Senator Ted Kennedy's posthumous memoir, True Compass, doesn't come out until September 14th, but it's already number two on Amazon's comprehensive book list. And, not surprisingly, it's number one in the memoir and political categories. It better be good! [Amazon]

The "Look at This Fucking Hipster" book will be full of staged photos of self-identified hipsters, for legal purposes. But author Joe Mande is also sending out this form email to anyone who submits their own photo:

Sloane Crosley got a book deal by being the most popular book publicist in New York. Now, Sloane Crosley's book publicist has gotten a book deal herself. Taste the meta! There are only five other ways to get published now.

When you heard that someone had written a book with intimate details about Bernie Madoff's anatomy, you probably thought to yourself, I better get to the bookstore the first day it comes out or I'll miss my chance! Oh, you didn't? You weren't the only one. Only about 2,000 copies of Sheryl Weinstein's tell-all have sold since it was published a couple of weeks ago. And the three other Madoff-related books haven't fared well either. [AP]

Ted Kennedy writes about his "terrible decisions" after the Chappaquiddick accident in his posthumous memoir.

Hipster-mocking blog Look at This Fucking Hipster got a book deal, but big problem: you try getting clearance from all those clowns to publish their photos. The sad reality: the LATFH book will be full of self-identified hipster posers!

The world's most unfortunate husband, Ron Weinstein, has a few thoughts on the book his wife Sheryl decided to write about having an affair with Bernie Madoff. Yes, he says, he tried to talk his wife out of writing it. And yes, detailing Bernie's penile dimensions "was trashy." But "affairs are commonplace," he says, and really "shouldn't be such a big deal," although in this case he concedes it's a bit complicated since the man she happened to have an affair with is also "the biggest crook in the world" and stole all of Weinstein's money.

The uproar, that is! And the book. But not the weed, as far as I know, because this Crrrrrrazymaking skunk only exists in Cheech & Chong movies and the imaginations of lightweights. (And in England).

Happy 25th anniversary of coked-out young dudes writing novels about being coked-out young dudes! To celebrate, Random House is finally updating the cover of Bright Lights, Big City.

Glenn Beck really has embraced his fear-mongering moniker. His new book, Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government, features the Fox News man all gussied up as appears to be some sort of fascist. Whee! [Amazon]

In your tanned Wednesday media column: Maer Roshan is up to something in LA, Portfolio('s picture) gets a new life, the NYT mag has a new, pretentious slogan, and booty skills translate between magazines.

• Ted Kennedy's death late last night sent the media into a predictable scramble. Some newspapers stopped the presses in the wee hours to change out the front page; every news network has been busy mobilizing its troops and planning various TV specials; Time announced plans to publish a commemorative edition; and the publication date of Kennedy's forthcoming memoir has been moved up to September 14 from early October.
• Some people watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's shows because they think it makes them look cool, according to a new research report. [NYT]
• The premiere of True Blood on Sunday night reeled in more than 5.3 million viewers and generated HBO its biggest audience in years. [MCN]
• Because The View is determined to provide a home to the most insufferable women on earth, Kate Gosselin has signed on to guest host the show next month, joining the likes of Meghan McCain and LaToya Jackson. [E!]

You have to admire the online chutzpah of HarperCollins and Nick Douglas. Having sourced the contents of Twitter Wit entirely for free from the microblogging service, the publisher is now attempting to crowdsource its marketing campaign. And so boldly!

Bernie Madoff's former mistress, Sheryl Weinstein, tells the AP that she plans to mail a copy of her disturbingly graphic new book to Madoff in prison. How thoughtful! "If the prison bubble has so far shielded him from realizing that the whole world is mocking his penis, that will end soon." [NYM/Daily Intel]

Bernie Madoff lovah and sexxxy tell-all writer Sheryl Weinstein is dropping more sexxxy bombshells about hot animal love, with Bernie Madoff! Ruth Madoff gets proven more innocent every single day.

• Harvey and Bob Weinstein are breathing a sigh of relief today. Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds did better than expected at the box office this weekend, raking in $37.6 million in sales. Not that one good weekend will be enough to lift the studio out of the financial mess it is in. [NYT, THR, WSJ]
• Related: In what may be a first for a movie opening, Inglourious Basterds seems to have benefited by a "crest of tweeting goodwill." [THR]
• Some 48 years after it was first published, Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking is now No. 1 on the New York Times' best-seller list. [NYT]
• Has the Glenn Beck brouhaha made advertisers skittish about buying commercial time during political shows in general? [AdAge, Politico]
• Jared Kushner's New York Observer is launching a new paper called The Commercial Observer. It's about commercial real estate, naturally. [NYT]
• Magazine newsstand sales continue to suffer, not surprisingly. [AdAge]

The late, great Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, has been given a cinematic boost, thanks to Julie & Julia. And she's not alone.

Galleycat says that employees of a certain large publishing house will be locked out of the office until Monday morning while exterminators deal with a bedbug infestation there. An inside tipster tells us which publisher it is:

Former New York Times food critic has been unveiling all his secrets in service of promoting his book—his undercover aliases, his credit card numbers, his weight issues. Today, it's the grand lie that was his fake author photo.

Yes, we know Bernie "Winky Dink" Madoff had a small penis, thanks to author/ lovah Sheryl Weinstein—but do we know enough about his penis' circumference and performance? Now we do.