[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Panic broke out at the OneXOne gala Saturday night in Calgary, when a group of African schoolchildren wearing traditional garb and posing sweetly for the cameras were sent fleeing for their lives as charity-spokesperson Ben Affleck plunged his face—"Like nothing I have ever seen!" one was later quoted as saying, "It was the size of five regular-man's heads!"—into the shot. Once order had been restored, the frightened boys were reintroduced to the star, whose work they were unfamiliar with ("Gone Baby Gone? National Board of Review winner for best director? No? What about Armageddon? They must have that one at Africa Blockbuster?").

Here we go again! VH1 (who else?) has just greenlit Scream Queens, a reality show in which 10 unknown actresses desperate to be the next Jamie Lee Curtis or Janet Leigh will compete for a starring role in an upcoming “major” Lionsgate film. And boy are they excited — one Lionsgate rep tells THR that “discovering new talent is always exciting,” while another chimes in by teaching us that “VH1 has had a tremendous track record in launching alternative programming that captures viewers' imaginations.” Yes, yes it does! Our brains have been expanded by Viacom's ongoing carnival featuring women degrading themselves in hot tubs and music execs attempting to Make A Band, Any Band Will Do quarter after quarter. But with a reputable horror studio behind Scream Queens and the fact that scary movies have launched more than a few major careers, this one may put its You’re The One That I Want and It Factor predecessors to shame. We look back at five recent Next Big Thing reality shows in an effort to place our bets:

Sorry boys, It appears as if Scarlett Johansson really is taken. As we noted yesterday, 2006's Sexiest Woman Alive got engaged to equally easy-on-the-eyes boyfriend Ryan Reynolds, and judging from ScarJo's behavior last night at the Costume Institute Gala, the soon-to-be-bride appears incapable of hiding her joy. All smiles as she walked the carpet, Johansson even did the paparazzi a favor by flashing her new rock, and her choice to wear an off-white demure dress helped us paint some mental images of her upcoming walk down the aisle. But how does her ring compare to infamous engagement rings of the past (J. Lo's sad pink diamond monster mid-Bennifer trainwreck) and rings recently sported by newly engaged stars like Mariah Carey and Ashlee Simpson? We compare and contrast after the jump.

While AOL has put together a rosy list of the "hottest on-set hookups," complete with lusty make-out pictures and lovey-dovey tales from between the sheets, we feel obligated to point out that not every "hot" and heavy on-set romance leads to a fairy tale ending. In fact, a few of these couples' choices to get busy in between scenes wreaked havoc on both their personal and professional lives, leading some to lose their spouses, their reps and, in Angelina Jolie's case, a tattoo or two. We put together our own list of the top five most ill-fated on-set hookups, mainly to remind these bed-hopping stars that sometimes it's best to just say no to illicit trailer sex.

Will.i.am's rousing pro-Obama anthem "We Are the Ones", follow-up to his similarly star-studded "Yes We Can", features Jessica Alba, Ryan Phillippe, Kerry Washington, George Lopez, Eric Mabius, John Leguizamo, Ben McKenzie, Macy Gray and the Black Eyed Peas. Jimmy Kimmel's "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck," his response to his girlfriend's viral hit, "I'm Fucking Matt Damon", features Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Joan Jett, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Benji and Joel Madden, Lance Bass, Josh Groban, Christina Applegate, Rebecca Romijn, Dominic Monaghan, Meatloaf, Dicky Barrett, Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse, Huey Lewis, and Josh Groban. Advantage: Kimmel. Masturbatory in-jokes about celebrity—still slightly more popular than earnest political pandering! (Also Macy Gray will pretty much show up for anything if you call.)

We take a breather from all things Oscar to celebrate another star-filled reacharound: The premiere of "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. It was, of course, the response song to "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman's danceable, genre-hopping paean to cuckoldry, delivered as a Valentine to her sweetie on the 5th anniversary of his show.

The long-running "feud" between Matt Damon and late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel reached new heights earlier this month when Damon shot a video in which Kimmel's comedian girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, declared she was "fucking Matt Damon." Immediately after the Oscars last night, Kimmel fired back with a truly epic effort called "I'm fucking Ben Affleck," which included appearances from celebrities like Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams and Huey Lewis, to name just a few. The Kimmel-Damon fight is, of course, wholly manufactured, but at least has been consistently funny, starting with Kimmel's regular end-of-show gag, "Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," and extending through to Damon's on-air tantrum about getting bumped and two gags involving Kimmel's special correspondent, Guillermo. Kimmel's latest Ben Affleck video takes the joke to new lengths — and new heights in the art of free PR:

• Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel is, or will soon be, fucking Ben Affleck. Or at least he kind of wishes. [NYP]

Today's Page Six provides a vehicle for Details editor Dan Peres to either school or destroy his former staffer and current freelancer Bart Blasengame. In a December editor's letter editor's note, Peres claims that Blasengame (who goes unnamed) printed a quote by Ben Affleck that Affleck "never made." Also, the article (which lacked the writer's byline) "implied" that Affleck might leave L.A.—but Peres writes that was a "statement" that Affleck never issued. A Details publicist then says that the Details editor and Ben Affleck are "good friends," and says that "Dan realized there were things taken out of context." What now? Were things taken out of context—or were they invented, as Peres says? Because there's a really serious line there to be considered before destroying someone's career in journalism to appease a snippy star. These are the kind of things that keep lawyers very busy! Blasengame did not return an email this morning. Details recently killed his story on Sarah Silverman, which then appeared in Nerve.

There's long been a dearth of good movies set in (and especially filmed in) poor Boston (a.k.a. "Philly On the Charles"). Except The Departed and Mystic River but both of those were by dudes from real places (New York and California, specifically). So Slate's Patrick Radden Keefe is kinda excited about this new movie from Ben "Almost From Boston" Affleck, We Own the Gone Baby Gangster Clayton. Marky Mark and Russell Crowe are in it probably? But it was filmed in the real-life Boston with real-life Bostonians! Except the Bostonians were a little too "real life" and they make Boston look bad.

Hey, you know what? Bill Maher would make an awesome high school principal! (A mouthy, obscene and lecherous one, but still.) During Friday's live broadcast of his HBO show, "Real Time With Bill Maher," (a show responsible for revealing the comedic political genius of regular guest Ben Affleck—no, seriously), Maher took care of business when his crack security team proved not to be. Maher tried to make light of a heckling 9/11 conspiracy theorist working the room: Chris Matthews, Joel Stein and Congresswoman Sheila Jackson sat quietly by. (Who knew Matthews was such a pussy? Stein, yeah, but Matthews?) Heckler #1 got tossed by Maher but still had some friends in the audience—Maher's best line came when he got back to the stage to yet more shouting. "I'll kick your ass outta here too! Hey! This isn't the Iowa caucus, okay? it's not a debate, it's a debate between us; you're in the audience. Audience comes from the Latin, to listen."

Take a quick peek out of your window: If the surrounding area is not being ravaged by wildfires, proceed to the weekend's box office numbers and begin your week:

The date: October 9, 2007
The place: 43rd and Broadway
Sighted: "Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony came out of the elevators as I was walking through my lobby this morning. She looked gorgeous and was dressed in quite a baggy shirt... hmmm. And Skeletor was... well... skeletal."

· Just for the proverbial shits n' giggles, here's another clip from Dr. Phil's Late Show appearance last night. Panties, or the lack thereof, are discussed.
· The LAT gets to know Hoboken Beach Diet Guy, with whom you're already probably pretty well acquainted by now.
· Leave Britney Alone Guy gets his Gallery of the Absurd moment. Also, his Howard Stern moment. And his ABC News moment.
· Ben Affleck's Gone Baby Gone might not become a huge hit in the UK.

According to a review in THR, Gone Baby Gone is "going to be remembered as one of the best crime movies of this decade." Yup, the Gone Baby Gone directed by Ben Affleck. [THR/Reuters]

· A giant wrecking ball "made to look like it's smashing the facade of the fascist-era Palazzo del Cinema" made for a unique and creative conversation piece to kick off the Venice Film Festival, but placing a flattened and spread-eagled adhesive image of Lindsay Lohan on it bordered on bad taste. [Variety]
· What happens when you get overpaid to underperform? You get sent to a war zone, that's what! [Variety]
· New CBS game show Power of 10 scored its highest ratings yet with a crossover episode in which Big Brother houseguests faced off for big money prizes. Contestant Amber came away with $1000, for correctly predicting the percentage of Americans who think all Jews are money-grubbing, cloven-hoofed heathens who can never be trusted. (A whopping 38%!)
· Jeremy Davies has been cast in a "heavily recurring" role on the next season of Lost, playing a "mysterious new character whose bellybutton needs to be poked every 108 minutes." [THR]
· Ben Affleck is just the latest in a veritable constellation of stars who have signed on to He's Just Not That Into You, the movie based on the book based on the Sex and the City phrase that, quite frankly, we dearly wish had never been uttered. [THR]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the life-altering moment in which you witnessed Chad Lowe eating a sandwich at a diner counter.