This mystery is bugging me: Why were the three young guys behind Barack Obama during his concession speech tonight all wearing Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts? Maybe it's a plot by the Obama campaign to win back the gay community, which has something of a taste for the youth clothing retailer and, especially, its catalogs, but whose vote is basically owned by Hillary Clinton. But gays aren't really a swing vote in the upcoming Indiana or North Carolina primaries, nor in the Democratic party's upcoming battle against Republican nominee John McCain. Perhaps, instead, this is some kind of bizarre attempt at product placement by Abercrombie, trying to latch on to some of Obama's rock-star appeal. Watch the Abercrombie boys shuffle around and holler during Obama's speech in the video after the jump.

Ryan Adams tends to overshare on the internet, but his blogging of an apparently botched dye job tonight is, indisputably, an appropriate use of the Web. In fact, it seems like exactly the sort of thing Tumblr was invented for in the first place. The topic is a little intimate, because it's about his feelings on an important part of his body, but not too intimate or oversharey because, duh, it's just hair. Plus it's just the sort of thing that will deeply impact the lives of Adams' obsessed fans. Disclaimer: I'm assuming it was a "disaster" because of the quote above and another photo captioned "melting," but sometimes these things turn out for the best. Or so I've heard. Here's the evolution of Adams' hair, and the musician's feelings toward it, as told by Adams himself:

Suspicious: During a pro-Hillary speech by Bill Clinton at Indiana University, the Barack Obama campaign started giving away concert tickets to Dave Matthews Band. The giveaway was the first opportunity to grab the tickets, and a line formed, partly made up of people who left the Clinton event, according to the Indianapolis Star. One student waited for more than three hours.

CNN did a segment on the rise of "the famous-for-nothing celebrity," and turned of course to one of the top experts in the field, Star editor-at-large Julia Allison. Julia sounded a little alarmed about the whole trend toward vapid media personalities. "There is nowhere to go but down," she said. Then: "Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag are extremely good at makeup and wearing dresses and at posing" — and at nothing else, implicitly. It would be easy to mock Allison, whose time at giveaway newspaper AM New York and whose smile-for-the-cameras gig at Star hardly justify her own reality show. But after scouring the blogs of would-be fameballs like Mary Rambin and Emily Brill during a three-week Allison drought, it would be disingenuous to call Julia anything other than a master of the topic on which she speaks. You made being famous-for-nothing look so easy, Jules! Watch Allison project a little in the video after the jump.

Who doesn't have exclusive naughty Ashley Dupre content at this point? The Eliot Spitzer hooker appears topless (and nipple-less, thanks to silly photo editing) in the Orlando Sentinel this evening after the paper discovered it photographed her while preparing an article on video series Girls Gone Wild in 2003. The Sentinel follows in the Dupre-scooping footsteps of Us Weekly (non-nude photos), Girls Gone Wild (nude video), the Post (various, including a nudie cover photo), the Times (non-exclusive but quickly reposted MySpace pics), Daily News (cocaine allegations), Larry King (interview with an alleged Dupre pimp), nightlife impresario Steve Lewis (Dupre's celebrity boyfriend), and Gawker (cell phone video). There is surely more Dupre content lying undiscovered in laptops, cell phones and photo stashes across the country, not to mention social networks, magazine archives and random websites. Find your own EXCLUSIVE Dupre material and publish it to the world before the rest of your friends and relatives do likewise and Dupre finally and mercifully becomes passe, if she hasn't already. An oh-so-sexy sample from the Sentinel's EXCLUSIVE 16-photo gallery is after the jump.

After offering Eliot Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupre $1 million to pose for a nude video, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis discovered he already had nude video of Dupre, and now says it will be the final word on the ex-prostitute because "I got to her before Spitzer - she looked a lot better at 18." Francis told the Post he filmed Dupre "in girl-on-girl action" after she was thrown out of a Miami Beach hotel during spring break and took refuge on Francis' party bus. Dupre's celebrity is allegedly about to end, according to the Post — sales of her song have dried up and traffic to her MySpace page has slowed. An attorney who represents a different hooker said it might be too late for her to cash in. Really? Somehow it seems unlikely all porn, book and "butt girl" opportunities have passed Dupre by. The Post, for example, appears to have more than a little faith in the call girl's popularity: the tabloid assembled an eight-page Girls Gone Wild Dupre photo gallery, plus a four-page gallery of Dupre clubbing. A representative photo from each is after the jump.

After Paris Hilton went to jail for violating her drunk driving probation, she lied to America and Africa and basically the entire planet. She promised Larry King, global news demigod, that nightclubs would no longer be the focus of her life. She vowed to stop hanging out with opportunists. She said she was going to build a transitional home for lady criminals. She even promised to visit Rwanda and multiple other gross countries to do charity-type things, such as stuff for children. Everyone everywhere was touched, so Harvard students gave her a very special award. But then MTV offered the opportunist socialite a reality show, and Hilton dropped all those loving sacrifice plans, and the Times today exposed her wrongdoing. Hilton promises she will get around to the selfless stuff eventually, but we know she is lying, so let's just look at her past lies and die a little bit inside:

Lindsay Lohan is trying to prove she is not the worst actress in the world, so she took a topline role in Chapter 27, a biopic about the guy who shot John Lennon. This way, she can show off her ability to simulate the sort of person who would hang out with one or more mentally imbalanced New Yorkers. Such a stretch! Some people think Lohan will be overshadowed by co-star Jared Leto, who gained a ton of weight and developed gout and can actually act. If the following YouTube clip is any indication, those people are absolutely correct:

After a decidedly skanky performance at the MTV video music awards, two trips to the bughouse, some Svengali hopping and a nipple flash, all since last fall, burned out singer Britney Spears decided it would be better if she was a Japanese anime character in her next music video instead of her flawed human self. Also in the video, she's a superhero instead of a wreck whose father runs her life by order of government authorities. The Sun claimed Spears "told label bosses" she wanted the video done this way, but more likely the record company remembered how difficult Spears can be at a photo shoot and realized she'd been to the psychiatric wing of the hospital twice in the first two months of the year, and decided to just hire some animators in Asia and be done with it. After the jump, a look at new clean cartoon Britney interspersed with shots of messy real life Britney.

A big magazine industry report came out, and it turns out People magazine's top selling regular issue last year featured Owen Wilson on the cover just after his attempted suicide. People's biggest seller so far in 2008 was about Heath Ledger's death. The magazine's top sellers of all time were Sept. 12, 2001 and just after Princess Diana died. But death and misery do not rule completely:

I can barely see the faintest outline, and if there is anything I think it has more to do with a powerful camera flash than voluntary exposure. But an email tipster swears Allison, the Star "editor" and Time Out New York dating columnist, is showing a little nipple in this photo in an attempt to take "the next step in attention whoring." Really? If anything, she's just staying competitive in a cutthroat celebrity market. A CSI-style closeup of this critical and very important development after the jump. You are welcome.

Ellen Page continues to enjoy the halo of her success in the hit film Juno, moving from the cover of Entertainment Weekly to a hosting gig on Saturday Night Live last night. But Juno writer Diablo Cody has watched her stock tumble since her moment in the sun at the Oscars. There was the issue of her million-dollar diamond-encrusted shoes, which Cody bizarrely thought came with no strings attached and which she turned into the subject of a furious MySpace post about how the designer only lent them to her for (gasp!) purposes of publicity. Then there was the question of whether she wanted to get a tattoo of Ellen Page's face, and then the cringe-worthy quote where Cody said she would "personally put my vag out there" if "the Beef Council would cough up the proper endorsement money." If the idea was to remind everyone of Cody's punk-rock, stripper background in the fashion of her blog, "the Pussy Ranch," well, it worked: Hollywood is now worried about whether all the other stripper screenwriters out there are going to shove aside more deserving but less flashy scribes. The worst blow yet, of course, was the not-so-loving impersonation of Cody on SNL last night. To add insult to injury it was shepherded in front of the audience by no less than Page:

It turns out that squads of Guardian Jews are protecting the biggest celebrities in Hollywood, starting with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Demand for their services has only grown with the transformation of the paparazzi into a much more cutthroat gang that includes illegal immigrants and ex-thugs. Celebrity network TMZ filed a video report on Jewish guards that milks the ethnic angle for all it's worth, as in the brief excerpt after the jump: Hava Negila plays in the background, a spurious connection is made between celebrity bodyguarding and counterterrorism and a Jew pops off semiautomatic handgun shots like he bought the bullets wholesale:

Britney Spears doesn't have cash to buy herself food, medicine and other basic goods, is selling off homes and has seen record advances decline, according to a New York Times story on her financial situation. This despite the fact she's worth around $50 million and was averaging $760,000 per month in royalties as of May 2007. In the past two years, she listed or sold a $7.5 million Hollywood home, a $10 million house in Malibu and a $4 million condo in Manhattan. Where does the money go? She spends around $102,000 per month entertaining herself, traveling and giving gifts; lawyers are trying to determine whether the rest is tied up in "risky investment vehicles" or other business deals. Also? Someone may be stealing right from under her nose:

The cancellation of this year's Vanity Fair party, the social highlight of Oscars night, is a tragedy. Not so much because it deprives gatecrashers of their most significant challenge of the year; but because Graydon Carter's annual party invites represent a definitive list of celebrity. The next best thing: social scientist Elizabeth Currid and her colleague analyzed photographs of guests since last year's gathering, to calculate the most socially connected and socially promiscuous of celebrities. A taster: highly connected Kimora Lee Simmons is a perfect celebrity disease vector, or else simply skilled at working her way into the frame. But one of the flightiest social butterflies, a cute Spanish actress, seemingly devoted to her craft, will surprise you.

Paris Hilton just flashed her nipple at a Hollywod club, and it's not because she was supposedly smoking a joint or about to get it on with actor Simon Rex. It's because Paris will not be left out of a celebrity nudity trend. Sex tapes? She is the queen of sex tapes. Vadge flashes? She taught Britney Spears that move. But just last month Britney flashed her boob like she's some kind of Janet Jackson, and Paris WILL NOT BE UPSTAGED. Here's Paris' nipple, and those that bravely paved the way for it (marginally NSFW):

Socialite media upstart Emily Brill has a big secret project in the works, and she's not sure how she feels about it, writing that the "hush hush" endeavor was "a very tough decision... it took every bit of strength I had." Could it have something to do with the debutant porn producer she's been hanging around with?

Anderson Cooper would like to have a very serious, very special talk with you. The silver-haired CNN anchor knows you, his obsessive fan, got a little huffy when he told Conan O'Brien that his "live blog was a chance for all my stalkers to be in one place at one time." Look, he didn't mean it like that. It's just, when you are as beautiful as he is, there some cooky, crazy people who come out of the woodwork. Or out of the steam room at Equinox. Whatever. The point is, take this quick test, written by Anderson himself, and decide if you are a stalker:

Rosie O'Donnell is one of the few celebrities to create a truly successful website, selling advertising, generating free publicity and keeping her fans busy between her gigs. Now the comedian and former TV host is trying to use the site to draw in her longtime obsession, Britney Spears. O'Donnell has admitted "I leave [Spears] stalker-like messages" and said she wants Britney to come live with her; now she's using the "Ask Ro" section of her site to trash the most important people in Britney's life, one by one, in a longshot attempt to lure her into Rosie's waiting arms. She started with Britney's mom and dad, then moved on to Sam Lufti, her recent hanger-on-turned-crutch:

It used to be that the creepiness of aging, B-List rockers was confined to whatever mall or car dealership they were opening, but now through the miracle of the internet, they are all practically swarming with aging fans across the country. Also, they can have extremely creepy conversations involving strip clubs, dry humping, propositions and the word "mommy," as in this recent clip of a run in between Gene Simmons and a fan, apparently one of many in line to have creepy conversations with the former KISS bassist: