Thanksgiving Proclamations are, for the most part, pretty routine. Namecheck settlers, Washington, Lincoln, God, and our Troops. Encourage people to give thanks. The end. But there are some key differences between a Bush declaration and an Obama declaration!

Courtney Love bid $120,000 at last night's Elton John Foundation benefit lto go out on a date with Bill Clinton. Fortunately for the former president, Love didn't end up winning the auction. But that's okay. She has fond memories of meeting Hillary Clinton a few years ago: "I had breakfast with [Hillary Clinton] once at the Chateau Marmont in about 2004. We have the same hairdresser. We had a great breakfast—she's great, she gossips. We gossiped and we talked about corporate mergers. She's a lot more fun than you would think." [NYM/Vulture]

Rihanna and Chris Brown continue to use domestic violence to sell things, the Hoff beats up old people, Clinton and Bush refuse to savage each other for money, Madonna may or may not be a bad girlfriend, and more!

To commemorate the event, in addition to We the People, Edward Norton's HBO documentary that brought a tear to Obama's eye (aww, remember when everybody loved him?), campaign manager David Plouffe has a new memoir out called The Audacity to Win.

[Bill Clinton has some sound advice for a young Italian man outside of his hotel in Milan today. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Hey everyone, Barack Obama is having a late lunch at Craftsteak right now! It's the latest of the safe choices the president has made when dining out in our fair city. What do his dining choices say about him?

Former President Bill Clinton has a protected twitter account, blocking access unless you're one of the six people he's deemed Bubba worthy. Does a twitter glitch allow anyone to glimpse at what Bill's tweeting? We investigate.

Kristen Stewart hates talking Twilight as much as I do. Jimmy Kimmel's schtupping his writer, A-Rod's batting better when schtupping Kate Hudson, Miley Cyrus sucks at tipping, Jon Gosselin sucks like he did yesterday. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Now here's a scandal we sink our teeth into: Herman Thomas, a judge from Alabama, will stand trial for allegedly spanking inmates with paddles and, also, having sex with them. The putrid tale's a collection of sensational twists. Or devices.

Since David Letterman went public about having sex with members on his staff, one of his myriad humiliations is having all those millions of "sex with interns" jokes he made about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky turned back at him.

So, here they are: David Letterman's remarks on how he had "creepy" sex with an indeterminate amount of female staffers and was then extorted. Considering Letterman has long used affairs as punchlines, should we run him out of town?

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]

Sheesh! It's like the 90s all over again. First we have a controversy over the Oklahoma City bombing and now Bill Clinton's talking about a "vast right-wing conspiracy" aimed at Obama. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all.

Gov. David Paterson wasn't in a good mood yesterday. Still on the defensive following the revelation over the weekend that President Obama has been quietly (or not-so-quietly) urging him to abandon his 2010 gubernatorial campaign, the governor had to come face to face with the president when Obama stopped off in Albany yesterday to give a speech. (And had to suffer the embarrassment of having the president turn his back to the cameras, "as if to avoid the taking of images that would show the two men in a warm embrace.") But what a difference a day makes!

Will Jessica Simpson survive her dog's death? Did Anna Wintour survive sitting next to Pixie Geldof? Did Lindsay know her burglar? Did Anna Nicole's doctors know pills would kill her? Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

In case you missed the endless stream of lies Bill Clinton told about himself and others during his presidency, it turns out he was telling other, secret lies into a tape recorder the whole time. Now you can read them.

Jessica Simpson hopes a coyote returns her dog. Bill hoped that Hillary would be Al's vice-president. And Jude Law's baby-mama hopes to make a buck. Good morning, and welcome to your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Openings: Gansevoort 69 opened today in the meatpacking space formerly occupied by Florent. And Motorino's first Manhattan outpost is now open in was once Una Pizza Napoletana. A few more openings today are here.
• Also open, but just for private parties for the time being: The Boom Boom Room, the new bar on the 18th-floor of Andre Balazs' Standard Hotel, which will open to the public on September 22. [DBTH, UrbanDaddy]
• Michael Psilakis and Donatella Arpaia are parting ways at Mia Dona. [Eater]
• Times Square's era of sleeze may soon make a return. The Box, the club co-owned by Simon Hammerstein, takes over China Club for two weeks next month to create Club Purgatorio, a "multi-level world of macabre fantasy." [GS]
• Bill Clinton and Barack Obama had lunch today at Il Mulino. In case you're wondering, the duo dined on "fish, pasta and salad." [NYT]
• Last night wasn't a great one for John Mayer. It seems he was forced to flee GoldBar after a guy at the bar was stabbed in stomach. [Page Six]

The former and current POTUS having lunch together in the West Village at Il Mulino. The secret service has been securing the location all day. Image via David Latimer's Twitter.

Tila Tequila's crazy domestic abuse squabble: drank and puked out by the D.A., while Anna Wintour gets stalked by teenage crazies. Mischa Barton channels Marissa Cooper. Mayor Bloomberg might know about Lady Gaga's peener. Presenting: your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.