Under what has to be our favorite headline since "Revealed! Seahorse Sluts," Kati Cornell reports that reputed crime figure "John "Junior" Gotti made a failed bid to turn himself into a publishing king by investing in a celebrity-packed magazine for prison inmates called Hottie." We're going to forego the obvious suggestion that perhaps Maer Roshan missed out on an alternate opportunity to fund Radar and just point out the fact that even Victoria Gotti thought this was a bad idea, and she doesn't say no to anything. Still, we're not sure that her judgment was correct in this case: We've obtained a test cover Junior put together, and we think the thing shows potential. You'll find it after the jump.

• Former Maxim UK editor and HuffPo devilkin Greg Gutfeld hits fashion week; misses Tuleh, but looks fabulous nonetheless. [Radar]
• Meanwhile, when the fashion establishment acknowledges bloggers and lets the pasty kids into the tents, it's good for the internerds — but with every blog post, the allure of the chic plummets. Who wants to wear a label that's accessible, for chrissakes?! [WSJ]
• An insider on the Today show's new set, to be unveiled tomorrow: "It reminded me of the Fortress of Solitude from Superman." [TVNewser]
• Describing Demi Moore with her "legs spread like Liza doing a Fosse work-out" is a really disgusting choice of words, timing-wise. [National Post]
• Living in a post-Crocodile Hunter world means STINGRAY RAGE. No, seriously. [Times UK]
• Johnnie Walker advertises in Beirut, but they really could've taken it a bit further and articulated the point. [Animal]
• Anna Nicole Smith's son seems to have died of unnatural causes. We'll keep the inappropriate jokes about Trimspa to ourselves, thanks. [TMZ]
• You've always known that celebrities are more narcissitic than the average American, but now there's scientific proof. [LAT]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Flavor Flav. Public Enemy rapper, reality show host, Google lover.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Ellen DeGeneres is in a car crash (not caused by paparazzi, for once), making for excellent online advertising opportunities. [TMZ]
• Lloyd Grove survives Labor Day, reports that Jessica Simpson is even more of a whore than previously believed. The melanin princess collected assloads of swag and a $50K Chrysler convertible — though the latter will be donated to charity, as homegirl doesn't drive domestic. [Lowdown]
• The New York Public Library and fashion don't mix. Specifically, literacy clashes with Anna Wintour's McQueen tartans. [Page Six]
• Showgirls scribe Joe Eszterhas goes out on a limb and calls Val Kilmer an "imbecile" and Michael Douglas "not brilliant." [R&M]
• Julia Roberts' BO would be a standout contribution to the world of celebrity perfumes. [Page Six]

We conclude our coverage of the VMAs with a look at the coifs and tonsures that make us realize this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Warning: Do not look directly at images.

We don't want to oversell it, but this may very well be the single greatest video ever posted here to Gawker. Turn your audio up to ten, please.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

We're gonna go ahead and say that this doesn't require a whole lot of explanation. Except for that whole WTF? thing.

We were at the gym kind of late last night, running on the elliptical trainer and watching MTV on the personal TV, because THAT IS HOW WE ROLL. We were just in time to catch Beyonce's performance at the VMAs. Did you catch it? We will describe it for you: all these sirens go off because it is an emergency, a DANCE EMERGENCY, and then Beyonce is lowered to the stage? On a rope? With the most serious look on her face? But like, sexy-serious? Wearing a giant tan trench-coat? We actually laughed out loud and said "This is the most retarded thing we have ever seen" to no one in particular. It's shit like that that makes us stay away from shit like that, which is why we sent Gawker Correspondent Neel Shah to the actual proceedings, because THAT IS ALSO HOW WE ROLL.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

In this old-school edition of the stalk: An Examination of the Concept of Meta As It Relates to Kieran Culkin. And, of course, feel free to drop a tab, or a cap, or whatever it is you kids do these days to flashback to sightings circa Fall 2005, after all, we did.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.