Let's face it: Bicycle riding—while not as overtly menacing as, say, motorcyles—can be a dangerous enterprise. If you ride your bike in the city you are constantly running the risk of getting hit by a car, facing a criminal case of crotch rash, or ruining your lungs. Add that to police crackdowns, and you've got serious physical and financial risks to consider before hopping on your fixed gear. It doesn't end there.

The best sketch from an otherwise subpar episode of Portlandia featured Fred and Carrie doing another experiment with off-beat entrepreneurialism. In the past, we've seen them try to be movers who only biked across town or environmentalists who start their own recycling firm. This week, they were bike valets, in a sketch that highlights the contradiction between Portland's earthy bike culture and the service-y realm of valet parking. The business didn't work, but the sketch sure did.

Have you ever been waiting patiently to cross the street, then when it's finally your turn, there's some jerk riding a bike down the middle of the road and you wish you could just run out there and ram right into him but you don't, of course, because then you'd be injured and/or in trouble? Well, this South African Red Hartebeest (let's call him Buck Norris) knows nothing about this "timidity" of which you speak. [via Doobybrain]

Japanese toilet maker Toto has invented the world's first Toilet Bike, which converts human poop "harvested directly from the driver" into biogas, Treehugger reports.* The seat is a toilet, so if you ride it with your pants down, you could theoretically defecate while you ride, thereby fueling it.

Aside from the issues of safety and the ongoing bike lane wars there's another reason that riding your bike in the city sucks: it makes your lungs black.

It's happened to every biker. A flat tire in an inconvenient place on your commute, and the nearest bike shop is a long walk away. Most casual bikers don't carry extra tubes or tools with them; and so any repair work on the road can mean an end to a bike ride, and potentially leaving your bike locked up somewhere slowly rusting as you forget about it in your frustration. That's why the idea of the Bike Fixtation is so brilliant: a place for you to buy new parts and then install them yourself.

Nobody bats an eye if a bike gets stolen, or even if two or three bikes get stolen off the same rack. But stealing three dozen fucking bikes at once? That's when you have to stand up and admit: "You, sir or sirs or madam or madams, are an ambitious and talented bicycle thief or thieves whose 'can-do' attitude will take you far in the world of thievery."

Hipsters love bikes. They also love wine. But because stuffing a bottle of red in your messenger bag before pedaling down to the park for a picnic is totally déclassé, it hasn't been possible to marry the two. Until now, that is. Etsy user oopsmark is now offering a "Bicycle Wine Rack," which is described thusly:

Is the 2011 Tour de France cursed? Just one week after a spectator caused the massive pile-up at the beginning of the granddaddy of all bicycle races, a car covering the race for a French TV station sideswiped Juan Antonio Flecha during today's ninth stage.

The 2011 Tour de France got off on the wrong foot Saturday when a spectator leaned too far into the track, causing a massive pile-up that brought down dozens of racers.

There are senseless crimes and there is this. Four guys hanging out in Brooklyn early yesterday morning chopped down a tree so that they could steal the bike that was chained to it.

Cyclists, pedestrians, drivers—we're all endlessly reckless in our self transit, it turns out. Just watch all the near death experiences at this single New York intersection.

Today we looked at the raging debate over New York's bike lanes, with strong voices on both sides speaking their piece. Bicyclists are annoying menaces that don't follow traffic laws! Motorists are careless and don't care about helpless bikers! Etc. In truth, bicycle people can sometimes come off a bit more on the self-righteous side than the non-bicyclists, but not this person, thankfully.

Why is everyone so damn worked up bike lanes, those green strips of pavement that have been popping up all over New York (and causing disputes) in the past few years? A New Yorker scribe is virulently opposed to them, and now everyone seems opposed to him.

Apparently, the Indian Army does a motorbike exhibition where they just show off all the crazy things they can do on their bikes. I bet these skills come in handy when they fight terrorists on Harley-Davidsons.

Ever wonder what's it's like to race a bike from one tip of Manhattan to the other? Now you can practically sit on the handlebars as one rider takes you on his winning obstacle-laden journey downtown.

Danny MacAskill is a beast. After his first video featuring him riding through Edinburgh basically doing bike parkour, he decided to take a field trip, and get a better camera. Same inspirational soundtrack, more bike stunt glory inside.

While riding in a BMX event in Las Vegas on Thursday night, MTV Real World/Road Rules Challenge host TJ Lavin took a terrible spill and is now in a medically induced coma. Video of his terrible crash inside.

If this cold, rainy day makes you miss summer, this video of some college kids vaulting themselves into a pond may make you miss it more. Guess this is just one more thing to add to our bucket lists!

[A young man rides his bike through a flaming garbage dump in Changchun, China, where environmental pollution goes virtually unchecked. Image via Getty]