For those of us with family members prone to quasi-racist, half-coherent Thanksgiving dinner rants, it's a relief to know the rich and famous sometimes go through the same thing. Celebrities: they're just like us. Brad Pitt's mom is apparently just such a loon, although she's more of the letter-to-the-editor kind, which is dying art these days and should be applauded with a slow, cautious clap. Anyway, Jane Pitt, Brad and Doug's mother, wrote a letter to The Springfield News-Leader which, amongst other things, says:

As part of a new ad campaign for Virgin Mobile Australia that promises "celebrity deals at celebrity brother prices," ad agency Euro RSCG hired Brad Pitt's lesser-known younger sibling Doug to play the part of the cellphone company's spokesperson.

The most famous unwed parents in America may soon wed, The Hollywood Reporter reports. After Angelina Jolie was photographed with a giant diamond on her ring finger, jeweler Robert Procop confirmed that he "did indeed design an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, designed in collaboration with Brad Pitt." So either they're engaged, or Angie is playing a cruel joke on every tabloid magazine on the planet. [THR]

Pippa Middleton steps out with two, yes two, boys at once. J.Lo had a lovely holiday with her new hunk. Jennifer Aniston and her beau nearly ran into Brad Pitt. Justin Bieber's fake babymomma's ex boyfriend is causing drama. Monday's gossip needs relationship advice.

Miley Cyrus is smoking more than just salvia. Prince William saves two lives. Brad and Jennifer narrowly miss an awkward run-in. Sunday gossip is going to go hang out in the cemetery.

Scotty McCreery misses his cue. Brad Pitt wasn't always a tragically overweight, dumpy-looking urchin with a comb-over. Kim Kardashian exposes herself to The Poors and learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Today's Gossip Roundup is sitting on the couch with some turkeys, playing video games and eating pumpkin pie topped with mashed potatoes instead of Cool Whip.

Throwaway husband Kris Humphries goes into the jewelry business. Michael Bublé calls Kim Kardashian a "bitch." Leonardo DiCaprio turns 37. Kristen Stewart on her Twilight premiere dress: "Well, it's purple and it's a gown." Tuesday gossip is addicted to fame.

Jay-Z confirms your suspicions about Kanye West. Brad Pitt wants to quit acting in "three years." Demi Lovato goes to a wedding and catches the bouquet. Lindsay Lohan returns to the nightlife scene. Monday gossip gets upstaged.

Jessica Simpson might be pregnant, unless it's just an unflattering shirt. Demi and Ashton might be breaking up. Lindsay Lohan gets reinvented as "Lyndsy." Nicole Richie's boobs look big. Wednesday gossip is hysterical about pregnancy.

The lions of Pride Rock reigned supreme again this week — even golden lion-human Brad Pitt couldn't dethrone them. And Pitt was almsot defeated by a dolphin as well. What do the animals have against Brad Pitt??

Maggie Gyllenhaal lends vibrators to female friends. Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon say their adultery is "like a fairy tale." Kendra Wilkinson describes "sex on a jet ski." Wednesday gossip likes to share.

Brad Pitt laments the years he spent sitting around getting high with Jen. Lindsay Lohan throws a drink at a photographer. A tween star dresses his penis up like an elephant. Anna Faris: "I hope somebody roofies me tonight!" TGIFriday gossip.

Elisabetta Canalis discusses her break-up with Clooney. Chris Brown gets out of 95 parking tickets. Ali Lohan didn't get plastic surgery, might have gotten an eating disorder. Matt Damon envies Jake Gyllenhaal's head. TGIFriday gossip.

Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva reach a custody settlement, Minka Kelly might be moving on, Jennifer Aniston just moved, Brad Pitt saved a life, and Kim Kardashian has returned from her honeymoon. Saturday Gossip is weathering the storm.

The universe's most perfect couple, professional make-believers Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, have put their Malibu dream mansion on the market for an affordable $13.75 million. They're selling the 4,000 square-foot, four-bedroom home presumably because they tend to spend most of their downtime at their 900-acre chateau estate in France. You know how that is. [Real Estalker, photos via PCN and Getty]

To discuss "the plain and often uneasy facts of adoption," Huffington Post Black Voices editor Rebecca Carroll wrote an opinion column called "The Adoption Taboo." Subtitle: "Is There Temptation For Fathers of Interracial Daughters?" Uh oh. I'm not sure I like where this is going.

Reggie Bush texts Kim incessantly, begging her ditch Kris at the altar. George Clooney's female wrestler lover sleeps over. Angelina dodges rioters in London. Ali Lohan is officially more bankable than Lindsay. Wednesday gossip is the one that got away.

Brad is afraid Angie will stab him in his sleep. Kelly Rowland has a double nip slip. Kate Gosselin lures a man with cupcakes, and fails. Jennifer Lopez wears four pairs of Spanx at once. Tuesday gossip draws shallow breaths.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a very awkward birthday with Maria Shriver. Al Pacino's got family trouble. Ashton Kutcher stole Will Smith's trailer, we think. Yes! It's Sunday gossip.

Jennifer Aniston and her still quite new man go house-hunting. Arnold Schwarzenegger just signs whatever papers are in front of him. Lindsay Lohan partied with the Muscle Milk people at a beach. Today's Gossip Roundup is acting irresponsibly.