Moments ago, Universal Studios circulated a memo to all of its local employees to prepare them for the possible appearance of picketers from the Casting Society of America. Batten down the hatches! Casting directors in angrily-worded sandwich boards are coming! Universal quite sensibly discourages any kind of vigilante justice from its employees (who are expected to work and to be on time during the possible crisis); rather than suggest that picketers momentarily blocking cars trying to enter the lot be sprayed with fire hoses or crushed under SUV wheels, impeded workers are urged to ignore the protestors and refrain from ramming their cars through any human speed-bumps. Of course, for every public show of restraint, there are probably matching secret internal directives from boss Stacey Snider urging that anyone carrying a picket sign be doused in napalm and instantly incinerated. The memo follows:

· Clint Eastwood wins the Directors Guild Award for Million Dollar Baby. We can almost hear Martin Scorcese's Oscar hopes fading away. [THR]
· Forty Shades of Blue wins Sundance's dramatic competition, while audiences somewhat predictably pick Hustle & Flow, Paramount's nine million dollar baby. [Variety]
· News that five people care about: Nicole Kidman parks her vanity production company, Blueprint Films, with Initial Entertainment Group. [Variety]
· The Daily Show ranter Lewis Black signs up for a television development deal with Sony for an eventual show "built around his cantankerous stage persona." Hopefully that won't translate to playing a widower with two adorable daughters and a well-meaning-but-overbearing mother who moves in to help raise the kids. [THR]
· Spike TV announces that president Albie Hecht is "stepping down," with Comedy Central's Doug Herzog likely annexing the job into his part of the Viacom empire. Somewhere, Les Moonves is cackling and stroking a white cat. [Variety]

The NY Times uses the recent lawsuit claiming that Entourage's Kevin Connolly dumped his management (after he found out HBO had picked up the show, naturally) to examine a larger problem in Hollywood: Working actors opportunistically kicking their managers curbward at the first blush of success.

· Take the cannoli, leave the huge bag of cash: HBO will probably announce today whether TNT or A&E paid through the nose for reruns of The Sopranos. The offer they couldn't refuse (groan) is expected to be at least $2.1 million per episode. That's-a spicy meatball. (Kill us now.) [Variety]
· Angelina Jolie signs up to star with Matt Damon in the Robert DeNiro-directed The Good Shepherd. Let the sweaty trailer sex and destruction of longterm relationships begin! [Variety]
· Now we feel a little better about not sticking around Sundance long enough to catch the Strangers With Candy movie, as Warner Independent snaps it up for a fall release. [THR]
· The SAG/AFTRA establishment will allow opponents of their recently negotiated labor contract (heretofore referred to in the legal paperwork as "The Ass-Blasting") with the studios to complain about the soreness of their hindquarters in a public referendum. [THR]
· Spider-Man 2 and the Seinfeld DVDs bury Sony Pictures under an avalanche of cash. [Variety]

· Execs try to put together last-minute deals as Sundance draws to a close. The best news: several buyers are eyeballing the Strangers with Candy movie. [Variety]
· Cross your fingers that this will finally cool the heat on poker projects: Drew Barrymore will play Eric Bana's love interest in the high-stakes poker dramedy Lucky You. Get it? Luck and poker? [THR]
· Jennifer Lopez returns from wandering in the agency desert to re-sign with ICM. They're now charged with the task of figuring out a way to increase her overexposure by at least 50 percent. [Variety]
· A Wahlberg is in talks to star in a 70s cop drama for NBC. But don't get too excited, it's just the one from NKOTB. Donnie, we think. [THR]
· Actors come out in support of casting directors' attempts to unionize, trying to ensure that their valuable casting-related sexual favors don't shift any further toward the studios. [Variety]
· Big-time publicist Bumble Ward suffers a mid-life crisis, abandoning the flacking game to write novels. She's generously agreed to help the clients she will one day thinly veil in her fiction find new representation. [Variety]

How can Tara Reid's publicist continue to let her talk to the NY Post? Here's some free advice for her irresponsible flack: Steal her cell phone, chain her to the bed, and tell her that newspapers no longer exist. Even lab rats eventually learn to stop pushing the lever that electrocutes them.

While an 80th birthday makes most of us think about sticking our heads in the oven to relieve the burden on our children, Paul Newman is going to toss aside the walker and burn some rubber in the name of movie promotion:

· Lion's Gate ponies up $4 million for the Sundance jailbait revenge drama Hard Candy. [Variety, THR]
· Miramax's 17 Oscar nominations and double Best Picture chances may be the Weinstein's final "fuck you" to Disney. Well, metaphorically at least. Harvey Weinstein will still probably make the occasional expletive-filled prank phonecall to a retired Michael Eisner. [Variety]
· Michael Mann reflects on how his movies (he produced The Aviator and directed Collateral) snagged 13 Oscar noms, but stops short of proclaiming himself the King of Hollywood. [THR]
· The Tonight Show's weepy Johnny Carson tribute special does predictably enormous ratings numbers. [THR]
· American Idol's huge Nielsens keep Fox from backsliding into WB/UPN territory. [THR]

A reader scolded us for missing this story (we were drunk, etc etc) about Brian Grazer's potentially fatal flight to Sundance:

· Sundance turns Park City into a corporate-sponsored frat party, with Gersh apparently serving as the Tri-Lams. [Variety]
· The Weinstein Brothers arrive at Sundance and throw money around, trying to prove that Michael Eisner doesn't have their balls bronzed and sitting on his desk. [Variety]
· Brad Pitt to go forward with and star in Plan B produced Jesse James western. Yes, we know. Without Jennifer. Weep, weep. [Variety]
· Scarlett Johansson will host Academy's science and technical awards, following in the group's long tradition of getting hot chicks to distract from a ceremony we suspect is even boring for the nerds. [THR]
· Nickelodeon and Paramount give Robin Williams yet another opportunity to recycle his wacky characters voices in The Krazees. We really hope he does "The Lisping Homo," "The Crazy Hasidic Jew," "The Jive-Talking Black Guy," and "The Deaf Guy" so that the studios really get their money's worth. [THR]

· Jeff Zucker takes a cue from American Idol contestants, putting a happy face on failure and falsely singing the praises of network parity. Don't let them see you cry, Jeff—at least not until you're in the confessional. [Variety]
· Audrey Tatou joins the Hanks-led cast of The DaVinci Code, instantly making the whole movie adorable and quirky. Aw. (Still, we were rooting for dark horse Rachel Weisz, who admits in the February issues of British GQ that hell yes, she's fluent in French. Whatever, Audrey.) [THR]
· The Aviator gains Oscar momentum, winning the Producer's Guild Award for Best Picture. [Variety]
· "The biggest problem this year" at Sundance "is all the 'special' people who want 'special' attention, who want tickets at the last minute. When we say no, they get pissed off and start threatening to throw rocks at us." Our bad! Sorry, we'll quit it now. [Variety]
· Disney launches 24-hour news network, ABC News Now. The net will differ from others by making their overblown and biased coverage available "at any time of day over any device." [Variety]
· Nicholas Cage to star in biopic of legendary gambler Amarillo Slim Preston, thus singlehandedly oversaturating and killing the trendy poker-playing market. [THR]
· ABC chief McPherson reflects on net's success, citing the "sameness" of procedurals as the catalyst for shows like Desperate Housewives. Look for the "sameness" of suburban soaps to open the door for another network in about three years. [THR]

While a joking offer to shoot up in the bathroom with Scott Weiland might meet with a grateful acceptance or a polite, "I'm clean now" refusal, the same overture to Ron Howard's best buddy would probably result in a deal to write the sequel to A Beautiful Mind. Thankfully, this reader realized exactly which celebrity he was spying on before he committed an embarrassing faux pas and altered cinematic history,

· After watching the DGA and WGA go down in flames negotiating for increased DVD residuals, SAG/AFTRA gives up the dream after facing "rock-hard resistance from studios and nets." But everyone knew they were going to get bent over and given the "rock-hard" shaft after the writers and directors hummed their way through their earlier buggerings. [Variety]
· Despite The Big Pitt and Aniston Break-Up, Plan B and Tri-Star will soon start production on the adaptation of Running with Scissors, starring Annette Bening, Gwyneth Paltrow, Brian Cox, Evan Rachel Wood, and Joseph Fiennes. [Variety]
· More Brad and Jen: Mr. and Mrs. Smith will be a test case for whether or not banging your co-star before a very public split with your A-list wife results in increased box office. God, we hope it does, just for all the studio-ordered affairs. [THR]
· Huzzah! The overall deal is not yet dead! Darren Star is close to signing a three-year deal with Sony Pictures TV. OK, it's not dead if your last project was Sex and the City. [THR]
· Fox and Spelling TV team up for one hour drama set in a Las Vegas wedding chapel. Please, kill us now, and make it painful. It'll still be better than an hour of this. [THR]

CSI:NY is looking to do what countless directors, producers, and staffers shafted by Miramax have wanted to do for years: kill Harvey Weinstein. From a Now Casting notice:

It's been a while since we've received a cry for help from deep inside Miramax; we'd assumed that after months of slow torture, their staffers' tear ducts became desiccated from abuse. But now we know it's probably because they're too crippled by stress headaches to tap out pleas for help. The Weinsteins have all but packed their golden cardboard boxes, and it looks like they're raiding the medicine cabinet on the way out. A spy ignores the pain just long enough to squeeze out an e-mail:

· A NY court rules that Marvel Enterprises owes comic book legend Stan Lee 10% of the profits earned from TV and movies based on Marvel characters, including Spider-Man. (The worldwide gross from both Spidey movies is about $1.5 billion, but let's see what happens after the studio accountants are through.) Obviously, Marvel will appeal. [Variety]
· Les Moonves refuses to accept that UPN's ratings are flat, questions the whole Nielsen system! Well, as it pertains to his shows, anyway. [THR]
· Warner Brothers and Paramount are in negotiations to co-finance a film about the Zodiac killer. David Fincher is also in talks to direct, but, as always, he'll have to fight to make sure that his "foreboding atmosphere" budgetary needs will be met. Constant rain doesn't come cheap. [Variety]
· Acquisition-hungry studios descend on Sundance tonight, ready to feast on the "best lineup of films in recent memory." We can't wait to see what stays down and what gets vomited back up. [THR]
· American Idol defeats Lost in the Wednesday battle of ratings titans. Stay tuned as ABC rushes Lost's very special, out-of-tune musical episode onto the air next week. [Variety]

Both Disney CEO Michael Eisner and former president/erstwhile "Most Powerful Man in Hollywood" Michael Ovitz hoped to come out of the Hollywood Trial of the Century with their reputations intact, if not restored. That didn't exactly work out now, did it? With the trial ending yesterday, we're left with images of their comically dysfunctional relationship, with Eisner undermining his "psychopath" "soulmate" Ovitz at every turn, and Ovitz whispering in his ear, willing to do anything to get back in his good graces. Denying he was jockeying for some image rehab, Ovitz desperately clings to the idea that "the facts" will set him free:

Dear Tina,

· The Golden Globes ratings slump causes the Television Academy to consider overhauling the Emmys ceremony, such as removing most movie and miniseries categories from the telecast, or reducing the show to a half-hour series of reaction shots of the Will & Grace cast. [Variety]
· Fox entertainment president Gail Berman can unload the suicide pistol in her desk, as better than 30 million viewers per hour tuned in to watch the premiere American Idol "retards singing Ricky Martin standards" episode. [THR]
· Red-hot off The OC, Tate "Jimmy Cooper" Donovan signs on for...a Sci-Fi Channel series with Shaft? We smell an agent firing on the horizon. [Variety]
· Paramount is still remake-crazy, but at least this time they're bringing out the big talent guns for their live-action/CGI Charlotte's Web. Julia Roberts, Oprah, Andre 3000, Kathy Bates and a cast of thousands will do the voices. [Variety]
· We thought they'd hold out for Speed 3: Somewhat Faster, but Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves will reuinite in the romantic drama Il Mare for Warner Brothers. [THR]

You might think that Viacom co-president/glam future world despot Les Moonves might be momentarily chastened by the CBS News Memogate scandal. Do we have to say it? You'd be wrong. You don't get to the brink of seizing control of all you survey by cowering when cornered. No, when you're a big swingin' dick like Moonves and things get hot, you slap your rivals in the face with your member. This time, NBC golden-boy-on-the-ropes Jeff Zucker catches it in the face as Moonves notes that the Paramount TV part of his empire is producing NBC's promising Medium: