Next Time, Cool Out With A Cruller. Pasadena native Bryan Curiel approached a trio of women at a doughnut shop in Newport Beach Sunday, and was promptly told to leave them alone. A few minutes later, they left the store, at which point Curiel sped his car directly at them—going "at least 50 mph." Curiel only managed to run over one of their feet before crashing into a nearby concrete bench. He's currently being held on $1 million bail, and charged with several felony charges including attempted murder, for which he'd get life in prison if convicted. Moral of the story? Don't just say yes to the first guy who asks you out at the doughnut shop. He could be crazy! [cbs2.com]

One Day at a Time is both the title of a seminal postfeminist late-'70s sitcom and a 12-step mantra, and both apply to its star and recovering substance-abuser Mackenzie Phillips. IMDb lists her as having been clean and sober since 1992, but TMZ is reporting that the actress was arrested today at LAX, allegedly for possession of heroin and coke. She's currently in custody:

Picture it: Kate Hudson in The Secret of the Volcanic Ash! It's the hilarious romantic adventure of an actress (who may or may not be trying to kill love interest Owen Wilson) who absconds with a lucrative, well-kept secret: a vial of volcanic ash from the jungles of Vanuatu that has the potential to revolutionize women's hair care forever! There's just one problem (and it isn't the movie's predictable third act): this tale is real, and Hudson is getting sued for it. Says the Daily Mail:

The saga of Bryan Singer's Valkyrie, the Tom Cruise-as-Hitler-stalking -Nazi-infidel project that we frequently need to remind ourselves is an actual movie, and not just an improbable plot point in James Frey's Bright Shiny Morning—is not one for the fainthearted. From a location shoot hindered by a cult-leery, swastika-averse German government—to an ongoing round of musical release-dates that most recently positioned its opening for December 26, 1857, a safe 40 years before the invention of movie projectors—this is not what you call a sinking studio's dream project. Now Deadline Hollywood Daily notes that 11 Nazi soldier extras who fell out of a truck during filming last summer are suing United Artists for $11 million. (That's one million per Nazi, for those not schooled in the Third Reich-championed Hitler Math.) From Spiegel Online:

And now, another installment of "You Win One, You Lose One" (Andy Dick edition)! Win: The troubled comedian, who was accused of sexual battery for pulling down a 17-year-old girl's top at a chicken joint in July, has now seen his charge downgraded to a mere assault (though he'll still face four other misdemeanor charges related to the incident). Lose: According to TMZ, the arrest report for the incident includes the following unforgettable anecdote:

The LAT has a fascinating story today about Gregory S. Brown, a 51-year-old former Disney researcher who's lived in the same one-bedroom apartment in Hollywood for the last 20 years. Brown had once tried and failed to take over Harvey Comics. In doing his research, he discovered an old Ghostbusters lawsuit in which an overlooked copyright claim had allowed Fatso, Casper's sidekick and a dead-ringer for the movie's logo, to lapse into the public domain. Armed with his new knowledge of such loopholes, he returned to the Disney vaults to find similar cases. A failure to renew the copyright on the 1933 Mickey Mouse cartoon The Mad Doctor led to a business selling knockoff cels from that film. Disney sued him, and won a $500,000 settlement. Now something of an early-animation copyright expert, Brown went back to the stacks to research his defense; it was then that he learned something truly astonishing: Thanks to some shoddy legalese, just about anyone could move Disney's cheese.

In lieu of simply noting the facts of this TMZ story on a lawsuit involving former Malcolm in the Middle star Justin Berfield and his producing partners on an is-it-real-or-is-it-Entourage? Pablo Escobar biopic, we thought we'd instead check in with the 24 Hr. TMZ Fact-Checking Dept.—i.e. their unpoliced comments section—for oversights, omissions, and general findings of note. Defamer's Crack Copy-Editing Team, meanwhile, presents the following with a sprawling blanket [sic]:

While the early eyewitness accounts of last week's Blonsky Family Reunion and Airport Rumble yielded enough specifics to suss young star Nikki Blonsky's injuries, it wasn't until today that we've finally seen the video that we knew would surface in the bloody aftermath. And what a scene it is, featuring Blonsky's Long Island nemesis and America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden standing firm as the Hairspray actress is dragged away, yelping for charges to be pressed. But what really makes the sparring special is the camerawoman's inspired commentary: "She done decked the girl out, Tracy Turnblad... She won't be dancing around here today." No kidding: Both Blonsky and Golden were later charged with actual bodily harm (which, according to People Magazine, carries a maximum sentence of two years), while Blonsky's father Carl faces even sterner judgment — a five-year maximum on charges of grievous bodily harm. And at the end of it all stands the steely-eyed Golden, prompting us to wonder exactly how such a lithe beauty could ever outmaneuver the infamous Blonsky Sandwich. So many questions! For now, though, follow the jump and bask in the play-by-play joy, live from Turks and Caicos. [TMZ]

Word just over the Defamer transom reveals that Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested after an airport brawl that left the Golden Globe-nominated actress in a neck brace. Reportedly, on a stopover in Turks and Caicos during her long flight from Long Island sweets-slinger to pugilist diva, both Nikki and Pa Blonsky went to war rather than move their luggage for an unnamed woman. More details — including a cameo by an America's Next Top Model contestant(!) — after the jump.

Shia LeBeouf continues to recover from hand surgery after some spectacular Bayian stuntwork at the corners of LaBrea and Fountain early Sunday morning, resulting in an overturned pick-up truck, plus a massive fireball after the frazzled actor exhaled a gust of 80-proof breath while trying to light a cigarette. We've already explored his conveniently timed Details interview, in which he spoke freely of hard-partying father-son bonding moments, and his inability "to have one drink." ET has video (above) of the interview, in which he charms a giggly off-camera reporter with flippant observations about his renegade drugstore exploits ("Walgreens is a formidable foe, let me tell you guys right now. It was the battlegrounds of my life. The coliseum where all the rumbles happen."). He also openly longs for a time when "actors were magical. Now that paparazzis are rampant the business is losing the magic a little bit. You always feel like people know too much."Variety, meanwhile, has a report from the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen set, where Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet, and the rest are passing the time playing Trivial Pursuit: Totally '80s Edition until their star gets back:

And our Concealed Weapon Charge of the Day award goes to foreign comedy treasure Jerry Lewis, 82, who was found to be carrying an unregistered handgun at the Detroit airport today. Lewis's manager Claudia Marghilano later explained it was a "a hollowed-out prop gun" that Lewis "sometimes twirls" before weepy dollar-store runs. [AP]

Breaking! It now emerges that Shia LaBeouf may not have been completely at fault for his DUI accident: "L.A. County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said the investigation suggests that another driver may have run a red light, hitting LaBeouf's truck. That driver was cited at the scene for running a red light." Do you suddenly find yourselves confused about how to feel? If a drunk driver gets hit by a red-light-runner at Fountain and LaBrea, flipping over his three-ton truck in the process and necessitating hand surgery, does it make a sound? We'll let you ponder these imponderables as we attend to a specially designated Ethical Dilemma Boston Cream Donut. Mmm...morally ambiguous cussstarrrrrd. [LAT]

It's been two days since Shia LaBeouf's early-morning DUI accident, in which the well-liquored star of the latest Indy Jones installment was sent hurtling through the air in his three-ton, American-built pickup truck (360 views, specs, and color options available here) at the corners of Fountain and LaBrea. As it turned out, the only thing his heavy-duty ride had picked up that evening was his Transformers sequel co-star, Australian actress Isabel Lucas. While her reportedly miffed boyfriend Adrian Grenier was unforthcoming with status updates, we have it on good authority from the fine people at TransWorld News press release syndicate that her rep "can’t confirm anything...but I have been informed she is at work, on the set of Transformers and is fine.” Phew! We can't confirm anything, either, but we're informed we're extremely relieved for the young actress.Witnesses from the crime scene have since emerged, including passerby Brian Perrulli—aka Tobey Maguire's long-lost goth twin—who recalls a bystander recommending LaBeouf flee the scene (perhaps after placing a floormat over the vehicle and hoping no one noticed it?). But as he told Access Hollywood, Shia was having none of that:

The signs, as they say, were there. A rough-and-tumble kid from the hard streets of Echo Parque, Shia LaBeouf traded in tubesteak and greasepaint as a child, raised by hot-dog-vending clown parents. (A profession, if the lessons of Momzo are to teach us anything, which can frequently lead to movie star delinquency.) It would not be long before his magnetic screen presence and deft improvisational skills would catch the eye of a Hollywood in a desperate search for its next everyman superstar. But while he seemed up to the tasks of blockbuster movie-making—whether sexing a hyperdeveloped co-star on the hood of an anthropomorphic Camaro, or getting thwacked in the balls by jungle vegetation—it was off-screen that LaBeouf began developing a reputation for recalcitrance. Shia, they whispered, was capital-t trouble.There was an arrest at a Chicago area pharmacy—for, as he tells it, disturbing the Walgreen's peace on an alcohol-fueled cigarette and Clearasil run. There was an unlawful smoking citation in Burbank, and a bench warrant issued when he failed to appear in court. And there was that leaked video of a Five-Fingered Mexican Roulette session, in which the adolescent superstar taunted his slap-fight sparring partner with a gay slur. Of course, that was was all just the overture for what was to come. Sunday morning at 2:30 a.m., LaBeouf made a left turn at the corner of LaBrea and Fountain. It was a seemingly simple driving maneuver made less so by three crucial factors: 1. The oncoming car didn't break in time. 2. He was drunk. 3. Michael Bay didn't shout, "Cut! Print! OK, let's move on to the Soundwave breakdancing sequence. Hustle, people—we're losing daylight!" through a bullhorn at the end of it. From the LAT:

As part of our ongoing commitment to bring you incremental updates in the Christian Bale Acting Huffy Towards Some Female Relatives story, we now have word on the actor's first public acknowledgment of The Incident at a Spanish press conference:

The dissolved love affair between Anne Hathaway and would-be Vatican real-estate magnate Raffaello Follieri has strewn more than its fair share of heart-rending detritus through the young actress's life. But no abandoned dog or red-carpet ambush wields the devastating potential of Hathaway's private diaries, which were the prize catch among Pope photos, antique Bibles and other keepsakes evidence reportedly seized by the FBI in a recent raid on Follieri's residence. The confiscations come amid word that Follieri is struggling with his new digs at the Metropolitan Correction Center in New York, where his calls to Hathaway go unreturned and the Get Smart star's rumored compliance with the feds has zapped the last of the fraud suspect's oily mojo:

We return you live to the frontlines of the Dark Knight Dark Publicity™ campaign, where the comely star of the highest-opening movie of all time—we swear we're looking for any photo that registers less than "sweltering" on the Bat-Hunk Meter, and coming up short— is facing down his most formidable foe yet: His professional clown mother, Momzo. Here's all the latest:
· The Daily Mail is reporting that Bale "flew off the handle" when his mother said "some outrageous things" about the actor's wife, makeup artist Sandra "Sibi" Blazic. He responded by calling her some very heated, un-Batmanly-like things, and was charged with Class 5 verbal assault, the least aggravated of all verbal-assault classes. (Class 1 is when you start entering the "You farty nincompoop!!!"-area. Thank god he didn't go there.) [Fox News]

It was the Blockbuster Scandal That Ate the Morning! There it was, splashed across the pages of every paper from The Gotham Times to the Gotham Mirror: Batman was behind bars for allegedly attacking his own sister and mom—in a sense turning him into the very kind of societal ill he'd committed his life to ridding using a wide variety of bat-shaped objects. Out on bail and charged with no crime, Bale's lawyer told reporters the accusations aren't true:

Perhaps to our discredit, we had long ago relegated disgraced fashion designer/tacky Web-site proprietor Anand Jon Alexander to the quiet corners of our minds where accused serial rapists like him (59 counts, at last check) await trial. Sharon Waxman, meanwhile — who extensively interviewed AJ and pored over eight volumes of grand jury transcripts for an article in the new issue of Los Angeles — acknowledges that the testimony of the aspiring models he allegedly assaulted is both "damning" and "extremely weak in places," implying that Alexander's case may not be as open-and-closed as we'd suspected once it goes to trial in September. "Anand Jon does not appear to be a nice guy," she writes. "But that is not a crime in any state."

If you are anything like us, when you first learned of Andy Dick's arrest outside Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta early this morning, your first reaction was this: "Buffalo Wild Wings?" followed shortly thereafter by, "Murrieta?" Thankfully, this KCAL report filed from the scene of the alleged teen-fondling crime fills in all the missing pieces. SEE! The depressing cookie-cutter suburban shopping center parking lot! HEAR! The reporter describe Dick as "intoxicated" and having "urinated." THRILL! To the Buffalo Wild Wings patio furniture. We understand a portion of the proceeds from every order of a dozen garlic suicides sold tonight goes to the local Andy Dick Bike-By-Groping Victims' Network.