A 50-year-old man was caught having sex with a pit bull while on a tour of a Chicago pound.

A man in Michigan convicted of having sex with his pet pit bull faces a 15-year jail sentence for the crime. 37-year-old Kurtis Peterson, who was convicted of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct in 1996, was caught having sex with the dog on two separate occasions. The same (unfortunate) person caught Peterson each time.

Chris Heath warns you up high in his GQ cover story on Robert Downey Jr., that: "Conversations with Robert Downey Jr. are rarely linear, and sometimes it takes a moment to realize how one thing might relate to the next." Yes, this seems to be the perfect way to set up the inscrutable parallel the actor draws to overly emotional acting and bestiality porn (not that he's watched it, he's just seen it being sold in Amsterdam...). Here is the powerful exchange:

Was this young lady drunk? Temporarily deranged? Did she lose a bet? Was the tattoo artist best friends with an ex-boyfriend on whom she cheated numerous times?

In a last-ditch effort to convince a pair of pandas to take advantage of their brief annual breeding season, scientists at China's Chengdu Research Base for Giant Panda Breeding turned to good ol' fashioned panda porn.

The "advocacy group" One Million Moms is at it again. The group/collection of homophobic trolls, best known for protesting JCPenny not once but twice, has recently carved out a bizarre niche market for themselves by accusing popular commercials of promoting bestiality. Last year, it was Skittles; this year, it's GEICO, for the insurance company's creepy commercials in which a pig spends time with a young woman in a convertible. As ABC News describes the commercial:

Police in Las Vegas were called to the home of a 23-year-old woman earlier this week after her neighbors complained that she was having sex with a pit bull in broad daylight in her own backyard.

What the hell is up with some people, am I right? Specifically the ones who breastfeed their dogs.

Last March, Sarah Walker and her husband were arrested for soliciting a golden shepherd for sex via a Craigslist ad titled "Wife looking for K9." In June, both her and the husband escaped with probation after pleading guilty to charges of "conspiracy to commit bestiality."

On the one hand, we shouldn't really give One Million Moms any more attention: they're trolls, not a legitimate political advocacy group, and if we ignore them, maybe they'll go away.

Florida's State Attorney was looking forward to taking the Sunshine State's newly minted anti-bestiality law out for a spin on Eric Antunes of Clearwater, but the heavy-petter was spared because of a loophole that makes it technically legal to perform oral sex on an animal.

Arizona couple Shane and Sarah Walker were arrested for trying to fuck a dog. Their first mistake, it seems, was all in the Craigslist ad they posted: "Wife looking for K9." Sure it's simple and it's concise, but posted in the personal ads, it doesn't leave a whole lot of mystery. Mystery, say, in case an undercover animal crimes detective is prowling the site looking for just such a couple to take down in a sting, all To Catch a Predator style.

When Slate advice column Dear Prudence explored gay male twin fucking, I assumed it was an aberration in a column otherwise devoted to wedding etiquette and mother-in-law woes. But what if Dear Prudence is actually on the cutting edge of human sexuality? What if Dear Prudence is the Penthouse Letters of tongue-clucking suburbanites?

Richard Cebull, chief U.S. district judge of Montana, has issued an apology for sending an email that equated interracial sex with bestiality and accusing Barack Obama's mother of having sex with a dog. In an open letter on official court letterhead, Cebull writes,

Chief U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull has admitted to sending a mass email joking that Barack Obama is black because his mother slept around so much, she even had sex with a dog. Cebull swears he's not a racist, though.

Congratulations, America: you've gotten what you wished for. You elected Barack "Hussein" Obama as commander in chief. He quickly allowed homosexuals to serve as proud members of the US Armed Forces, standing buttock-to-buttock in foxholes next to normal young American boys. (After the war is over, they can marry, now.) It was only a matter of time before our fighting men were encouraged to start fucking dogs.

Men who put their penises in animals have a higher likelihood of penis cancer, a new study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reports:

On the eve of Florida's bestiality ban, let's catch up with zoophilic memoirist Malcolm Brenner, whose book Wet Goddess describes a nine-month sexual relationship with a theme park dolphin in Sarasota. After two weeks living in the eye of a bestiality news storm, Brenner lost his job as a photographer and endured harassment. But he's also had sucess: Orders for his book are pouring in faster than he can fill them. He is in touch with an editor at a "large New York publishing house," and has told his story to audiences as far away as India.

Today is the last day that you can legally fuck an animal in Florida. At the stroke of midnight on October 1st, the Sunshine State's new anti-bestiality law goes into effect, forbidding "sexual contact" and "sexual conduct" with "animals." (So it might be illegal to have sex with other humans, too. Molds and fungi, however, are fair game.) Floridians: How do you plan to spend these precious final hours of legal bestiality?

Bestiality advocate Malcolm Brenner—author of famed dolphin sex memoir Wet Goddess—is back in the spotlight!