Fat dick and Fox News chief Roger Ailes is shopping a memoir, New York's Gabriel Sherman reports. It looks like the man who devoted his life to building a multibillion-dollar platform from which to attack his political and personal enemies wants to sum it all up in a book attacking his political and personal enemies.

Walter Isaacson's authorized Steve Jobs biography just became Amazon's bestselling book of 2011. Which is pretty ironic, given that it's about a tech CEO who four years ago said "the fact is that people don't read anymore."

Borders, America's second biggest book store chain, died this summer, its red-trimmed outlets sinking inexorably into a savage sea of red ink. (Beat that lede, Wall Street Journal!) For Barnes & Noble, the most popular book chain, this could be interpreted as good news: its biggest competitor was gone. Or, bad news: book stores are a dying industry.

Yesterday we introduced you to Mark Kelley, the literary agent with a particularly forceful, unsolicited brand of flair. Did Mark Kelley send a lengthy follow-up email last night, CC-ed to a bunch of investigative reporters, for some reason? Of course he did. Should we share this with you? Eh, why not.

Earlier today, our office receptionist got a call from a secretive man demanding my phone number, though he wouldn't say why. (She thought he sounded angry, though perhaps he was just excited.) He settled for my email address, and sent the following message:

Badly! Presidential candidate and congresswoman Michele Bachmann's new memoir Core of Conviction is out, and Mother Jones' Tim Murphy has read it, for some reason. Here are some of the wrong things Bachmann wrote in her book, about herself.

Yesterday, news broke of a massive ($500K, allegedly) book deal for 24 year-old Ryan Holiday (pictured)—whose name will be familiar to savvy Gawker readers as the spokesman for American Apparel. So what's so interesting about him?

What do you say to a harsh criticism from astronaut-hero Mark Kelly, husband of wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords? You can't call him a jerk or anything. He's astronaut-hero Mark Kelly, husband of wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords! You just have to take it. Hear that, John Boehner? You will just have to take it.

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is primarily known for harassing employees and harassing journalists and giving poor advice and suing everyone over everything and representing odious clients and generally running a PR firm which is hilariously incompetent and unethical. Who better to teach you about PR?

How many more indignities must Bill O'Reilly suffer as he tries to peddle his published wares to the discerning public? First the acclaimed television host and author had to witness U.S. soldiers burning his Pinheads and Patriots and boasting about it, and now Ford's Theatre is banning his new Abe Lincoln book for being wrong about everything.

Plot for forthcoming young adult novel The Future of Us: Two teenagers go online in 1996, and discover a wormhole to their future Facebook profiles, thereby allowing them to meet their future selves and learn life lessons.

Saturday Night Live alum Darrell Hammond has been talking a lot about the crazy amount of drugs he did during his comedy career. In an excerpt from his new book God, If You're Not There, I'm F*cked, he talks about how rehab can be even worse than addiction.

Barrett Brown, the "Face" of Anonymous, has had a busy week, promoting the hacktivist collective's extremely-confusing war against the notorious Zetas drug cartel in every outlet from CNN to Gawker. But a six-figure book deal probably helps with the fatigue.

According to a copy of her forthcoming book, obtained by the Associated Press, Gabrielle Giffords intends to take up her seat again in the House of Representatives: "I will get stronger. I will return."

Disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff knows a thing or two about political corruption and lobbying. And in his new book "Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist," he has a few ideas on how to fix the system:

So many people think that the more Facebook friends they have, the better. Wrong! In an excerpt from his just released book You Are Not So Smart David McRaney explains "Dunbar's Number" and why trying to keep in touch with more than 150 people, even on Facebook, is a biological impossibility.

The thing about the big Steve Jobs book is that its cover is very.... intense. Steve, he watches you. You want to flip it over, constantly. Or make a blog like Watched By Steve, about the hardcover's discomfiting ubiquity. [via]

The birther website World Net Daily might have gotten the publishing rights to Jack Abramoff's forthcoming memoir, but Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller gets to host the book party.

Nixonian cretin Patrick Buchanan is such a jolly old coot on MSNBC—he's even got an adorable Odd Couple routine with lesbian leftie Rachel Maddow—that it's easy to forget that he's a White Power proponent who thinks it's "natural and normal" to prefer members of your own race to black folks. Luckily, he writes virulently racist books now and again to remind us.

Are you poor and homeless and starving and sick of trying to fix things through the usual channels, which are all broken? Fear not! There may be a secret remedy that you haven't considered: President Obama's personal checkbook. Because he'll occasionally send personal checks to struggling people who write him with their horror stories. Just make sure to include all the gritty details.