Ben Harper and Laura Dern: Splitsville, USA. Population: Them. Justin Bieber's new line of nail polish! Mariah Carey throws a birthday bash. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spotted doing normal couple things. Sunday Gossip Roundup! It's here.

SportsCenter held a poll for "most beloved:" Brett Favre or Wisconsin cheese. Brieng it on, Favre. I bet you Cantel who was right. The vote was a feta accompli. Okay, we're finished.

On yesterday's Late Show, David Letterman had some choice remarks for retired-but-possibly-not-retired Brett Favre, who may or may not be bluffin' with his muffin. Want a bonus? How about this: Letterman also worked in an anti-Jay Leno joke! Video inside.

In this parody, SportsNation ponders what demographic advertisers are really targeting when they hire pro athletes like Favre to star in their commercials. Also, Michelle Beadle and Colin Cowherd discuss the impact of Favre's "retirement" on the Wrangler brand.

A song made famous by a 62-year-old American Idol auditioner too old to qualify for the show has reached the exuberant ass-slapping hands of the NFL's oldest quarterback. No, he does not grasp the irony.

Wranglers advertising shows Brett Favre and other assorted manly men playing football around their manly trucks with their manly dogs wearing manly jeans. What if those Wranglers became tight, short jean shorts? Not so manly anymore.

Sean Lennon turns 34 today. Sharon Osbourne is turning 57. Newly retired pro golfer Annika Sörenstam is 39. Former Senator Trent Lott is turning 68. Director Guillermo del Toro turns 45. Tony Shalhoub is 56. Jackson Browne is 61. John O'Hurley of Seinfeld and Dancing with the Stars is 55. Actor Brandon Routh is turning 30. C-SPAN founder Brian Lamb is 68. Singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey is 40. And Randy Spelling—son of Aaron and Candy and brother of Tori—turns 31 today. A few weekend birthdays are below.

Some scoffed when Brett Favre again came out of retirement and signed with the Minnesota Vikings. Now Favre's having the last laugh. With tonight's win against his old team, the Packers, Favre's now defeated every NFL team. Collective crush, commence.

Lift up your beer and make a toast: Mr. Mario Lopez is 35 today. Others celebrating on this Friday: Jets quarterback Brett Favre is 39. At the New York Times, Stefano Tonchi is 49 and Adam Nagourney is 54. Socialite Celerie Kemble turns 35. Artist Banks Violette turns 35. Cornell's Antonio Gotto Jr. is 73. Paper's Mickey Boardman is 42. And David Lee Roth is 54. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

♦ Disgraced telecom analyst Jack Grubman and his wife LuAnn have put their neo-Federal-style townhouse at 12 East 81st Street on the market for $32 million, five times what they paid for the five-bedroom manse back in 1999. [NYO, Sotheby's]
♦ Thomas Brock, the CEO of Stone Harbor Investment Partners (and the head of Salomon Brothers Asset Management back in the '90s), paid $10 million for a four-bedroom apartment at 995 Fifth Avenue, the same building where Claude Wasserstein picked up a spread last month. [Cityfile]
♦ Superbad director Greg Mottola and his wife Sarah Allentuch paid $2.6 mil. for a two-bedroom, third-floor apartment at One York in Tribeca. [NYO]
♦ Now that he's said goodbye to the Green Bay Packers and joined the Jets, quarterback Brett Favre has sold his former home in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin for $475,000. [Real Estalker]

As you may have heard, a faux-grizzled Mississippi boy named Brett Favre has brought his quarterbacking services to the New York Jets, the sad and mopey second-tier football team in a second-tier football town. This is quite big news, since Favre is a revered football icon, an unpredictable head case, and could easily win a Super Bowl or have one of the worst seasons in professional football history. Favre's arrival has created a frenzy amongst the bloodthirsty NYC sports media. Which has itself created a separate frenzy of analysis about why this particular segment of the media is such a schizophrenic mob. All of which has circled back into a scrum of grown men fighting over this simple question: Is New York City the pinnacle of sports media; or the most hellacious sports reporting town in America? New York City boasts a tabloid-led sports media machine that is unrivaled anywhere in America. But to outside observers, this can seem like the worst possible setup. Here's what Gregg Doyle, a columnist for CBS Sportsline, had to say on Howard Kurtz's CNN show yesterday:

For some reason, certain members of the New York Giants aren't full of warm feelings over all the press the Jets are getting for hiring Brett Favre, the 38-year-old quarterback who grudgingly signed on after he was abandoned by his beloved Green Bay Packers. But why should the Giants be miffed? It's not like they beat the obnoxious New England Patriots and deprived them of their precious perfect season in the last Super Bowl. "I'm not surprised at all. No one cares about us. Let's call it what it is," explained running back Brandon Jacobs. More griping after the jump.

Brett Favre is a tool. [NYT]

Overrated ball-thrower Brett Favre recently announced his intention to un-retire from American Football. He announced this on the program of terrifying Scientologist (and family friend of Joe McCarthy!) Greta Van Susteren-which was odd, because he was looking to be released from his contract with the Packers, not for a lost white girl. You know who else thought it was odd? America's sportswriters! That elite league of old white dudes coudn't understand why their favorite good ole boy QB broke this news to a lady instead of one of them. Thankfully, Greta is not merely a top-rated television hostess-she is also a blogger! So she responded to a couple utterly obscure small-market sports columnists with typical internet heroism. Enjoy!