The Old Testament. It's been kinda important to much of human civilization going back a fair stretch. It's also a sham! Your cherished psalms and stories of ritualistic filicide are no longer any match for Israelis with radiocarbon dating equipment, sheeple!
All the good superheroes are used up, so the next fun entertainment for Americans will be various sequels and spinoffs from the Holy Bible. A lot of Americans still claim to believe in the Christian religion: 77 percent say they still follow the breakaway Jewish sect, which remains a huge demographic even if it's down considerably from its 90 percent market penetration a half century ago.
Simcha Jacobovici, the Canadian documentary director who claimed in 2011 to have found two of the nails used to crucify Jesus, is suing archaeologist Joe Zias for libel. There are few things more enjoyable than fights between academics, particularly when one of the academics is being accused of pandering and sensationalism. The blog posts fly thick and fast, the Change.org petitions sing with wounded intellectual pride ("we the undersigned simply and collegially request that Mr. Jacobovici abandon his lawsuit"), and everyone gets a chance to play.
If you speak Hebrew, the Israeli Defense Forces would like you to refer to the wave of assassination strikes it commenced in Gaza today as "Pillar of Cloud," a Biblical reference to the form God adopted in order to protect the Children of Israel and strike terror into the heart of Egyptians. If you speak English, it would prefer you to use the less fanatical "Pillar of Defense."
A handful of Pennsylvania legislators claim they were duped into supporting a measure that would make 2012 "the Year of the Bible" and have asked the state House of Representatives to reconsider its adoption of the resolution.
A Florida woman faces a charge of battery causing bodily harm after breaking the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not throw thy Bible at thy son's girlfriend. She is literally a Bible beater.
Catholic Bishops have ordered that a new translation of the bible replace the word "booty" (heh) with "spoils" of war. "We needed a new translation because English is a living language," said one of the members of the team in charge of the revisions. So now when God comes down from heaven and says to Abraham that his wife has a "banging booty," it will be "banging spoils of war". Wait... that was part of the Bible, right? [USA Today]
Most people are familiar with the Bible's story of creation—you know, the "And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light" one. Well, what if it was a seven-level 8-bit video game? Find out inside.
This isn't crazy, or terrifying: alongside Robert Draper's GQ piece on Donald Rumsfeld being called out by former colleagues, they're running covers of his White House morning defense briefings. You have to see these.
