Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!

According to the National Enquirer—which may be just hours away from winning a Pulitzer(??)—Martha is totally stalking Bill Clinton while Hillary is away, because Martha Stewart loves Bill Clinton, in that way. Martha sent Bill a nice letter, the Enquirer says, and next thing you know, there she is, all up in his crib:

Recently, Bill invited Martha to dinner at the house in Chappaqua when Hillary was overseas.

"Martha was thrilled when it turned out to be just the two of them - with candlelight, champagne and a famous chef cooking a gourmet meal.

"When Hillary heard about it from her household spies, she blew up!"

Yeesh, and this just after Martha's best frenemy accused her of being a jealous cockblocker and sexxxily manipulating the media. Martha, you simply must defend yourself. Email us your side of the story at once, and we will post it here, on the internet, for all to peruse. This one-sided feud has gone on long enough.
[National Enquirer]