We're hearing that Harvey Weinstein isn't through slashing jobs at Miramax after last night's supposed liberation of his film acquisition crew. It might be hugs-and-cardboard-boxes time for even more of Harvey's Kids; the rumor circulating inside the 'Max is that 100 additional layoffs are coming as early as tomorrow. If further cuts are really on the way, Weinstein might want to hold off until Friday. That way he'll have time to prepare his office for the flood of thank-you notes he'll surely receive from newly emancipated employees eager to express gratitude for the gift of their unexpected freedom.

· Walt Disney Co. President and COO Bob Iger can sleep easier knowing that he's at the only internal candidate to replace CEO Michael Eisner. But he shouldn't sleep too soundly, as Eisner is consulting with voodoo priestesses on a hex that will cause Iger and Eisner to swap bodies the moment a succession occurs. [THR]
· CBS reaches a pilot deal for the Jerry Bruckheimer drama American Crime, examining the criminal impulse in a Midwestern suburb. Maybe we're being unfair because this one doesn't sound like it's part of the franchise, but whatever: We're dismissively branding this one CSI: Winnetka. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Emilio Estevez is cast as the lead in new Warner Bros. sitcom project for ABC, Long Island Sound. Ah, this really takes us back to the good old days, when Estevez and his Anglicized brother Charlie were running roughshod over Hollywood. Our fingers are tightly crossed that this familial resurgence will result in a long-awaited Men at Work sequel. [THR]
· Warner Bros. wants to be in the "Eric Bana as a high-stakes poker player business," handing him the lead in the Curtis Hanson film Lucky You. [THR]
· Miramax will finance and distribute Michael Moore's new health-care industry documentary Sicko. Let's see if Moore turns the camera on Harvey Weinstein and makes sure he's fulfilling his COBRA responsibilities to all those people he just laid off. [Variety, sub. req'd]

We're not going to bore you with "analysis" of the results of the just-concluded WGA elections, where president Dan Petrie Jr. trounced challenger Eric Hughes by a 71% to 26% margin (if you're keeping score), or what this means for the WGA's sitting-on-its-hands-until-the-DGA-wins-the-battle-for-us "negotiations" with the networks and studios. We even asked a Guild member who was handy what he thought of the results, and he said, "I have no fucking idea what it all means. I didn't vote." His chilling ambivalence says it better than we ever could, because we'll probably never be eligible for the WGA's legendary, kick-ass health plan. We'll congratulate Mr. Petrie Jr. and continue with our day.

It looks like Harvey "Scissorhands" Weinstein wasn't completely done slashing jobs at Miramax after last month's smaller-than-expected round of 65 layoffs. Now we hear that Weinstein axed Miramax's entire film acquisitions staff last night—as a spy puts it, "just so he has something else to atone for on Yom Kippur." Yeah, this should probably make his atonement list, but it could have been worse: We're fairly certain he didn't push the entire department out of an open window before they could clear out their offices.

· Universal will remake the British TV hit No Angels in America. The edgy drama follows nurses who "work hard by day and play hard by night." Anyone else remember Nightingales? Or Coupling? We look forward to savoring both episodes before the show is yanked. [THR]
· Samuel Goldwyn Films and 20th Century Fox team up for a remake of the French thriller, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. If it worked in France, there's absolutely no way it can be anything other than a huge hit here, right? Maybe they can throw in some naughty British nurses and admit we've given up on new ideas from America. [THR]
· The ratings are in, and the Emmys tanked like, well, an ABC show. They should demand a recount, just in case Garry Shandling's overflowing bile melted a few thousand Nielsen boxes. [THR]
· Rod "The Contender" Lurie signs a two-year deal with Touchstone TV with a two-script commitment, one of which will be the ABC drama pilot Commander In Chief, about the first woman president. Clearly, this will be the perfect opportunity for Paris Hilton to prove her acting chops. [THR]
· Dimension's Scary Movie 3 team of David Zucker, Criag Mazin, and Robert Weiss find yet another movie genre to lamely spoof with Superhero!. Expect endless jokes about wearing tights and the things that bulge when crammed into tights. At least it's not the Wayans Brothers on the job, or we'd really be in trouble with the dick jokes. [Variety, sub. req'd]

Former FX VP of publicity Steve Webster pleaded no contest for continuing to secretly phone in to network conference calls after he'd been fired by FX, then sending faxes with the eavesdropped information to News Corp president Peter Chernin and THR. The LAT reports that Webster's lawyer told the court he was "unconditionally remorseful." This is an important test case—we already know that publicists are conditioned to lie, but can they feel remorse? Even if Webster is found to be really, really sorry by the legal system, further experiments will have to be conducted to see if flacks can be made to feel guilt without a judge or cop in the room. Failing that, perhaps the eventual autopsy will prove our pet theory that publicists lack the "remorse gland" that would drive normal people crazy from lying for a living.

· Sex and the City's Michael Patrick King unveils his anticipated comeback move for HBO, taking Lisa Kudrow and essentially recreates the Jason Alexander storyline from Curb Your Enthusiasm, where a former sitcom star tries to revive her career. Oh, and it's self-consciously/obviously named The Comeback. We can't wait for the recycled banter about shoes and spunk. [THR]
· NBC may hold boxing reality series The Contender until midseason. Hopefully, people will have forgotten that an eerily similar Fox boxing show tanked several months earlier, making their own failure seem refreshingly original. [THR]
· Sarah Jessica Parker says there will be no Sex and the City movie. While this is incredibly good news to us, the passers-by that have always wished her well will certainly not be pleased. [THR]
· Variety notes that "reality is now a legit member of the Emmy family." What tipped them off? Simon Cowell and Donald Trump woodenly tag-teaming an award presentation? Or the fact that nearly every presenter name-checked The Donald in between roughly eight-thousand Trump reaction shots? [Variety, sub. req'd]

· Resident Evil's number one finish helps Milla Jovovich graduate from zombie killing to a (presumably) skinnier indie film paycheck, as she joins on for "domestic abuse with comic elements" film .45. What's a girl got to kill to get a raise and a romantic comedy? [THR]
· Thought dodgeball was the only semi-sport that deserved the over-the-top comedy treatment? Think again, as New Line picks up the ping-pong themed script Balls of Fury from erstwhile The State members Tom Lennon and Ben Garant. We are strangley enthused. [THR]
· Steve Martin and producing partner Joan Stein team up with the creators of the great-in-concept-only-ok-in-reality off-Broadway show Matt and Ben to develop a half hour comedy for the WB. The M and B girls are going to milk Good Will Hunting just as hard as Affleck and Damon did, God bless their hearts. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Ashton Kutcher and Jason Goldberg, the brilliant minds behind Punk'd, get a six episode order from the WB for a "top-secret makeover/dating" series. Hopefully it will involve the torture of celebrities, because otherwise we're not even a little bit interested. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Viacom co-president Tom Freston tries to put a non-Moonves stamp on Paramount, signing up Interscope bigwig Jimmy Iovine and Eminem's manager to first-look feature deal. We hope that Big Les is down with hip-hop, or things could get ugly. [Variety, sub. req'd.]

· Tom Cruise dumped Mission: Impossible 3 to do War of the Worlds with Spielberg, but he'll still engage The Fantastic Four in a Fourth of July showdown. We'll soon update our projections accordingly. [THR]
· Johnny Knoxville continues to expand his dramatic repertoire with the lead role in Daltry Calhoun, a film that allows him to innovate in the confines of the ever-popular "unexpected parent" plot. We're guessing his take will be "unexpected parent who isn't afraid to stick things up his ass." [THR]
· Tom Arnold is developing an ABC comedy loosely based on his time as a stepfather to Roseanne's three children, proving once again that he owes his entire life to a hilariously failed marriage. We should all be so lucky. [THR]
· Bravo picks up what promises to be among the most trainwreckilicious reality shows of all time, Being Bobby Brown. Whitney! Bobby! Boozin'! Pill poppin'! Rehabbin'! Get the sense we're excited? Why can't we TiVo this right fucking now!? [THR]
· Rupert Murdoch's compensation rose 42% in the last fiscal year. And just when we were finally going to stop believing in God. [Variety, sub. req'd.]

· The Bourne Supremacy's Karl Urban is set to star in Universal's Doom, setting him up to challenge Milla Jovovich as the top video-game adaptation star. We'd love to know if that's how his managers sold him on the project. [THR]
· Martin Scorcese fails to see a doctor to get approved for insurance, gets sued for breach of contract. Clearly, God is punishing him for his involvement in the Italian-American bashing Shark Tale. [THR]
· New Line purchases the NBA-centered comedy script Heckled and goes after Vince Vaughn for the lead. We recently heard that Vaughn's people are trying to transition him back to drama work, so maybe the heckler New Line wants him to play can kill somebody if they're serious about signing him up. [THR]
· From the studio that brought you the smash international box office sensation Garfield: The Movie comes even more CGI inspiration, Alvin and the Chipmunks. The stunt-casting of Bill Murray probably helped Garfield avoid total disaster, so maybe Fox will try to one-up themselves and get Richard Gere to do a cameo? [THR]

The LAT stops just short of calling Hollywood a ghost town as industry players try to extend their summer "vacations," leisurely close deals at the Toronto Film Festival, or blithely evade a new cycle of hard work. But it sounds like a post-apocalyptic wasteland to us, where even the unwashed masses can snag a "nice" booth at the Grill and slack-faced zombies like Larry King aimlessly shuffle through our city's power corridors:

· Stroke of genius or buzz-negating, stunt-casting disaster? Semi-musical block of wood Jessica Simpson will play Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie, alongside the already-cast Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott. Sure, she can fill out a pair of cutoffs, but for the love of God, someone please keep her away from the flaming arrows. [THR]
· Eternally classy, rootin' tootin' studio-headin' brothers Harvey and Bob Weinstein reconsider their split from Disney after CEO Michael Eisner's departure announcement. [THR]
· All Eisner, all the time: Former Disney board members Roy E. Disney and Stanley Gold (the savedisney.com masterminds) predictably demand that he step down sooner, instead of his leisurely 2006 exit date. And they're on to Eisner's Apprentice-like plans for the next two years, warning the board of "Eisner's brazen attempt to usurp your responsibilities as directors by stage-managing the appointment of his anointed successor." We hope he picks Kwame! [THR]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas XVII: Lovable The O.C. dork Adam Brody will help McG produce a Revenge of the Nerds remake for Fox Searchlight. Brody should know by now that the nerds have already won. [Variety, sub, req'd.]
· Jennifer Garner dumpee Scott Foley gets a development deal at 20th Century Fox, where he will try to drown the thought of Ben Affleck groping his ex-wife in television success. [THR]

So do you want to read about the supposed details of MGM's alleged sale to Sony, or do you want to look at a picture of a lion humping a lioness with a Sony logo over its eyes? Yeah, we thought so. It looks like it's a done deal, but given the frustrating, back-and-forth nature of the negotiations, we wouldn't rule out an 11th-hour purchase by the world-domination obsessed Viacom co-president Les Moonves, who'd then remortgage his bloodythirsty robot army to convert the studio into some sort of death ray, taking the entire North American continent hostage by the end of the week. OK, go ahead and call us paranoid...we'll no longer interfere with your enjoyment of the humping lions.

· OK, maybe it's not quite as "Must See TV" as NBC would have liked: Variety thinks Joey and The Apprentice's ratings numbers weren't anything to blow Donald Trump's combover back. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Canadian Ivan Reitman will produce film version of Canadian cult TV hit Trailer Park Boys, which "features three dope-smoking ex-convicts living among friends and family." We're floored, having had no idea that Canada had trailer parks, dope, or jails. [THR]
· With Michael Eisner not stepping down as Disney CEO until 2006, his replacement candidates prepare for two long years of hair-pulling, bloodletting, and the occasional hot-oil wrestling match to prove their worth to the cackling lame duck. [THR]
· Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick get an ABC pilot deal for 1/4Life, a drama focused on friends living in Chicago undergoing post-college mid-20's crises; think of it as thirtysomething before receding hairlines and erectile dysfunction set in. [Variety, sub. req'd.]

Whoops! Looks like Time Warner has dropped its bid to buy MGM and pulled out of The Lion mid-stroke. This puts nearly-jilted suitor Sony back in the hunt to snap up MGM's sloppy seconds with its reported $5 billion offer. We'd try and be happy for Sony, because there's something absolutely precious about how they hung around like Jon Cryer in a Molly Ringwald movie, humming along loudly to their Walkman while Time Warner bent their beloved over the arm of the sofa, but all of this back-and-forth drama has eroded what was left of our limited capacity for joy.

Following in the recent, business-savvy footsteps of celebutante/entrepreneur Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera has applied to trademark her name to brand about 450 future products. Strangely, we couldn't find "hair dye" or "nipple rings" in the trademark application, but here are five more or less randomly selected items that might bear her brand: bathroom and facial tissue; eyeglasses and contact lenses; panties; decorations for Christmas trees; paper party goods, namely party hats, cake decorations and table cloths. Imagine the new holiday tradition that could be born, as families adopt the practice of solemnly placing a Christina skank-angel on top of the Christmas tree!

· Now that all those chiefly involved have gotten the "let's sue each other" bug out of their systems, Basic Instinct 2 is back on track. Michael Caton-Jones (City by the Sea) is in negotiations to direct, taking up the challenge of making an upskirt shot of a much more, um, mature Sharon Stone seem hot. [THR]
· Americans have apparently tired of Bravo's style homos rummaging through their underwear drawers and exposing their tragically unfashionable skid-marks, as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is suffering a massive second season ratings drop. [THR]
· Fox signs Dave "Insomniac" Attell to a development deal. This could be a perfect match; Fox also has Tara Reid under contract and Attell's thing is following around drunks and making fun of them. [THR]
· VH1 orders another season of The Surreal Life after a strong premiere, continuing the important public service of reminding us week after week why these people should immediately be returned to obscurity after VH1 is done torturing them. [Variety, sub. req'd]

Michael Eisner has announced that he plans on stepping down as CEO/Supreme Emperor Cast Member of Disney, ending his two-decade tenure running the company. Before you gather all of your stuffed Goofy, Minnie, and Donald dolls in the backyard for a tear-soaked memorial service for his stewardship of the Magic Kingdom, realize that he's not set to leave until his contract runs out in September...of 2006—a full two years from now—to ensure there's adequate time to find a successor. Not too long ago, bloodthirsty shareholder mobs were marching on Eisner's office with pitchforks and torches and demanding Eisner's body be dragged behind the Electric Parade; had the board of directors handed Eisner over, we're pretty certain they would have come up with a replacement in less than two years. The good news: This extended national mourning period/farewell tour should give Eisner plenty of time to officially install as CEO the Frankenstein Mickey Mouse doll that's secretly been running the company for the last five years.

· Richard Linklater signs on to direct The Bad News Bears remake for Paramount, starring Billy Bob Thornton and written by the Bad Santa team. You know, it's like School of Rock but with Little League— which is troubling because we're pretty sure School of Rock was sold as The Bad News Bears with guitars. Still, we have high hopes for this one; Thornton as Mr. Buttermaker is a pretty inspired move. [THR]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas XIV: Warner Brothers has acquired the rights to remake Hawaii Five-O. Ocean's Twelve writer George Nolfi will adapt the material. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· ABC gives go ahead to a Happy Days anniversary special. The show will feature outtakes, montages, and a whole bunch of has-beens repressing their jealousy that Richie Cunningham has made a fortune directing thoroughly mediocre, yet Oscar-winning, features. And isn't the Fonz dead? No? Oh, that was the Three's Company guy. [Variety, sub. req'd]
· The Next Great Champ does not impress in debut. Our world remains officially un-rocked. [THR]
· A study shows that people with DVRs lurve them and never want to return to the plebian realm of four-minute commercials breaks crammed with shitty beer ads. Yes, that information required a study. [THR]

Is the MGM sale finally done? Spies are telling us that Time Warner officially purchased MGM today, with internal discussion of the incredibly complicated integration (presumably the busy work of layoffs, fancy new corporate names for things, and shitergy opportunities) to start tomorrow.