Yesterday we heard about an actor from a famous family and an infamous divorce who freaked out when he saw two teenage girls in his hotel gym. He called security. Most of you think it was Charlie Sheen, which makes sense. Except wouldn't Charlie have tried to sex them? The world may never know. After the jump we have the story of an actor and an extra's coitus marathonus.

Yesterday you seemed to think that the fallen TV host resorting to porn could be former Sugar-Ray singer/Extra host Mark McGrath, former Idol host Brian Dunkleman, one-time MTV veejay/porn actor Simon Rex, or, you know, someone British. Today you're left to ponder, after the jump, a cocaine addled young lady and an actor who is afraid of teenage girls.

Rape Watch 2008 continues. Yesterday we wondered about the identity of the blind item gay rapist, going so far as to put it to a poll for y'all to answer. And answer you did, resoundingly. While Will Smith pursued his happyness to an early lead, the srsly detailed evidence that it's dreamy (sigh) Columbia-bound actor/writer James Franco eventually won you over. You can read between the lines! And, no, friends. It's not Vin Diesel. So good job there. Also, two interesting questions were posed by commenters: "I like how everyone says it can't be Christian Bale, because he's married, but no one mentions that Will Smith is married." (because it's black marriage, that doesn't count!) and "I wonder how exciting and fun-to-speculate-about this would be if the actor in question had raped a woman." (don't worry, men can take it!) So yeah. This whole thing is pretty sad, isn't it?

Yesterday you were very curious about the Olympic lady who slipped poop drugs into her teammates milkshake ("drainage!!!!") or whatever. Lots of you thought it was the perky and pleasing Shawn Johnson who got shit stormed by the cold and calculating Nastia Liukin. But you're all wrong, haha. I just put my 1994 pants on and it's Nancy Kerrrrigran and Tonya Herrrdingggg. No, no it's not. I'm sure it's ones no one's heard of. Like divers or something. Anyway, today we have a coke-addicted actor couple, a preggers actress, and a pregnant American Idoler. Enjoy! 1) "Which celeb couple like nothing more than spending a quiet night in chopping out lines of coke and egging each other on to finish gram after gram of the stuff?" [Mirror] 2) "This C+/B- list film actress with B+ name recognition is knocked up. Apparently the person who knocked her up is none other than a married director. That should all turn out well for everyone." [CDaN] 3) "Speaking of pregnant. You know the American Idol participant who was weighing the Playboy offer? Well it turns out she needs to hurry because rumor has it that she is also in the family way." [CDaN]

So, remember that blind item from Monday about the "hunk in a summer movie" who is secretly gay and violent and awful and sneaked into his boyfriend's house and raped him? It's one of the crazier blind items we've read, and has been the Talk of the Internet (the whole internet! even Alex Balk is intrigued!) this week, with people desperately trying to figure out which star is Just Like Us. I mean, not like us. The opposite of us. Out of the dense fog of speculation, three clear candidates have emerged: Christian Bale, Will Smith, and (gasp!) James Franco. Christian Bale could be the gay rapist because he already murdered his mother then salted the earth so no other moms could grow. Plus we don't know much about his personal life other than that he's married. You know, to a lady. Still, doesn't mean he's not a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding, friend of Dorothy. The scuttlebutt around the big celebrity weeklies is that it was the American Psycho who committed the heinous act. It could be Will Smith who got non-consensually jiggy because gay rumors have plagued him for years, reaching a fever pitch as fellow possible-'mo Tom Cruise led him (by which body part??!) into the dank recesses of Scientology-a supermarket checkout rack religion often thought to be a celebrity haven for gaydom and tax dodging. Plus he played a homosexual gay person in a movie once! The violence stuff would be news to me, but who knows what roiling darkness lurks in the heart of the Fresh Prince? Plus this guy says it was Will, though he implies that it was just rough sex play, not rape. And then there's the compelling case of James Franco. Basically the rumor is that Franco dated the guy about two years ago, and still had a key to his house. Guy goes to an Oscars party, comes back and Franco is waiting for him and then awfulness goes down. He's rumored to have been abusive towards an old girlfriend, also an actor, some five years ago. This makes me sad because James Franco is dreamy and oh if he were gay we'd surely be married next spring, but if he's a raper then I don't want anything to do with him and he should be in jail. So. Boo. I dunno. He does do a wicked James Dean, who, as we know, was a buggerer. Plus, he's leaving the leggy blond bimbos of Los Angeles to go to writing school in New York. That's pretty geigh. So who do you think it is? Take our Very Important Poll below and weigh in on this highly galvanizing matter. (And don't say anything stupid in the comments... it's a 'Mo News Day.)

There lots of blind items yesterday, and many disparate theories abounded. But you all seemed to agree that the comedian whose slutty, "coke fiend" of an assistant is the reason his marriage ended is none other than Mr. Robin Williams. Nanu Nanuuuu... For today we have Olympic rivalries, a bitchy TV personality, and two actresses with a little-more-than friendship that's on the rocks. 1) "Which two perky Olympian teammates are really bitter rivals? One spiked the other's protein shake with laxatives before a big competition, but her plan backfired when her nemesis not only powered through the competition but beat her so-called friend anyway." [NYDN] 2) "Which popular TV personality is decidedly less popular with his production crew? Not only is he incredibly rude, he also makes work experience lackeys do all his research for him." [Mirror] 3) "I always thought that one day these two female B list actresses (#1-tv and film equally; #2 primarily tv) with almost identical careers who are best friends would get married. Well, they still might actually, but for now they are on the outs. If I could cackle right now, I would. The two have been known to vacation with each other. However, when it came time to go this year, #1 thought she was going to have other plans, so #2 made plans with some other celebrities, because that's what celebrities do. They vacation together. Well, when #1's plans fell through she naturally thought she could tag along. Not so fast. Turns out #2, et al didn't want #1 around and #2 didn't hold back in telling her why. As in 30 minutes of telling off. Should have done that a really long time ago." [CDaN]

From yesterday's items, the consensus seems to be that the bitchy celebrity who refused to be photographed unless she was surrounded by other famous people was Madonna. And that actress wife who is abusing her actor hubby? Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Hah/sad. But, really, who knows! (Oh and that secret gay rapist actor from Monday? Some say Will Smith, others Christian Bale.) Today we have a TV star obsessed with an assistant, a fame-grubbing actress, and an American Idol who might be posing for (gasp!) Playboy. Oh, and, holy crap a ton of items from Michael Musto. 1) "Which TV star has developed an unhealthy crush on his assistant? He bombards her with inappropriate calls day and night, and even tells her about, er, special dreams he is having." [Mirror] 2) "This C/B list television actress on a very hit CBS show is tired of no one paying attention to her. So, she did what any self respecting person would do in her situation. She hired a photographer who now follows her all day in his car and takes shots of her when she gets out, when she shops, shouting her name, drawing attention, whatever he can. He then tries to interest the magazines in buying them. Hasn't really worked well so far as no one ever posts any photos of her or talks about her." [CDaN] 3) "This American Idol top 5 alum is thisclose to posing for a Playboy shoot in order to get her career back in gear again. Waiting in the wings? An alum from the same year who will only get the green light if the other alum passes on the deal." [CDaN] 4) "Do you think the fact that this funnyman has an assistant who is a coke fiend and will sleep with anyone had an effect on the breakup of his marriage?" [CDaN] 5) "Which local drag star only tops for the hottest guys? (And she gets them, honey.)" 6) "What designer's ex-boyfriend has a shady habit of trying to sneak the condom off in the middle of sex? Should he be arrested for attempted mass murder?" 7) "What local oddity, who's exceedingly large of penis, recently kept promising me future bouts of sex while more urgently milking me for tips on what fabulous parties there were to go to that week?" 8) "Who stopped e-mailing him back? Which Olympics star is rumored-and only by complete crazies, mind you-to have cut off his wee-wee so he can swim faster? Wouldn't it have been a lovely oar?" 9) "Which candidate's wife, when greeted at an invitational dinner by a designer from her hometown, looked completely stonefaced and couldn't even muster the slightest bit of charm or human connection? Did she forget she regularly shops at the store that designer is featured at?" 10) "Which late modeling titan once said of a future superstar, "I don't sign midgets," and of another closeted one, "He's too ethnic"?" 11) "Which faded action hero once crapped in the shower of a Vegas casino just because he could? (No shit!)" 12) "Which ex–child star was begged by that woozy actress to take the three-way out of her book, but got to keep it in after she threatened to put in far more damaging things?" 13) "Which young TV actress turned chick-bonding-type-movie ensemble player is supposedly so dumb she couldn't find her name on her own birth certificate if she had to?" 14) "Which toupée-wearing comic has been known to murmur, "Horny, horny, horny" in clubs while pointing at cute boys for his handlers to bring over for seduction?" 15) "Which designer is so cheap that once, instead of hiring a fitting model, she used an intern with scoliosis? Does she wonder why that line looked a little off?" 16) "What teen who was on a soap opera vividly remembers the married male 'throb of the show ringing her for attempted booty calls?" 17) "Which TV weatherman (no, not that one) broke up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend who used to berate him for being too femmy?" 18) "Which famous blogger was pitched an item by a New York daily paper's writer and responded: 'How about if the [New York daily paper] does a feature on me?'?" 19) "What heavy-metal rocker stayed true to his taste by lodging at a glamorous Holiday Inn in Jersey when he had business to do in New York?" 20 "Which abrasive royalty type from a reality show was unshockingly seen doing copious amounts of blow in a tacky nightclub? Might that explain her annoying energy level?" 21) "Which ex-discovery of that 50-year-old pop star responded to new photos of another of her ex-discoveries by saying: 'He looks beat up'?" 22) "Which same guy admits to people in clubs, "I could suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick" in between choruses of "I'm high, high, high"? (And probably horny, horny, horny.)" 23) "Which '80s sitcom diva once called the show's head writer to say of her most problematic co-star: 'We have to stop calling her a cunt. She is now officially megacunt!'?" 24) "Which manic screen comic regularly has cast members gather 'round to watch his rushes and likes them to scream with laughter over how utterly brilliant he is?" 25) "Which downtown dealer/personality no longer counts Heath Ledger as one of her clients? Is that why she seems to be in hiding?" 26) "Which famous twin not only looks homeless, she has a distinct body odor about her too, a scent some feel is based on sheer arrogance?" 27) "Speaking of which, what Broadway website editor often takes two to three weeks to answer business e-mails and then barely responds with any concrete information anyway? (When you bitch to him about this, he doesn't respond at all.)" 28) "Which Ben Franklin look-alike on the scene once offered someone $500 if she'd let him touch her penis, but the problem was she didn't have one?" 29) "Which smash comedy writer-director has a long history of 'borrowing' jokes from anyone else who's gotten a laugh with them?" 30 "Which image guru changed his own look by losing weight and shaving off his hair, then was horrified to find people were gossiping about whether he had cancer?" 31) "Which pop tart's dad has had more legal woes than the public knows about, dating back to various forms of fraud and other icky business?" 32) "Which rock star's wife recently went into a department store and started her purchasing experience by saying to the personal shopper: 'Do you know who I am?' (That's obnoxious, but probably not as bad as the more familiar 'Don't you know who I am?')" 33) "Which late tycoon would, with typical suaveness, tell people about his legendary wife: 'No one sucks dick like she does!'? Did his penis shoot oil?" 34) "What romantic lead of a Lindsay Lohan film has such little improvisational skill that in the middle of sex with a guy, he once blurted: 'Fuck me, you big, uh, nelly queen!'?" 35) "Which late comedy legend slipped out an anti-gay joke on the air, but two of his children-a daughter and a son-happen to be totally that way?" 36) "Which old-time actress (who starred in a Twilight Zone) has gleefully carpet-munched with the daughter?" [5-26 from Michael Musto]

After making an unsettling detour to Closeted-Heartthrob Rapesville, the Blind Item Express is once more on the move, this time heading for sunnier, more sapphic waters. How else to explain this provocative post from Crazy Days and Nights:

Waking up sick is no fun. It hardly feels like you slept at all and the cruel light of day pounds at your head. But, I'll persevere. Especially with the help of the two blind items after the jump, one about a celebrity who is maybe too confident in her clout and the other about a celebrity couple where the lady wears the pants. The abusing pants. Enjoy, and stay healthy. 1) "Which celeb had a hissy fit after a photoshoot? She demanded a host of A-list stars to pose with her in the picture but got a shock when all that turned up were a few minor boyband members." [Mirror] 2) "It seems though as if this B list celebrity couple is done. He of the C- list films and she of the A list television and B list films. Turns out he finally got sick and tired of the verbal abuse he took from the wife everyday. Not talking about three or four days a week, talking about every day. Did she hit him? Absolutely. Although, her favorite thing to do was to try and scratch him with the engagement and wedding ring he bought her. He has had some lovely cuts as a result of this, including stitches more than once. He has walked out before, but she has always talked him into coming back. This time though he has been gone for ten days, and isn't returning any calls." [CDaN]

Caution: Like an old-school, deep-fried McDonald's cherry pie, contents of this blind item—courtesy of Page Six—are so scaldingly hot, they will likely burn through every layer of the skin on the roof of your mouth until you'll swear you're touching bone. Ah—but the hurt; it hurts so good:

Sacramone was robbed! There was unfair judging. Bela Karolyi gut blustery on TV, saying he hated the numbers. A number he wouldn't hate (segue!) is seven, because that's how many blind items we have for you this morning. Gays, socialites, Mideast princes, rockers, and the cast of 90210 are all doing secret things. Unearth the conspiracies after the jump. 1) "Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut." [NYP] 2) "Which oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs." [NYP] 3) "Which Mideast prince with a large posse is a bad tipper? The oil-soaked royal is leaving gratuities of just 10 percent in hot spots in St. Tropez." [NYP] 4) "Which very married '90s rocker who has been touring this summer has a penchant for the college-age girls who are still lighting incense and listening to his albums? According to our tour bus spy, he brings a different co-ed home just about every night he's on the road." [NYDN] These next ones all have to do with people who were on Beverly Hills: 90210, apparently: 5) "This actress recently reunited with her former flame for about a week of loving when each of their current relationships turned sour at about the same time. After a week they realized why the hell they had broken up in the first place." 6) "Despite the age difference, this younger actress on the show came out to this older actress on the show and they had a love affair for about a year. The older actress had been married, but was not at the time of the romance. The younger actress has never been married." 7) "Although she was portrayed as innocent on the show, in real life, this actress was not so innocent. During the course of each season she would generally get with 4-5 different members of the cast and crew. If you do the math, it is quite the number." [CDaN]

Ohhh gymnastics. Why you be so awesome for? My hands are tired from doing my awkward seal clap all night. Luckily they are not too tired to bring you some Friday blind items. After the jump we've got an interior decorator who slept her way into a new office, an, um, Native American-giving jeweler, a threatening singer, and a conservative radio host "doing the dirty" with a teenager. 1) "Which up-and-coming interior decorator got a free office from her biggest client, a big real-estate mogul, after she slept with him?" [NYP] 2) "Which high-profile jeweler - when he was riding high and flush with cash - gave a $60,000 watch to the doorman at one of downtown's most exclusive lounges to make sure he'd never have to wait to get in? Then the jeweler ran into trouble, ran out of funds, and informed the doorman the watch was only on loan." [NYP] 3) "Which singer is getting well above his station and trying to charge pubs and clubs £4,000 a DJ set? And if he doesn't get it, he has even threatened to beat them black and blue." [Mirror] 4) "How shocked will the world be when they find out about this conservative, national talk radio host and his 18 year old sometime girlfriend? Not as shocked as they will be when they find out she was only 17 when they started doing the dirty." [CDaN]

Olympics were a little slow last night, mostly because the Americans didn't fare all that well. Boo. But these blind items are very exciting! And patriotic! The one about the British pop singer has her doing drugs and stuff, so that just makes us over here look better. And the other two, about a career-mad fake lesbian actress and a virgin, just show America's can-do attitude. Do your civic duty and read them after the jump. 1) "Which supposedly clean-cut UK pop star has let her coke problem spiral out of control? She is said to be spending £1,000 a week on her nasty habit." [Mirror] 2) "How do you try and revive a career that only you want revived? Well, in Hollywood this year you can either get pregnant, or do what this C list film/B list television actress that I love to hate is going to do. Become a lesbian. Yes, you heard it here first. This actress is going to loudly dump her boyfriend and start dating a woman simply for the publicity. Forget about the days of hiding the fact you are gay, this actress has it all lined up. Instead of paying someone to be a beard for you, this actress is going to take some of her fast dwindling cash and pay someone to be her lesbian lover." [CDaN] 3) "I honestly didn't believe it the first time I heard this about a month ago, but when I heard it again yesterday, I started to believe. This actress is C list. Used to be on a hit network television show. Now she does films. Definite B list name recognition. Long term boyfriend who everyone assumed she was bearding for. True? Who the hell knows. But, this is where it gets even more interesting. Despite the fact that she is one of the most desired women in Hollywood and radiates sex, it turns out that our actress is actually a virgin. Going to remain one until she is married which is why she actually enjoyed bearding. Guess her relationship prior to that was all about fighting the guy off." [CDaN]

Poor Alicia Sacramone, a girl from (near) my hometown. She just made a few errors and now she's going to blame herself for her team ending up with only a measly silver. Maybe the two blind items after the jump will help her forget her woes. We've got a television actress fenced in by a strict pre-nup, and another actress who is getting bratty about her salary. 1) "This A list television/ B list film actress is on a hit network drama, in a 2007 hit film, and is fairly newly married. In her pre-nup it stipulates that she is to never be alone with another male in her trailer or dressing room. Now, I don't know how her husband is ever going to be able to enforce that without a camera on her 24/7, but apparently she must get into all sorts of trouble when left alone." [CDaN] 2) "Which TV leading lady has become quite the demanding diva? Following her recent movie successes, she's trying to get more than triple her current salary." [NYDN]

Phelpsy's on his way! And those boys in blue (and red) spandex got Bronze, which isn't too shabby. I mean, I could have done better. But whatevs. Yes USA! USA! just keeps chugging along, as does the blind item roundup. We have three for you today, one about a publisher, another about a British person, and a third about A list adultery. 1) "What publisher and man-about-town may have had a liaison with Rielle Hunter, the woman who had an affair with John Edwards and a relationship with his pal Jay McInerney? He's told friends they were 'in bed for a week.'" [NYDN] 2) "Which big-headed northern actor caused chaos on-set after he jumped on a bed while blind drunk on whiskey and put his back out?" [Mirror] 3) "This hit sequel almost didn't come to fruition. The reason? How about an A list film actor who was also an A list television actor who couldn't keep his libido under control. Seems as if this A lister took a bet from another A list film actor that a certain wife, of yet a third A list film actor was open to his charms. Well it turns out that he was right. The wife of the third A list actor did have a relationship with our first A list actor. I guess maybe relationship is the wrong word. It was either once or twice, depending on which story you believe. What is known though is that the wife confessed all to the third A list actor who then decided he couldn't work with A list actor number one anymore. He finally gave in to the pressure from the studio, but has not said one word to A list actor #1 outside of hello or goodbye since that date. As for the bet? A list actor #1 offered up his girlfriend for the night. A list actor #2 offered up his girlfriend for the night. Unfortunately no one bothered to check if this was ok with the girlfriend of A list actor #2. She declined, although not for being bartered in a bet, or possibly destroying a marriage. She just didn't find A list actor #1 appealing." [CDaN]

So, zomg, how's about that freestyle relay? That was a corker. I was standing and clapping and shrieking at the TV. Quite exciting. Just as exciting are the five blind items after the jump, which tell tales of diva actresses, washed-up former teen idols, Starbucks freak outs, and gays. Be the first to touch the wall with the right guess. USA! USA! 1) "A reality vixen decided that what she would do is just take her ice coffee and dump it on the counter [at Starbucks] and say, "here's your tip," and then walk out." [CDaN] 2) "Hotel in Las Vegas. Our B list actress from a hit network comedy who is usually friendly must have been extremely upset to pull this kind of diva behavior. Checks in to the hotel with her baby, a nanny and about 10 items of luggage. The hotel is packed, but she wants service right then. Gets up to her room. Says it faces the wrong direction, wants a new suite. Finds out there is nothing available for an hour or so. 'Well you better find someone who can clean faster because if I don't have a room in the next five minutes, I am going to tell everyone I know, your hotel sucks. I don't care how many Mexicans you have to call, I want a new room. Now.'" [CDaN] 3) "Car rental return. Minneapolis of all places. Our B-/C+ list film actor with a more famous brother returns his car. Dents all over the hood. Everywhere. Dirty. Tells the rental person someone did it in his hotel parking garage. Looks like someone was jumping up and down on the hood. Turns out though our actor forgot to change his dirty shoes which seemed to match exactly the foot size and treads on the hood. Idiot. And drunk still." [CDaN] 4) "Virgin record store on Hollywood Blvd. Former teen A lister and now basically a has been bum, although still fairly young. Walks through the entire store just randomly throwing CD's and DVD's into a basket. Must be 100 of them. Not looking at any, just grabbing them by the handful and throwing them into this basket. Goes to checkout and wants them all for free. The cashier says they don't really do that. Our has been wants a manager. One comes over and our has been says they are for a kids organization he is working with. The manager looks at the pile and knows the has been is lying. Says he just can't help him. Our has been does the don't you know who I am routine, and the manager says he knows exactly who the has been is, but can't do anything about it. The back and forth continues, and then the has been gives up. Before he leaves though he asks the manager for $20." [CDaN] 5) "This is just great. Not only is Crotch Uh-Lastic, whom you all met last week—and whom I could have sworn it would be at least a few weeks before we all said hullo to again-really does have his brains stuffed deep inside his paramours' overly tight swimsuits. See, the big-screen idol, whose pics make all kinds of bucks because their themes are all so brilliantly multiplatform, is doing things just like Toothy Tile. Now that word's just beginning to get out that Crotch loves to lure 'straight' men back to his Hollywood pad and have them don all sorts of skimpy swimwear (just so CUL can slowly take it right off), Crotchy-poo's pullin' an emergency Toothy!" [E!]

· We spotted this juicy little nugget of gossip just moments before last night's episode of Chelsea Lately aired on E! last night. One of the show's staffers maintains a Tumblr called C'est L.A. Vie, in which she often details the mundane things that happen on the show. Yesterday, all that changed when she alleged that someone who was wired with a hot mic was caught doing coke on set. Our handy video clip runs down the list of all the on-camera guests last night's episode; leave your guesses (and investigative rationale) in the comments! [C'est L.A. Vie]
· Our hearts just broke a little — scratch that, a LOT — when we read this anecdote about Life Goes On star Corky and his racist streak. This was a Wikipedia hoax; Corky doesn't see color. [Byron Crawford]
· Chuck Klosterman's latest Esquire column features a lengthy diatribe on Jennifer Love Hewitt's left femur ("Love Hewitt’s left thighbone strikes me as unusually long, and I feel like it lacks the convincing self-assurance of her right femur"), which he grades a B+. [Esquire]
· Ignore Lindsay Lohan's nipples for a second and, instead, focus on her mouth. Is she wearing braces? Grillz? Is she chewing tin foil? [Egotastic]
· And we know the day is almost over, but here are 88 ways you can enjoy 8/8/08. Our fave? "Call up Eddie Furlong and ask why there are 8 of him to a mile. Then, find out how he’s doing. Let us know." Guaranteed to be the best list until the 99 ways you can enjoy 9/9/09 comes out next year! [Best Week Ever]

Go see South Pacific at Lincoln Center if you have a chance, it's really quite good. Anyway, now that I have those ridiculously catchy (and Pulitzer-winning!) tunes in my head, I'll need something to help drown them out. How about two blind items, one about a two-timing celebrity chef, another about a drunken actor who shot his kid. Nice. Those ought to wash those songs right out of my head. Wait... 1) "Which celebrity chef is getting himself in boiling hot water with his constant flirty texting to various girls he works with?" [Mirror] 2) "Film star, although back in the day he did some television. In fact even though no one really likes him now, they probably did then. Aging, but not old. B list although he was A list and he could still open a film, although you probably wouldn't want him to. Not a franchise guy. Oh, not Ben Affleck, so lets get that out of the way. Anyway, our actor was at what he likes to call his estancia but is really just a ranch and was shooting off guns with his son. Apparently at some point he started drinking and got angry at something his son had done and just fired down at the sand in front of his son. Missed the sand, but got the son right in the shin bone. Private security guards, a doctor and all just a whisper. The only reason it got out at all is one of the teachers who home schools the child(ren) let it slip to someone who passed it on to me." [CDaN]

These blind items are corny as Kansas in August, they're high as a kite on the fourth of July, and, if you'll excuse the expression I use, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guyyyy. OK, that last part's not true because I'm a reclusive drunk. But I am going to see South Pacific tonight and there are blind items after the jump, about a seeeecretly gay boyband singing fella and an actress who's taken up the role of a lifetime: the heroine. I mean heroin. 1) "Which hunky boybander loves frequenting gay clubs looking for guys? The fella in question is keeping his secret under wraps so his female fans don't stop sending him presents." [Mirror] 2) "Which former A list television actress and now B list film queen has moved from the pot world to the smack world? What started off as a sometime thing smoking it has turned into a two or three time a day injection habit." [CDaN]

An eagle-eyed, Craigslist-scavenging informant today points us to a compelling career opportunity for the ambitious dreamer in you: A "high-ranking staffer on a hit dance reality show" is in dire need of a new assistant after the last one apparently agreed to assist him (or her, we suppose) full-time in bed: