A politician shouted during Obama's speech. A tennis player yelled at a line judge. A rapper grabbed a mic during an awards show. All in the same week. You know what this means: A fake trend is sweeping America.

Yesterday we reported that Microtrend-spouting flack Mark Penn's PR firm was using his Wall Street Journal column to drum up PR business. Penn is ethically compromised. But today, the WSJ tells us they're keeping Penn on as a columnist. Cowards.

Westin Hotels had a media event in Times Square today celebrating their new survey showing that 51% of US travelers "prefer a great night's sleep to great sex." Shit. Two percent difference and there woulda been fuckin' in Times Square.

Yale University Press is publishing a book about the Danish Muhammad cartoon controversy of 2005. But Yale will not publish any images of the cartoons, or Muhammad, because Yale University Press is run by freedom-disregarding accommodationist pussies.

"Pheromone"-infused body wash to lure the ladies: Pretty fucking stupid bit of pseudoscience, honestly. But the New York Times will turn this city upside down to find a lady seduced by pheromones' sexy powers!

Things that would otherwise be boring are in fact not boring—and worthy of extended commentary by the New York Times—if they happen in The Hamptons. In The Hamptons, everything is consequential. In The Hamptons, they wear various t-shirts.

"A federal study indicates one of every five U.S. citizens was involved in birdwatching during 2006, contributing $36 billion to the nation's economy," says the UPI. Oh yea? Bullshit. Saw a bird, maybe.

Yesterday, the New York Times' blog about the Fort Greene neighborhood published a post on a "secret underground climbing gym" in Brooklyn. Today, they took the post down. For a preposterous reason! Now it's getting way more attention.

The fakest job corporate America ever created was "Branding Consultant"—until now. Meet Anne Loehr, a "business coach" who will (for a small fee) explain the mysteries of "Generation Y" to a corporate audience. She knows your soul, kids.

Sometimes a worthless "consumer" will see some very strategic high-concept ad that involves, say, a subservient chicken, and innocently ask, "How does that sell burgers?" And then the creative ad execs will chuckle at this un-strategic dunce, their target audience.

Mark Penn, failed campaign strategist and head of one of the world's most ostentatiously amoral PR firms, has used polling and research to ferret out a new microtrend: People are pessimistic, these days. That will be one million dollars. [WSJ]

Hermetically-sealed Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger sued to prevent some Swedish writer from publishing an updated spinoff version of his book. And Salinger's won, for the moment! What a crock.

A new summer has blossomed (technically), and with it a new crop of celebrity media interns, riding their family names into coffee-fetching and fact-checking gigs that should rightfully go to miserable, debt-wracked, overqualified J-school graduates. This year's celeb intern class:

To make up for employing Sean Delonas, News Corp. is forming a "diversity community council" to rubber-stamp bland statements affirming the company's commitment to non-white individuals, or whatever. Which frees up Sean Delonas to expose NObama as an Arabian terrorist!

Ha, noted radical political journal Sports Illustrated is running these ads in South Africa insinuating that SI is very, you know, radical, and political. A big black panther for the '68 Olympics, Fight the Power! How did SI really cover that story? We will show you!

In LA they have lots of gangs. How to determine if a child will grow up to be a vicious gangbanger? The city—with scientific help—has developed a test! Find out your future, below:

"Everyone today wants to be a professional and most people believe they are." But most of you are deluded. Mark Penn is here to tell you why. And to spout further generalizations, for money!

So who told George Stephanopoulos this nutty story about the secret plan to sabotage the John Edwards campaign? Because no one will admit to it.

Here we are two days into the Swine Flu Panic of '09, and dead bodies have yet to be stacked up like cordwood on the streets of American cities. Face it: this story is dumb.