American Apparel ads raise unimportant questions: Can they get banned in the UK again, on purpose? Are buttocks economically superior to cocksuckers? And why are these fishnetty things everywhere now? Don't neglect your local sex shop. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge]

Here we have, you know, big ass butts, pimping food to children. Which is totally wrong, which is, of course, the whole point, because SO COOL ad agency Crispin Porter Bogusky, the inventors of all the weird Burger King ad shit, did this ad, and they just love doing things that people will say is too weird and also wrong, because it generates "Buzz," just like Midtown Manhattan. The point is Sir Mix-a-Lot is teaching obesity and sexuality to your kids and you're really okay with that, deep down, because you love Whoppers.

Flaming hot Underworld star Kate Beckinsale thinks her butt's too big! "She has a slim, toned figure that most women would die for. But Kate Beckinsale has demanded a body double for her latest film-because she 'loathes' her bottom. Producers have had to hire a £1,000-a-day nude stand-in after Kate, 34, refused to bare her derriere in a shower scene. In the past the actress, who earns £3.2million for a film, has not been shy of squeezing into sexy clothing and almost showed her bottom in Uncovered in 1994. But a source on her new film Whiteout said: 'Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body.'" Almost showed her bottom in Uncovered you say? Screen grab after the jump!

The Sex and the City/Golden Girls mash-up you joked about four years ago has finally been made real. I think I guffawed once! [Funny or Die]

When you're in a bar, and you need to get up from your seat for a moment, have you ever felt a desire for a paper square—preferably printed with a cheeky message—that you could place on your chair as a "seat saver" until you return? Us neither. But someone in Philadelphia apparently thought that such a thing would be useful innovation. As well as a perfect medium for advertising messages! So they made the thingamajigs, which are double-sided with two contrasting messages that you can change based on (guessing here) how drunk you are. What branding initiative wouldn't be enhanced by its inclusion on a product meant to primarily sit underneath people's asses? Two more pictures of these unreasonable things [via Adrants] below.

WARNING: An unauthorized butt enhancer may be on the loose in Manhattan. The Post breaks an EXCLUSIVE story this morning about Kimberly Smedley, a wanton, unauthorized woman with no medical training who offers black market silicone injections out of an East 39th St. hotel. For $1,600, Smedley promises women "J.Lo butts." But if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

The magalogue: It's back! The combo magazine/ catalogue bastardization never really went away [IHT/ Agenda Inc.], but Abercrombie is relaunching its version, A&F Quarterly, which was originally much appreciated, mostly, by horny teenage girls. The preppy retailer dropped the fake magazine several years ago because of the public outcry over the pictures. Abercrombie still loves unhealthily sexy advertising, but the cover of this year's AFQ (pictured) looks pretty straightforward. But after the jump, a few images from the riskier A&F Quarterlies of old. It's all a matter of taste (in butts).