Mr. Mariah Carey seeks sponsors for his birthday party. Paris Hilton "quits the club scene." Liza Minnelli celebrates photo retouching. Lindsay Lohan gets a job. Wednesday gossip will get you through the hump of the week.

  • Nick Cannon is seeking corporate sponsors for his 30th birthday party. He will tweet three times for anyone who puts up $25,000 of merchandise. $15,000 earns one tweet, and $2500 earns the right to be in the gift bag. Ever since he hooked up with Mariah, the man's been an endorsement machine. If there's one thing Mimi knows, it's how to wring every last dollar out of any situation. [P6, image of Nick and Mariah via Bauer-Griffin]
  • Bristol Palin went to a bar in Alaska, which has tongues wagging because she's under 21, but the place is "also a restaurant," and apparently Bristol just wanted nachos. Someone needs to make a "leave Bristol alone" video. [TMZ]
  • "EXCLUSIVE: Paris Hilton To Quit Club Scene." There are two ways to score an exclusive in the wild world of celebrity reporting: (1.) Snag a scoop. (2.) Report something nobody else will touch because it is so transparently untrue. [Radar]

Remember yesterday's report that Lindsay Lohan was seeking $10,000 for her final pre-rehab paparazzi pictures? Well, here they are! She posed holding The Power of Rest by Dr. Matthew Edlund. (Paid sponsor?) This is so embarrassingly transparent, it's veering into Speidi territory. [Radar]

  • Kristen Stewart "fears Emma Watson is trying to steal" Robert Pattinson, reports the ever-dishy (but generally false) British gossip rag Heat. Rob knows Emma from the first Harry Potter movie, and though the rumor about him co-starring with Emma in "steamy art flick" Dark Arc have been put to rest, Heat claims Rob "commented on how cute he thinks Emma is and Kristen worries that he would have more in common with her because she's British." Also, Emma once characterized Twilight as "selling sex," and Kristen was all, "You just call me a whore?" and Emma was all, "No, but your boyfriend calls me that when he comes [three snaps]" Well, maybe. [Heat]
  • Heidi Klum and Seal made a naked music video together. "It's the story of two people in love." Two people who like fucking. [Us]
  • At a Great Sports Legends Dinner, Bill Clinton mused about blonde golf hottie Annika Soremstam, "I've dreamed of getting a lesson from Annika Sorenstam." The room filled with "nervous laughter." The man just can't help himself, can he? [Gatecrasher]
  • Julianne Moore's daughter is a Selena Gomez fan. She took her to wait in line to meet Selena at at K-Mart. Why is it so adorable when celebrities do normal stuff, like wait in line with their kids? [P6]

Liza Minnelli on the cover of her new CD: "Have ever seen so much retouching? But I look swell. Sometimes I even fool myself into thinking that I really look like that." [P6]

  • George Clooney ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson is backing to working as a cocktail waitress at a 58th St. club. Apparently being touched by the blessed one doesn't make all your dreams come true. (She's still an aspiring yoga instructor.) [P6]
  • Disgraced former Connecticut Gov. John Rowland went with his wife to an elementary school's charity craft fair, but "balked at the $5 admission fee and returned to their car without contributing." Apparently ten months in jail for corruption didn't break Rowland of his farcically evil greed. [P6]
  • Lady boxer, former Dancing with the Stars contestant, and current American Gladiator host Laila Ali is pregnant. Her third child is due in April. [People]
  • Seth Rogen finally popped the question to longtime girlfriend Lauren Miller. She said yes. [L&S]