Supermarket owner Ron Burkle and Bill Clinton were friends. They flew around on Burkle's private jet and made each other lots and lots of money. Now they have broken up, and they are not friends. And Burkle owes Bill money!

Sure, he may be uncomfortable with the impoverished, but we should just be proud of former President Bush for making is through this whole visit to Haiti without one of his trademark hilarious verbal goof-ups, like "we don't torture.")

Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush went to Haiti, and it seems Bush was afraid of catching something—watch as he not-so-surreptitiously wipes his hand on Clinton's shirt after a handshake.

Lindsay Lohan's new (alleged) lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, is of course a crazy fameball who likes to have her picture taken with her horrible clients, like Michael Lohan. Here are some Facebook photos to that effect.

Speculation as to when or whether David Paterson is going to resign as governor is entirely pointless. He doesn't know himself. He will probably decide to, and then change his mind, three times today. But it probably won't happen today!

As the heat from the Tiger Woods sex scandal cools, the once paparazzi plagued Rachel Uchitel will again settle into the cold grip of obscurity. She is one of scandal's secondary players, and we are done with her.

Former President Bill Clinton is already up and at 'em, just one day after having surgery to place two stents into his coronary artery. This afternoon, Clinton spoke to reporters and greeted various well-wishers outside of his Chappaqua, NY home.

Bil Clinton has left hospital and is expected to be back to work on Monday.

Everyone quit yer worrying about Bill Clinton: He's fine. His cardiologist, Dr. Alan Schwartz, just held a press conference where we learned Clinton will be headed home tomorrow.

ABC News just broke into regular programming to report that Bill Clinton has been hospitalized in New York with heart pain.

A reader writes in: "Did Andrea Peyser foreshadow Clinton's trip to the hospital today? Sure seems like it." [NYP]

Bill Clinton was rushed to the hospital earlier today after complaining of chest pains. He's at Columbia-Presbyterian, which is where he had a quadruple bypass operation in 2004. [Fox News, related]

Do you have spending freeze fever? Are you psyched for an increase in the child tax credit? Are you concerned about bioterror? Then does Barack Obama have a State of the Union for you!

This is usually the time of year when politicians, big-shot bankers, and top diplomats converge on Davos, Switzerland for the annual World Economic Forum. But like last year, the event is expected to be far more downbeat than in years past when Angelina Jolie turned up to discuss global poverty and Naomi Campbell strutted around the Alpine village in very fashionable après-ski attire. This year the best attendees can look forward to is catching a glimpse of Chinese pianist Lang Lang or self-important director James Cameron. Depressing!

Yesterday, Barack Obama announced that George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were going to be appointed to head up a major fundraising effort for Haiti. Bush and Clinton appeared together on Face the Nation after. Cute presidential hijinks ensued.

Why won't Mark Halperin and John Heilemann tell us who Bill Clinton was sleeping with? This may sound like a plea from a shameless scandal-merchant for more grist, but it is actually an honest question: what makes that information privileged?

Wacky Korean nation North Korea is calling for peace treaty talks with the US—just months after Bill Clinton went there to save two reporters and took fun fotos with Kim Jong-Il. Coincidence? Bill Clinton wins Nobel Peace Prize 2010!

• Jake Gyllenhaal just split up with Reese Witherspoon. Has he already moved on with Anne Hathaway? That's what the National Enquirer is suggesting. So it could be true, but it could also be totally made up. [ShowbizSpy]
• In other Anne Hathaway news, it turns out the guy who crashed his bike into the car she was sitting in earlier this week was a paparazzo. [AP]
• Demi Moore posted a pic of herself to Twitter—it was an outtake from a recent Harper's Bazaar photo shoot—and fellow Twitter users unleashed their wrath, suggesting the photos had been Photoshopped and telling her she looked old. "I'm 47. How am I supposed to look?" she responded. This actually makes us feel a bit bad for Demi, which isn't something that happens very often. [Us]
• "Snooki" (Nicole Polizzi) from MTV's Jersey Shore has been fired from her receptionist job for taking time off to go to LA to promote the show. (She's not too broken up about it. She got to hang out with Kristin Cavallari while she was there, so it was totally worth it.) In other Snooki news, the guy who punched her in the face on the show, a scene MTV censored, says he's sorry. [NYDN, Us]

• Tiger Woods released a statement this morning: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. [TMZ]
• One thing that may have pushed Tiger to finally issue the apology: While Rachel Uchitel didn't want to cop to hooking up with Woods, two other women turned up to take her place yesterday. A 24-year-old waitress named Jaimee Grubbs appeared with tawdry text messages from Woods to back up her story. (Sample: "I will wear you out!") And a Vegas club manager came out to say she's been having an affair with him "for some time." [Us, NYP, NYDN]
• Tiger won't face criminal charges for crashing his SUV outside his Florida home. He's getting a traffic ticket and may pay a $164 fine. [Us]
• Bill Clinton is pumped his daughter Chelsea is marrying investment banker Marc Mezvinsky because, Bill says, Marc is a "great human being." Not only that, but when Hillary is traveling, Chelsea and Marc take pity on poor old Bill and take him to dinner and the movies. [People]
• Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich just bought a $90 million estate in St. Barts and now everyone is expecting him to throw the "It" Christmas party of the year. No word on whether the Salahis were invited. Not that the lack of an invite will stop them from attending anyway, of course. [P6]

Why, oh, why did Newsweek allow Bill Clinton to contribute to a feature called The Decade's Happiest Endings?