Looks like The Wiggles have finally given up on your children. The BBC reports that three of the four founding members announced their retirement Thursday.

Billionaire David Geffen is going to have to find some other pretty young thing to take to state dinners and on all-boy vacations with Barry Diller and other barely closeted rich people. According to Page Six Geffen just broke up with his boy toy.

Oh my god, call your Aunt Claire, she's going to be so excited to hear that Johnny Depp and his elusive long-time heterosexual life partner, Vanessa Paradis, have split (probably). This is her chance to get with her dream actor! It's gonna happen.

Yesterday all of the internet was dancing on the grave of 69-year-old Calvin Klein's relationship with 21-year-old "model" Nick Gruber. Well, it appears their "break" wasn't nearly as definitive as everyone thought.

After spending Christmas apart and being spotted in public without their wedding rings, Russell Brand made it official and filed for divorce from pop singer Katy Perry. He proposed to her on New Year's Eve 2009, so it's about exactly two years since they got engaged and a year since their October 2010 marriage.

The problem with amassing huge troves of digital information is that, sooner or later, someone will try and nab one of them. Like the twisted judge in Connecticut who ordered divorcing spouses to swap Facebook and online dating passwords, and the other judges following in his footsteps.

Breakups are bad news, as we all know. Who here hasn't spent a week binging on raw cookie dough and episodes of The Good Wife after getting dumped? Or gotten behind the wheel of his cab, naked and drunk, and crashed into 17 cars?

The life of Jenna Lyons—the J. Crew creative director who drove conservative idiots to madness by daring to paint her son's toenails pink—has either turned into a full-blown culture war nightmare, or the inspiration for a quirky/heartbreaking indie film.

After 267 27 years of marriage, Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth are splitting up so they can marry all the members of REM, who also just split up. Ha. But no, seriously, they were both just really eager to try out OKCupid.

The '90s indie sensation R.E.M., who you haven't thought about since Automatic for the People, has officially broken up. Oh thank God. They had gotten to be like a novelist who lived too long and wrote all these crappy books that sullied the reputation of their sterling early works.

A "friend" of George Soros says the 81-year-old Hungarian mogul used to make his Brazilian ex-girlfriend Adriana Ferreyr sit at the children's table during his Sunday brunches in the Hamptons—ostensibly because she's 28, which is very young.

George Soros, Al Gore's favorite billionaire, was sued for $50 million in Manhattan yesterday by his ex-girlfriend, Brazilian soap star Adriana Ferreyr. She claims that Soros reneged on his promise to give her a $1.9 million New York apartment and that he beat her.

If your mother calls tonight, it's probably to express her glee that George Clooney has split up with his girlfriend of two years, Italian actress Elisabetta Canalis. He is one again a confirmed bachelor. (No, not like that.) But let's take a moment to look back at the good ol' days, shall we?

[Photo via Getty Images]

Just five days before their wedding, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner's latest fiancee, Crystal Harris, 25, called off the ceremony.

Well, it finally happened: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, together since 2007 are finito. A source told PEOPLE "there are no hard feelings. It was completely mutual and they both decided it was time to move on."

Muammar el-Qaddafi's personal Ukrainian nurse, Galyna Kolotnytska — described in Wikileaks cables as a "voluptuous blond" — is heading home to Kiev, according to her daughter, Tetyana, speaking to a Ukrainian newspaper: "She spoke in a calm voice, asked us not to worry and said she'd soon be home." It's officially over, Muammar. [WSJ]

The big problem with Facebook stalking is that it takes so much work. Which is why we're so excited for "Breakup Notifier," programmer Dan Loewenherz's new Facebook app for the lazy stalker. Just sign into the app with your Facebook account and choose a group of "taken" friends. Now, whenever those friends change their relationship statuses, the app will email you—freeing you up for stuff like standing outside peoples' windows, and stealing bits of their hair for your special doll. [Breakup Notifier via Reddit; image via Shutterstock]

Actors Jude Law and Sienna Miller have broken up, again! The split, which occurred weeks ago, is "amicable," but the question remains: Who will Law cheat on, now?

Indie band The White Stripes formally announced their breakup today. People in 2003 are very upset.

Actress Mila Kunis and The Pagemaster star Macaulay Culkin have "amicably" broken up after a seven-year relationship. Guess he'll be "home alone" a lot more often, am I right? "My Girl"—more like "bye, girl"! And so on.