booze

Department of Health Reportedly Considering a Ban on Happy Hour (UPDATED)

Louis Peitzman · 04/29/12 12:27PM

The New York Post has a rather alarming (and alarmist) article on a potential happy hour ban in the city. They cite a lot of mysterious Department of Health sources, so it's difficult to confirm any of this — but when anyone suggests a serious threat to cheap drinking, panic is the appropriate response.

Who Cares If Someone Sold Counterfeit Wine?

Hamilton Nolan · 03/09/12 09:48AM

Uh oh, big scandal the in the world of Le Bordeaux ("wine"): influential "wine collector" Rudy Kurniawan has been arrested by real live FBI agents and charged with fraud for attempting to auction off more than 100 bottles of wine (for more than $1.3 million) about whose provenance he lied. Can you imagine? Some unsuspecting wine collectors out there thought they were buying 1929 Domaine Ponsot, but actually it was some other wine in the bottle. Outrageous.

Oh, Shut Up About New York City's Booze 'Crackdown'

Max Read · 01/11/12 04:00PM

Guys: Mayor Bloomberg does not want to take away your booze. Yes, the Health Department is considering a proposal to "curb excessive drinking" in New York City. (For this, the Post calls him a "party pooper," Animal NY calls him a hypocrite, and Gothamist calls him Nanny Bloomberg.") Yes, he thinks you probably drink too much. (To be fair: you do.) Yes, he's a sucky mayor. But he's not really doing anything here except that will make your life harder, unless you are an asshole (or, to be fair, in the employ of the booze business). Let's be clear about what the proposals actually are, according to the Post:

Your Partner Is Making You Binge-Drink

Lauri Apple · 12/17/11 03:10PM

After studying 208 unmarried couples and their drinking habits, researchers at Canada's Dalhousie University have discovered that the binge-drinking of one partner in a relationship often transfers to the other partner. Alcohol abuse is a contagious disease.

Poison Liquor Kills Insane Number of People in India

Hamilton Nolan · 12/15/11 10:30AM

One hundred and forty three—can that possibly be right?—yes, one hundred and forty three people have died so far in one town in India from drinking a batch of bootleg liquor this week. Police say the liquor was spiked with methanol to "boost its kick." That has the side effect of killing you. The AP reports:

America So Drunk

Hamilton Nolan · 11/17/11 10:19AM

Uhhhhhh. Ugggghhhh. Ummmmmmfffff. Dude we were like... what time is it? Fuck. Morning in America already?

Introducing the Latest Vodka Atrocity, NutLiquor

Brian Moylan · 11/03/11 03:24PM

They started with orange and pepper-flavored vodkas, and then they moved on to absurd flavors like cupcake. Now it's gone to its logical extreme. There is a new brand of peanut butter-flavored vodka called NutLiquor. Say it out loud. Yeah. Exactly.

Catholic University Still Full of Sex, Sex, Sex

Hamilton Nolan · 10/31/11 10:11AM

Earlier this year, Catholic University president John Garvey vowed to get rid of co-ed dorms, lest his school further descend into the depths of liquor-soaked "nun and priest"-themed heterosexual orgies. Is mere sexxxual segregation enough to tame the devilish sexxx hormones of sexxxy young sexxx-crazed students at the very peak of their sexxxuality?

Americans Are Too Poor to Drive Drunk

John Cook · 10/04/11 04:41PM

Good news! Drunk driving is down 30% over the last five years. Bad news! It's probably because we're all too broke to leave the house. Instead of wasting precious fuel to drive to bars and pay $4 for Bud Light, we're staying home with the lights off, drinking homemade prune wine, and sniffing kerosene. Apparently the way you'll know the economy is moving again is when you get T-Boned by a black-out drunk in a '70s Pontiac.

Proof that Facebook Drives You To Drink

Ryan Tate · 09/19/11 01:59PM

Facebook is on track to take in several billion dollars in advertising revenue this year, which is weird because we have never actually clicked on a single Facebook ad ever. But liquor giant Diageo ran a study that found Facebook ads for two products in particular make people leave their computers and run to the store: Smirnoff and Baileys.

Company Wins Right to Sell 'F—ing Schnapps'

Lauri Apple · 09/16/11 04:12AM

A German company has won the right to register "ficken," which is the German word for "fuckin'," as a trademark in order to sell Ficken Likör—aka the People's Partyschnaps—as well as mineral water, other refreshing beverages, and clothing.

Europeans Love Nonalcoholic Beer

Hamilton Nolan · 08/30/11 12:16PM

Nonalcoholic beer has long been the beverage of choice for everyone from delusional recovering alcoholics to people too drunk to notice they accidentally bought nonalcoholic beer. Shouldn't you be drinking more nonalcoholic beer, if you know what we mean?

Nobody Likes Miller Lite

Hamilton Nolan · 08/03/11 11:10AM

Bad news, people who go to the store with the express purpose of purchasing Miller Lite™ brand beer: Ad Age reports that Miller Lite is growing steadily less popular. And during the "all-important summer beer-selling season"!

Drunk Cop Crashes Truck Pulling DARE Trailer

Jeff Neumann · 07/29/11 06:41AM

A 38-year-old cop in Indiana, John Newcomb, was arrested Wednesday night after he side-swiped a parked car with his truck and then plowed into a tree, apparently while he was drunk. A woman who heard the crash and saw the immediate aftermath gave some details of the scene to local news channel WAVE 3. The best part of this otherwise average drunk driving-cop story is the trailer Newcomb was pulling :