarrassment Katy Perry was performing at her old Santa Barbara high school on Tuesday when she spotted a former crush in the audience. She decided then to dedicate her worst song to him.