Snippets of the guest list to 2010's biggest Democratic fundraiser, "Chelsea Clinton's wedding," have been released, and it looks like DNC operatives were able to squeeze in Barack Obama. And Oprah! Who else snagged an invite to this hoity-toity shakedown?

[Former President Bill Clinton and actor Sean Penn shake hands in Haiti during a memorial ceremony for the sixth-month anniversary of the devastating earthquake in Port-Au-Prince as Haitian President Rene Preval looks on worriedly. Pic via AP.]

Bill Clinton has been everywhere recently! Drinking in the World Cup locker room, presiding at weddings, fixing Haiti. But will he go see an in-the-works opera, Billy Blythe, about his horrible, abusive childhood, when it hits Little Rock? [USNews]

Bill Clinton, needing an ego fix, will preside at Rep. Anthony Weiner's wedding tomorrow.

Yesterday the Clintons feted soon-to-be-married Rep. Anthony Weiner and Hillary's longtime assistant, Huma Abedin, whom people used to think was Hillary's lesbian lover. Bill commented, "If I had a second daughter, it would Huma." Maybe he does, maybe she is?

Accused spy Anna Chapman wasn't the only suspected Russian agent on Facebook. A tipster with access to co-defendant Mikhail Semenko's Facebook photos sent us some of his pictures. Want to see an alleged spy in a Bill Clinton costume?

The world recoils at the news that a supermodel is not completely flawless, just mostly flawless. Jeremy Piven drops his cellphone in the toilet. Kristen Stewart has a litter of half-wolf hybrids. Tuesday gossip confirms what you already knew.

A big "win" today for our more bomb-minded armchair engineers: ol' Bill Clinton says it "may become necessary" for the military to bomb the leaking BP well — but not with nukes, sadly. Come on, Clinton! Dream big.

[Former President Bill Clinton and U.S. soccer center-back Carlos Bocanegra celebrate the U.S. win over Algeria. Bill has been enjoying himself so much he's staying for Saturday's game against Ghana. Via Sports Illustrated writer Luke Winn's Twitter.]

Bill Clinton rescued Laura Ling from North Korean imprisonment; now, Laura Ling is naming her baby after Bill Clinton. He's not the dad. Okay? Seriously. We knew this was coming as soon as we saw this picture, though. [Pic: AP]

Bill Clinton, who is no longer the President, still gets a big old motorcade, which is a good thing, because he needs several extra vehicles around him to fend off the multiple slack-jawed civilians sideswiping him at every turn.

Dennis Quaid was given the choice to wearing a fat suit for his part in HBO's The Special Relationship. Instead, he went the method-actor route and packed on 35 pounds by hitting up McDonalds almost every day.

Bill Clinton his helping Hillary pay down her campaign debt by auctioning himself. "How would you like the chance to come up to New York and spend the day with me," he emailed her donors. [Times of London]

Last Friday, The Wrap reported that The New Yorker was being pressured by billionaire Hollywood power broker and Clinton pal Haim Saban to remove politically (and economically) sensitive portions of a massive new profile of Saban. It didn't work.

[Bill Clinton on his wife Hillary's longevity should she be nominated as a justice on the Supreme Court. Image via Getty]

Because Bill Clinton politely asked fringe conservatives to stop encouraging violence against the government on the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, Michele Bachmann has decided that he wants to "take her out." In a killing sense. Not romantically.

Bill Clinton says he's too old to be a good Supreme Court pick for Obama.

Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!

A new study about sexual habits and a memoir continue the nation's obsession with the former Commanding Member-in-Chief. It caused one of the great national scandals of our day, but it is time to give the old boy a rest.

Dan Quayle is still mad at Ross Perot for putting Bill Clinton in office or something.